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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Me, Ranking The Marvel Movies

Here’s an exercise I never felt any urge to do before…

We are only 13 movies into the history of Marvel-produced Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. But here we are… and since I really liked some of the recent films, I got curious about how I would rank them.

I would probably put today’s Guardians 2 release right between the 2nd & 3rd Cap. It’s my second favorite true sequel, but it is so overloaded with ideas and so anxious to get the same laughs it got the first time, but 4x this time out, it stuck me as overload. And one of the big ideas just doesn’t work. They tried hard, but couldn’t make it work the right way.

Doctor Strange – The most spun spin-off of the M-pMCU. It’s derivative of Nolan in ways, but has the most effective use of CG —aside from the bending buildings— in the entire MCU, including non-Marvel-produced films. The effects felt naturalistic, or at least as naturalistic as effects can feel. It rarely felt like an effect wasn’t fully attached to an idea. Nor did it feel (a little in the third act) like someone told Scott Derrickson that he needed something more showy. This is a kinky, wild movie and that made it feel great.

Ant-Man – Also off-brand in most ways. It felt like what it really was by the time they made it, a character comedy that happened to have effects. I still have no idea why Edgar Wright left (jumped or pushed) because the film does have some of his comic energy. But it is also clearly Peyton Reed’s movie. The effects here are often brilliant, but taken as a whole, there is a real 1980’s pre-CG effects feel to a lot of it, which I loved and which I assume was intentional. Not as kinky as Dr. Strange, but a strong #2 for me.

Iron Man 3 – Until the cop-out ending, I enjoyed this very Shane Black piece. It felt like the effects and all were already worked out and that was someone else’s job and all Black had to do was to focus on telling his variation on the Iron Man story. Less encumbered with the weight of all things Marvel or fanboy obsessions, it was just a good story, well told… until that ending… oy.

Guardians of the Galaxy – I think it’s overrated, but there is no denying the joy of James Gunn doing his own thing on the first of the M-pMCU’s spin-off movies. I can pick this thing apart from today to next Thursday – the sequel is much better technically and as filmmaking, but has story problem, way too complicated for its own good – but there is pleasure in Groot and Rocket and Drax and Gamorah and Star Lord. And equally as much is the array of side characters, villainous and kind, who are along for the ride. For me, it’s a turn-off-your-brain pleasure, but a pleasure nonetheless.

Captain America: The First Avenger – In some way, this Joe Johnston set-up film for The Avengers is as much spin-off as part of the central Avengers story. I like the WWII element. The villainy was not as powerful as I’d like. Red Skull is pretty much impossible to bring to life without making him either a joke or a bore. Somehow a kid’s imagination reading a comic makes him much more powerful. Same problem with Dr. Doom so far, by the way. As with Iron Man III, the ending was screwed up to get to the next movie. But I enjoyed the rest, so I forgive it (and always mention it).

Marvel’s The Avengers – Overrated for me… but still, enjoyable. It was a fresh take on the material. Delivered the best Hulk stuff ever. Nimble. Funny. It would have been much better for me had the ending delivered something other than target practice. The stakes just seemed minor… another movie with the world coming to an end. But enjoyable, charming and better not to think about it too much.

Iron Man – The movie that defined the MCU culture under Feige. I personally hated that a guy who kills Arabs as a business, then kills Arabs to save himself, and then goes back to kill Arabs for our amusement. I wanted an emotional arc. I get the idea of him as a selfish prick. Downey is a blast. But for me, he doesn’t become a man in this film. I know that it led to him and Captain America dancing… but it could have worked and been a better piece of writing.

Captain America: Civil War – Perhaps the most mature (perhaps overripe) Marvel movie. No one dies in this Civil War. The positions of the two sides aren’t intensely political. Got to roll out new characters or test out the solo viability of others. The whole thing felt like a holding pattern. The tarmac fight may be the best single action sequence in the entire 13 films. But… not enough for me to really like the film.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier – The most highly respected MCU film that I simply don’t connect with in the way that others do. It felt cheap (thought it wasn’t) with more car chases and bullets flying than any of the other films. It felt wildly melodramatic. And I have zero interest in Cap’s relationship with Bucky. I am over that. I was over that the minute it started. Leaves me 100% cold.

