MCN Columnists
Mike Wilmington

By Mike Wilmington Wilmington@moviecitynews.com

Wilmington on Movies: Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

TIM AND ERIC’S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE (One Half Star)
U.S.: Tim Heidecker-Eric Wareheim, 2012

I have just one thing to say about this sorry excuse for a movie — this nauseatingly taste-challenged, almost putrefyingly preposterous goulash of scatological gags, failed nonsense, barf jokes, poop jokes, piddle jokes, jokes that make you want to barf, poop and piddle — one thing to say about this inanely unfunny, deliberately misdirected or undirected farce about two nincompoops named Tim and Eric (played with zero zest by the cult comedy writer-directors Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, of the prize-winning, well-regarded web series “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!”), who blow a billion dollars of mob money (the Schlaaang Mob, run by Robert Loggia as demented gangster Tommy Schlaaang and William Atherton as right-hand crook Earle Swinter) spending it all on a moronic movie, starring an inept Johnny Depp impersonator (Ronnie Rodriguez), and are consequently marked for either full psyment of the squandered billion or a double-whack by the Schlaaang gang… but who manage to escape to the heartland and the sleazily ramshackle and falling-apart-at-the-seams Swallow Valley Shopping Mall –a bankrupt commercial “mecca” whose gallery of failing schlock shops are a sure cure for shopaholics — a hellhole inhabited by more idiots and a wolf or two, including the uncredited John C. Reilly as the affably deranged halfwit Taquito, the uncredited Will Ferrell as the stomach-churning con guy Damien Weebs, the uncredited Zach Galifianakis as the rustic simpleton Jim Joe Kelly (at least I think he was a rustic simpleton), Jeff Goldblum as “Chef” Goldblum, Twink Caplan as the strong-stomached love interest Katie, some poor shmo who owns a boutique that sells used toilet paper (this is not a joke), and the uncredited Bozo McWhizzy, in a cameo appearance as a talking hemorrhoid (this is) — all of whom should have refused credit but all of whom nonetheless take part courageously in this less than socko if mind-bogglingly daring entertainment in a series of quasi-comedy scenes so lacking in comedy that they seemed to have been dreamed up by the Society for the Prevention of Laughter for a semi-annual telethon on stamping out humor — a mind-boggling fiasco that sometimes made me feel as I’d been shrunk to the size of The Incredible Shrinking Man and dropped into a spittoon… in any case, I have zero stars and, as I said a while back, one word for the flabbergasting dreck that is Bill & Ted’s Billion Dollar Movie (excuse me, Tim and Eric’s Excellent Adventure, er Billion Dollar Movie).

Awful.

One Response to “Wilmington on Movies: Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie”

  1. Kevin says:

    You suck. Go watch Lorax with the rest of the baby boys.

Leave a Reply

Wilmington

Johanna Lynch on: Wilmington on DVDs: The File on Thelma Jordon; Adua and her Friends; Bullet to the Head

【14時までのご注文は即日発送】04-0017 03 48サイズ JILL STUART NEW YORK (ジルスチュアート ニュ on: Wilmington on DVDs: House of Wax (1953); After Earth; The Purge

【最安値に挑戦!】 ダイキン SSRN112BD4馬力相当 天井埋込カセット形 マルチフロ on: Wilmington on DVDs: House of Wax (1953); After Earth; The Purge

alain mikli アランミクリ メガネSTARCK EYES (スタルクアイズ) SH0001D カラー0053(正規品)【楽 on: Wilmington on DVDs: House of Wax (1953); After Earth; The Purge

【最安値に挑戦!】 ダイキンSZRN63BT2.5馬力相当 天井埋込カセット形 マルチフロ on: Wilmington on DVDs: House of Wax (1953); After Earth; The Purge

【着後レビューで送料無料】 エアージェイ 充電スタンド ホワイト SJS-2PWH 【RC on: Wilmington on DVDs: House of Wax (1953); After Earth; The Purge

Alessandra Olla アレサンドラ?オーラ カーブガラス 腕時計 レディース AO-990-2 クリスマス on: Wilmington on DVDs: House of Wax (1953); After Earth; The Purge

【ポイント最大26倍】ドクターシーラボ 2015年スペシャルバッグ<Dr.Ci:Labo/ on: Wilmington on DVDs: House of Wax (1953); After Earth; The Purge

12月誕生石 タンザナイト 幸運のクローバー ネックレス ホワイトゴールド on: Wilmington on DVDs: House of Wax (1953); After Earth; The Purge

best new dvd releases on: Wilmington on Movies and DVDs: Beauty and the Beast. Movie: Truesdale/Wise. DVD: Cocteau/Clement.

Quote Unquotesee all »

“I’m a governor in the Academy, so I cannot talk freely. We have meetings that are sometimes filled with disputes, but everything stays in the room. But I can tell you that this is a full industry issue. The Oscar nominations are for achievements at the top of someone’s career. It’s less an Academy issue than an employer issue. Employers have to hire with diversity for people to do content that can become choices for Academy members to nominate. I dispute the notion Academy members vote by race or gender. The choices presented to Academy voters are the choices presented by the industry, which elected which movies to make and which people to hire. The real change has to occur at the base. It’s a huge issue.”
~ Michael Mann On Diversity

“Jonas Mekas spoke a lot about ‘necessity’ last night at the Film Society. “Why do anything if it’s not needed,” he asked at one point. Mekas said that he created a publication, wrote for the Village Voice, founded an archive, because it was necessary.

“Somebody had to do it,” the 93 year old Mekas said, standing during the entire hourlong Q&A. He also spoke to the notion of curation: “If I see something I like, I don’t really enjoy it unless I can share it with others.”
~ Jonas Mekas, via Eugene Hernandez