MCN Commentary & Analysis

Reviewing Nightmare Alley From The MIdway

Welcome to the show, mother chuckers!

For the mere price of a month of Netflix, we will show you the history of man. But not just any man. A man of mystery. A man of beauty. A man born to be a star, born to be hungover, born to hustle and snipe and find your silver linings. But he is not the man you expect.

His journey had brought him here to the side show, wandering into our lives and being easy on the eyes. But what does he want? What does any man really want?

Over here, you have Zeena, who can see what the future will bring and steal the fleeting moments in front of her. Over there you have Molly, who can take a zapping and keep them clapping. Not sure. Not ready. But with all the desire of a woman with twice her experience. But don’t look now… it’s old worn-out Pete that may be the true apple of Stan’s eye.

It’s all about reading people and having the skill to read aloud and on the move. And Stan has that all over and twice on Sundays.

But just when you think you know where the show is going, it moves… moves into the land of fancy dames and dapper Dans. We’ve landed in a high falutin’ cash money palace. And Stan has them eating out of the palm of his magic hands. Until Lilith… she who walks the earth to tie men to their earthbound ways… the primordial she-demon known for her dark work with our friends of the Hebraic persuasion, famous from Sumer to Assyria to Babylonia. Lilith.

Blonde, beautiful, and sculpted to within an inch of your life, she wants what Stan has, even if she doesn’t quite know what Stan has. But again, our boy has to decide… the lady or the tiger?

What will he take? What will he take? Well, everything if he can get away with it! But rest assured… this isn’t that kind of movie.

Can Stan take what he wants and not take too much? Ah, the tale will be told in the confines of theater, in the dark, in comfort and ease.

Guillermo and his magicians of world renown will take you into the world of the film noir with all the magic tools of modern filmmaking. So much beauty… so likely to bite. The world is a dirty place and that is just how this crew likes it.

You will believe a man can geek… and trick… and twist… and go where no man should go, lest they be transformed in an unexpected way. Human desire is a powerful thing, whether that desire is good, bad or completely insane. Money can’t save you. Self-delusion can’t save you. The love of a good woman? Ha! Save it for the funny papers.

Cooper… Mara… Blanchett… Collette… Dafoe… Straithairn… Jenkins… Perlman… the greatest bunch a freaks you’re likely to see at a movie this year. And kick in Collins and Nelson to boot. You can’t escape the stench of great acting on this one… as though you want to!

You’re just going to have to put those 16 numbers in a machine and go through the dark door to see for yourself. You must be brave to go on this ride. Your height doesn’t mean a thing. You just have to stop giving in to your fear… stop giving in to you whims… stop waiting for a happy ending.

Step right up! And welcome to the show, you mother chuckers!

3 Responses to “Reviewing Nightmare Alley From The MIdway”

  1. Glamourboy says:

    Are you ok, Dave? This is a horribly written film review. And it is really too bad because there is so much to discuss in this amazing movie.

  2. Pat Hobby says:

    WTF?

  3. cadavra says:

    Jeez, people! Isn’t it obvious? He’s reviewing the film in a carnival barker’s spiel. And he’s pretty spot on.

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