Thor – The pleasures of Asgard aside… this was a couple good jokes repeated 4 times each. Didn’t buy the relationship. Didn’t care for the monsters. Not enough use of the side characters. Waste of Natalie Portman. The fully thing is, I really like Chris Hemsworth as an actor. But as Thor… a bore. They should have stayed in Asgard. And I look forward to the upcoming Thor, which looks like an acid trip of a good time.

Avengers: Age of Ultron – Just a terrible sequel, aside from the addition of Paul Bettany as The Vision. Ultron had his moments, though it got schticky too often. Love both Elizabeth Olsen and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as actors – seriously a fan of the work of both and the human beings in real life – but both are disappointments in this film… just minor as could be. And what was so great about the Hulk in the first A movie was less so here. Cap and Iron Man as bickering parents bored me. Jeremy Renner is great, but he is not a super, and it felt like a retirement party for his character (which they didn’t have the guts to finalize). I mean, there is a lot of entertainment value that cannot be avoided in any movie this big… but if it never existed, no great loss for me.

The Incredible Hulk – This feels like a part of the past, though it is on the Marvel books. I like the Ang Lee Hulk more than most do. I thought this one just felt like a B-movie with some big effects. Cast is all good, but they can’t be bigger than the screenplay. Felt like there were some big ideas there that just never got room to take off.

Thor: The Dark World – This one just lost me in pretty much every way possible. The stakes in the relationship didn’t feel real. The stakes for Asgard didn’t feel real. It really felt like a sequel with nothing much to say on its own.

Iron Man 2 – The worst MCU film. Every mistake a sequel can make, starting with being even more arrogant than the arrogant lead character. They even wasted Mickey Rourke. I will avoid watching this any time it comes across my screens.

36 Responses to “Me, Ranking The Marvel Movies”

  1. Js partisan says:

    No time to expand, but time to list them!

    1) Guardians 2
    2) The Winter Soldier
    3) The Avengers
    4) Iron Man
    5) Guardians
    6) Civil War
    7) Ant-man
    8) Iron man 3
    9) Thor
    10) Doctor Strange
    11) The First Avenger
    12) Iron man 2
    13) The Incredible HULK
    13) The Dark World
    14) Fucking Ultron.

  2. Sideshow Bill says:

    Seeing Guardians 2 tomorrow but I’m surprised by how little I differ with Dave’s list. I would put Avengers and Winter Soldier higher. Iron Man 2 is at the bottom.
    I’m always surprised by how much I like Ant-Man when I see it on Starz. I always stop and watch it.

    I don’t know what I would put number one though. The ones I like are all on the same level. Doctor Strange really improved on second viewing. Maybe The Avengers.

  3. Mike says:

    I agree with Dave on the outliers being among the best, but Ant-Man is my absolute favorite.

  4. EtGuild2 says:

    Pretty much exactly how I feel, except I don’t really care for “Strange.” The narrative itself felt rushed to me. The one Marvel movie that could have actually done with 10 minutes of additional plotting and exposition. Also, forgettable main villain aside, Loki’s manipulation of “Thor 2″ was good storytelling elevated it above the first movie for me, which is near the bottom.

    This isn’t really your style, but if you’re taking requests I’d be interested in you doing, at some point, a similar assessment of Christopher Nolan’s filmography.

  5. Pete B says:

    1.) Guardians
    2.) Cap – First Avenger
    3.) Iron Man
    4.) Doctor Strange
    5.) Guardians 2
    6.) Thor
    7.) Avengers – Age of Ultron
    8.) Cap – Civil War
    9.) Cap – Winter Soldier
    10.) Thor – Dark World
    11.) Avengers
    12.) Iron Man 3
    13.) Iron Man 2
    14.) Ant-man
    15.) The Incredible Hulk

    The first 6 are pretty much locked into place, especially Guardians at 1 and the 1st Cap at 2.
    #7-13 could fluctuate depending on my mood.
    Ant-man comes in next to last because I’ve seen it 2 times and don’t remember any of it.
    The only nice thing I can say about Incredible is that there’s no poodles in it.

  6. YancySkancy says:

    I have no business doing a list, since I’m only halfway through Doctor Strange and still haven’t seen Age of Ultron, Thor: The Dark World and Guardians 2. But I’ll chime in to say my fave is First Avenger, followed by Iron Man 1 and 3, in one order or another, then Winter Soldier, Guardians, Ant Man. I’m a Whedon fan, and the Avengers was fun, but it seemed like there was too much at stake financially to let him do much more than hit certain marks, check off certain boxes, and meet certain expectations, with a few minor joys in the margins.

  7. Heather says:

    1)avengers
    2)guardians
    3)winter soldier
    4)civil war
    5)iron man
    6)_dr strange
    7)cap 1st avenger
    8)hulk-very underrated
    9)thor
    10)guardians 2
    11)ant man
    11)iron man2
    12) iron man 3-somehow unoccupied iron man suits are paper mache?
    13) thor 2
    14) ultron-such a waste

  8. Geoff says:

    With all due respect Dave, it makes about as much sense for you to put Doctor Strange at the top while sticking the original Iron Man in the middle as it did 30 years ago for the the late Roger Ebert to give the ORIGINAL Die Hard 2 stars (!) but then give Die Hard 2 4 stars…..as is the case with ‘Strange and Iron Man, the former is a fun ride for sure but it’s almost slavishly derivative of each beat that worked even better within its predecessor that made it more fresh. But to each his own and who better to emulate than Ebert?

    Here would be my list and yeah I would say the franchise began to decline creatively after Iron Man 3 – after that it became more about finding a director who could molded into the model best by Feige and Co rather than the best director to fit the actual material.

    1) Iron Man – still holds up and the almost incidental hire of Downey to play the lead will rank as one of those happy accidents of perfect casting to rival Michael J. Fox taking over Back to the Future from Eric Stoltz weeks into production or Harrison Ford taking over ‘Raiders from Tom Selleck at the last minute. This was also the Jon Favreu who wrote Swingers and directed Made taking that breezy energy into the superhero genre. Not only was the action fun but the chemistry between Downey and Paltrow was strong enough to carry them through at least three more movies.

    2) The Avengers – I can see the criticisms and the plot holes but man, you cannot diminish the juggling act that Whedon pulled off with this one…all of the obligatory quips were there (that would be commonplace in future MCU films) but the film still took time to breathe, let the characters interact and get to know each other, and pretty much every major character was relatable. And am I the only one who misses Agent Colson?

    3) Iron Man 3 – So much fun to watch Shane Black play with some big budget toys again and still what I think contains the best action sequence in the whole franchise: Iron Man saving all of those folks falling out of Air Force One. I can understand why hardcore fans were pissed about the Mandarin twist but I still like what Ben Kingsley did with the role.

    4) Thor – I never got Dave’s harsh criticism of this one at all. Hemsworth is perfectly cast and has a lot of fun with the role – he good chemistry with Portman and yes Branaugh overdoes the Dutch angles a but but he still made a fun, emotional ride out of source material that would have come off bad Monty Python in less hands.

    5) Ant-Man – not much to say but it was a lot of fun, who doesn’t want to see Paul Rudd step into this kind of role? Yes it felt a bit like water-down Edgar Wright but there were still plenty of Wright bits (loved The Cure shout-out) to make it go down smoothly.

    6) Captain America: The Winter Soldier – overpraised as a throwback to the ’70’s political thriller and a game-changer for the genre on the level of The Dark Knight, neither of which it came close to being. But remove the hyperbole and baggage that came with it, it’s a compelling action thriller with some fantastic action scenes. Samuel L. Jackson was the best he has been in this entire franchise, finally given more to do than just deliver exposition – I really liked that elevator scene when he tells Steve Rogers all about his father and the scene where he tries to evade HYDRA and the police speeding through DC is one of the best action sequences in the whole series.

    7) Doctor Strange – pretty fun and cool visuals but so derivative. One of the better casts and they’re given a lot of fun scenes, especially Mads Mikkelson and Tilda Swinton. But why the hell do you hire Benedict Cumberbatch who has one of the coolest, deepest voices out there and saddle him with a whiny fake American accent?? I get that the character is American in the comics but would it have been SUCH a stretch to just make him a world-renowned British surgeon living in New York City? At times, he sounded like a higher pitched House and even worse…and I have to thank the Honest Trailer for pointing this out….Han’s Gruber’s impression of an American in Die Hard. The film never wears out its welcome and the action scenes are still fun.

    8) Captain America: The First Avenger – I LOVED the first half of this movie and it brought me back to one my favorites in the genre by the same director, The Rocketeer. But man do I HATE those last 20 minutes – they basically robbed Joe Johnson of telling his complete story to make it a trailer for The Avengers, here’s hoping that Patty Jenkins and Geoff Johns didn’t fall into the same traps with Wonder Woman next month.

    9) Avengers: Age of Ultron – Still fun to see this cast together, especially that opening party scene. But still an overall let-down – Ultron was a pretty disappointing villain, the climax was completely overblown, and I still can’t quite understand what Vision actually DOES. Whedon pretty much explained it all during the press tour and since then – he was being asked to do about a half dozen different things with this movie and ended up not really succeeding at any of them.

    10) The Incredible Hulk – this one might actually be better than I remember because I remember kind of liking it….but I remember just being more distracting comparing each element to the previous Hulk film which had just come out five years prior and with this comparison, you get a mixed bag. Norton is a much more engaging Bruce Banner than Bana was, Tim Roth does a much better job as a menacing villain than Josh Lucas did but Liv Tyler is just a step-down from Jennifer Connelly and William Hurt (who I would thought would destroy in this role) was not nearly as menacing nor as bad-ass as Sam Elliott (even with his mustache shaved off no less!) The action was better, the effects were better, the pacing was much better….but Abomination was more silly than scary to look at and the film didn’t even really have an ending, just a Easter Egg cameo with Robert Downey which had nothing to do with the rest of the film. I think if you took all of the disparate best parts of each Hulk film and combined them, you might have a pretty good movie.

    11) Guardians of the Galaxy – genuine let-down and I know I’m in the extreme minority saying that. The film had some cool visuals and Pratt is fun to watch but for me, the film just felt like it was never as exciting nor as funny as it tried to be. The only time I laughed out loud was Jackson Pollock line sorry.

    12) Iron Man 2 – pretty forgettable movie but I almost feel the need to defend it because I remember enjoying it when I first saw it…mainly because of the chemistry between Downey and Paltrow and that one standout action scene where he takes on Whiplash at the race track. But still a huge letdown from the first Iron Man, that diorama scene makes no sense, they completely wasted Sam Rockwell, and the scenes setting up the Avengers with Jackson and Johannsen were beyond clunky.

    12) Captain America: Civil War – some really good action scenes and some very good performances, probably the best one by Downey in any MCU film since the first Iron Man but….wow this was the FIRST MCU film to completely fail at something which was the MCU’s specialty: tone, consistency of tone. Almost all of these films are fun, breezy, and never wear out their welcome…..this film was a mess pure and simple, WAY over-stuffed with too many characters, too many subplots, and scenes that kind of work on their own but feel like they are from COMPLETELY different movies: the scene when Tony Stark meets and courts Peter Parker to sneak off to Germany to fight with the Avengers is fun but completely contradicts what the character states nicely a few scenes earlier of feeling regret that his actions caused the needless death of a promising young man….followed up by him recruiting a promising young man he doesn’t know into a situation that could endanger his life, HUH?! The film is constantly pulling itself into different directions: Cap wants to protect his “friend” but literally RIGHT after this so-called friend tried to murder several of his other friends?? And the whole ending completely cops out with a cutesy cameo from Stan Lee ensuring the audience is not even given 30 seconds to let Rhodey’s recovery set in….and a letter from Steve to Tony telling him that EVERYTHING is going to be ok between them no matter what. There’s way more than that but I’ll leave it that – the film has all of the same narrative issues and pacing problems that Batman V Superman did, it’s just funnier.

  9. Triple Option says:

    I didn’t see Thor 2 or Dr Strange. No other reason than bad timing, I suppose. Some of these films were a bit hard to rank because I liked certain things in certain films but to put, say, the charm of Thor above the wise cracks of the first Guardians, just sorta depends on which day of the week for me. Winter Soldier was a complete solid thriller, (minus one reveal that was too cliche), which I put at #2 but in many ways the relationships of the first Cap America movie made it a better film for me because the framework wasn’t so locked in by genre/color by numbers, for lack of a better term.

    The first Guardians and Iron Man were just entertainment for me. Which is fine but they are less memorable for me since the themes, which are so prominent in some other superhero films, (e.g. X2, Spidey II, TDK), and yes, other films outside of MCU shouldn’t fairly be included, but it’s hard not to measure the 13 eligible films when memory cannot be removed from a film’s expectation and relative level of enjoyment. In other words, I’m trying to rank them on what I thought of each film at the time of viewing and against others in the MCU domain, but to not judge The Incredible Hulk’s origin story as if Batman Begins never came out would be impossible for me to do. In my defense, I’m sure I wouldn’t have loved Hulk either way, but I understand my overall perception, though not exactly quantified for each of the films here, has undoubtedly been skewed.

    1 The Avengers
    2 The Winter Soldier
    3 Civil War
    4 Thor
    5 Cap America 1, The First Avenger
    6 Ant-man
    7 Guardians
    8 Iron Man

    ——-Meh Line ——–
    9 Guardians 2
    10 Ultron.
    11 Iron man 3
    12 The Incredible HULK
    13 Iron man 2

  10. Hcat says:

    I wanna play but don’t care for this particular game so….

    1) Aliens, so tough to choose between the two obvious contenders, but man is this a ride, first R rated film I saw in the theater (while Alien was the first R I saw at home), just a seminal theatrical experience that rivaled Star Wars and surpassed Raising Arizona. Its interesting revisiting it because I remember it being just non stop action and yet it does take its time to get started but there is not a wasted minute on screen. The characters are archetypes but that is sort of the point, And even though you have met these people in other movies you still have great affection for them and their deaths are felt. Weaver is just phenomenal, expanding Ripley from where she left off so the survival instincts start earlier.

    2) Alien, Always amazed at how well this film takes it time, it establishes the world, and the people who inhabit it and each death is felt. Coming at the tail end of the seventies this fits the profile of a disaster movie yet works the claustrophobia better than anything else in the genre save for maybe the latter half of Jaws. And one of the first space films I can recall that doesnt treat starships as airplanes but properly as submarines.

    3) Covenent, at least where I hope it lands

    4) Alien3, This like most third films plays like a greatest hits of the first two (Ripley playing the Cassandra role, enclosed space with minimal weapons, lower classes deemed expendable), Weaver does all the heavy lifting and most of the supporting actors are simply lambs for the slaughter, but the tension does tighten the stomach and they do bring this to a satisfying conclusion where she is accepts that she is locked in an eternal struggle with this creature.

    5) Prometheus, Bites off so much more than it can chew, Have to see it again to really form a solid opinion but as I remember the action sequences seemed inserted just to have something happen and the script needed about two more drafts to make sense. But still a great cast and I need to take another look to see if it was as confused as I remember.

    6) Resurrection, What a mess, I am onboard with the cloning and bringing Ripley back with some of the Alien DNA in her to fully connect her with the beast, but like everything else in the film all interesting ideas are formed and then instantly shedded like snakeskin. The action is undercut both by the effects which were computer rather than practical making the aliens loose their sense of weight and some of their menace, they were much more gremliny than the majestic killing machines of the previous films. And dear god the mercinaries, what a bunch of clowns. The idea of having her thrown in with a bunch of lowlifes who delivered human cargo (and a revolutionary android) is a good way to go. But when Whedon decided to make them a quipy squad of pseudo outlaws he sunk whatever tension the movie could build. This type of thing would work fine when he revisited it in Firefly but they are completely out of place in an Alien film. There ship is named THE BETTY for chrissakes.

  11. David Poland says:

    Hcat… I often quote Manohla Dargis on Alien 3, back then, when she saw a big ol’ AIDS metaphor in play. Made perfect sense. The only way it makes sense. Fincher denies it though.

  12. Hcat says:

    I remember people thinking Coppola’s Dracula would have a comment on AIDS as well. I think people were wondering when it would finally be addressed by the larger culture.

    As for Alien3 I always thought it fell victim to The Two Jakes syndrome where you had a perfectly fine movie dwarfed by the genius that preceded it. Though since it’s science fiction it might be better termed 2010 disease.

  13. Mike says:

    I think it’s impossible to understand Aliens 3 without understanding what original director Vincent Ward had planned, with a space station made of wood and inhabited by the equivalent of medieval monks. When the alien shows up and starts going crazy, they feel this is the physical manifestation of the devil, testing their faith.

    Fincher’s movie was probably doomed when they decided to keep some of that and ditch other parts, but I have a soft spot in my heart for that movie. Charles S. Dutton can do no wrong.

  14. Triple Option says:

    Mike wrote: original director Vincent Ward had planned, with a space station made of wood and inhabited by the equivalent of medieval monks. When the alien shows up and starts going crazy, they feel this is the physical manifestation of the devil, testing their faith.”

    That premise sounds quite intriguing and could’ve added depth to a film series that was on the verge of becoming one of those redundant slasher franchises w/the “now serving” number after the title, do you know why that was scrapped and director replaced? Any idea how long before they started physical production?

  15. Ray Pride says:

    That’s a very long story… then there’s the William Gibson Alien 3 script, yet another detour.

  16. Mike says:

    My remembrance was that they had built sets and weren’t too far from filming when they fired him. I think Fox got cold feet about Ward’s unique vision, hence turning the monks into prisoners.

    You can find the script and some preproduction art online.

  17. Sideshow Bill says:

    There’s a great book called The Greatest Sci-Fi Movies Never Made, by David Hughes, that covers in depth the Alien 3 saga. I remember following it in Starlog/Fangoria, month to month, never knowing what was going on (thank you, internet). I even think I saw the original teaser trailer before something, where they implied the aliens were coming to Earth.

    The Vincent Ward idea has always fascinated me. I would have been something to see. I hate what they did to Newt and Hicks but I also have a soft spot for Alien 3. It’s weird and dark and works, in it’s own way.

    Vincent Ward. Man, I LOVED The Navigator. Haven’t seen it in eons. I wonder if it’s even on DVD/BR.

  18. Sideshow Bill says:

    HCat wrote:

    “Aliens, so tough to choose between the two obvious contenders, but man is this a ride, first R rated film I saw in the theater (while Alien was the first R I saw at home), just a seminal theatrical experience that rivaled Star Wars and surpassed Raising Arizona.”

    Aliens and Raising Arizona were also seminal for me. I had never, ever laughed as hard at a movie than I did at Raising Arizona. I don’t know that I’ve ever laughed as hard since, and that was a good 30 years ago (*frowny face*) It was the perfect early Summer night, school was out and I was ready for something different. It delivered.

    I remember literally getting chills when the Aliens title appeared on screen. I had been waiting so long for it. I still get chills.

  19. Hcat says:

    I got out voted by friends on what we would see that night and we ended up in ‘my demon lover’ which is likely the first and last time any of you will hear mention of that movie, when we were leaving the next showing of Arizona was just starting so I steered the group into that we had to leave about ten minutes before the end so the parents could pick us up but even without the absolute full effect I fell in love. Even though I saw about every comedy that came out in the eighties that was above and beyond and is the exact high I think we chase each time we enter a theater.

  20. Mike says:

    I also loved The Navigator. I eventually found it on some foreign region-free DVD on eBay (I think). It was well worth revisiting. Such a strange, wonderfully bizarre little film.

  21. Ray Pride says:

    Ward’s 1998 What Dreams May Come is also full of small marvelous moments.

  22. leahnz says:

    vincent’s had a lot to say about alien III, and rightly so… the rug gets pulled out from under you, you usually fall on your ass, it makes you grumpy

    this page has a fairly good synopsis of ward and fesano’s screenplay (fused with twohy’s previous rejected prison planet version to became the craptastic fincher flick – which viewed now in hindsight and graded on a curve is an overwrought, melodramatic mess but better than most shitshows today i suppose, in line with hcat’s comment above)

    http://avp.wikia.com/wiki/Alien_III_(Vincent_Ward)

    (also, we are not ‘foreign’ haha)

  23. Js partisan says:

    Don’t care particularly for said poster, so I’m taking the piss!

    1) Predator… Watched Aliens, decided it could use more chain gun!
    2) Predators 2… Breakdancing Predators, better than anything, in any aliens film.
    3) Predators… The Brody plays.
    4) 2018 Predator reboot… Already better than Covenant!
    5) Aliens… Cameron created a great genre, and the world is better for it.
    6) Alien… Overwraught, but still a fine film, with a weird merkin.
    7) AVP… Predators need friends!
    8) AVP 2… Predators get pissed at small town.
    9) Resurrection… Fuck this movie, and it’s destruction of fucking Africa. Seriously. It did lead to Serenity, so that’s a plus.
    10) Alien3… The movie, that squandered, the biggest fucking lead, in cinema history. No film, has ever shat on fan goodwill more, and no film deserves to be wiped from history, then this piece of shit film.
    11) Fucking Prometheus… Shit.
    12) Fucking Convenant… Louder, sticky, and browner shit. Still fucking shit. Get ready to fucking bomb, Sir Ridley! Newt… Will… Return!

  24. leahnz says:

    what are you talking about even

    but this,

    “6) Alien…Overwraught,…”

    apart from that i just used this word above, how on earth (or in space or lv426) is ‘alien’ “overwrought” – it’s like the anti-overwrought. a simple story well told

    “Newt…Will…Return!”
    is the blomkamp one still going ahead now, set after “aliens” and ignoring the rest, or has that been discontinued for the prequels? newt would be the logical protag

  25. Stella's Boy says:

    Someone clearly doesn’t get those films. Prometheus > every MCU movie. But hey different strokes right JS.

  26. Geoff says:

    Yeeaah put the keyboard down JS sometimes – that was some Trump-level incoherent right there.

  27. Pete B says:

    “Prometheus > every MCU movie.”

    Did you actually see Prometheus?

  28. Stella's Boy says:

    Yes I did Pete, more than once, and I prefer it to every single MCU movie I have seen, which do less than nothing for me.

  29. Triple Option says:

    Thanks for the Aliens III tips. I’ll hear about projects getting re-tooled during the development process to be more of a carbon copy of what’s preceded it, even if what came first wasn’t that successful. Really makes me wonder why these execs going into entertainment, I know the answer to that but these narcissists never accept blame when something’s their fault, why not make the original project and pawn it off on mktg or the filmmakers if it doesn’t deliver? Again, rhetorical but it’d be so nice if that were the case.

  30. Pete B says:

    Glad you enjoyed it Stella. I saw it at one of those 12:01am previews and walked out extremely disappointed. Seemed like it was a non-stop barrage of supposedly smart people making really stupid decisions.

    I think the folks at Honest Trailers summed up my feelings nicely.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBaKqOMGPWc

  31. Stella's Boy says:

    Pete I certainly didn’t say it’s perfect or the best film of the year, and I am perfectly aware of the Honest Trailer as well as all of the criticism. I still prefer it to every MCU movie I have seen.

  32. hcat says:

    An incomplete masterpiece is often better than a complete waste of time.

    Now as for the Predators the third is actually the finest one, I was pleasantly surprised at how well it played given its dangerous game ten little Indians set up, looking forward to the next one as well. But the second one, ooph, that’s the let down that you claim Alien 3 is. Placing them in an urban environment is the logical next step and had a ton of possibilities, all of them lost by terrible perfs from some great actors (or at least some great scenery chewers)and a bargain basement director (though P2 wasn’t even his biggest screw-up).

    The AVPs, well, never saw them as they just looked like a cash in blasphemy. We finally get to see Aliens on earth and they are demoted to Jason Voorhees level threat hiding in dark hallways and jumping at you in the woods? A proper Alien reaches Earth should play like a World War Z Armageddon scenerio, not chomping angsty teens in an affordable Canadian shooting location.

  33. hcat says:

    Though Prometheus does represent a pattern that Ridley has of his reach exceeding his grasp or whatever that phrase is.

    Alien is exquisite, but that might be because it is not as heavy of a lift as Prometheus or Blade Runner.

    While I really enjoy Kingdom of Heaven and American Gangster I feel a little annoyance while I watch them (and even the directors cuts) that while fantastic, they had the potential to be among the all time great films that didn’t quite get there.

  34. Js partisan says:

    Leave it to a Boy and Geoff, to miss the taking the piss part of the post, and hcat, totally getting it. Thanks, hcat.

    Boy, you once again, are being an asshole, in order to prove your master hypothesis, that I am an asshole. That’s a dick responae, and it ignores what I shared with you… Like a week ago! If you love a piece of shit, a piece of empty headed philosophy, like Prometheus… Then good for you. Someone got something out of it, and that’s a good thing. You, trying to defend, as if it makes you superior, ignores how goody that is.

    Leah, oh god know. Everything is just… So… Much. I love that movie, but come on.

  35. Stella's Boy says:

    Actually we are in total agreement JS. I am not acting superior at all. I said I know all about the criticism of Prometheus and the Honest Trailer. I also said that I am not claiming it’s a great film. I just happen to like it more than every MCU movie I’ve seen. There’s a world of difference. And you continue to act like an asshole. But hey if you’re good at something….

  36. Js partisan says:

    Yes, I’m the asshole, and you respond like that? Yeah… No.

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