By Mike Wilmington Wilmington@moviecitynews.com
Wilmington on DVDs: My Week with Marilyn, Happy Feet Two, The Three Musketeers, The Geisha Boy
And it’s filled with famous or somewhat famous show people, playing other people sometimes even more famous than they. Kenneth Branagh as Laurence Olivier (Marilyn‘s costar and director), Julia Ormond as Vivien Leigh (who played Marilyn’s role on stage with Larry), Dame Judi Dench as Dame Sybil Thorndike (Marilyn’s supporting actress), Dougray Scott as Arthur Miller (Marilyn‘s playwright husband), Karl Moffat as Jack Cardiff (Marilyn’s cinematographer), Zoe Wanamaker as Paula Strasberg (Marilyn’s maddening acting coach), Toby Jones as Arthur Jacobs (Marilyn‘s publicist), and finally Eddie Redmayne as Colin Clark (Marilyn‘s pal for a week and perhaps her spill-the-beans consort). They’re all good; the weakest link is Redmayne.
Then there’s Michelle Williams as Marilyn herself. I said above that nobody could catch Marilyn’s magic. No one can. But Michelle Williams comes close. She does a wonderful job, manages to get some of her body and a bit of her soul. And some of her blonde haired beauty, the kind gentlemen prefer. (Gentlemen, hah!)
Ah Marilyn, we hardly knew ye! Michelle (somehow I can’t bring myself to call her “Williams” or even “Ms. Williams“) understands some salient points about playing the goddess of all movie blondes (especially the dyed ones): that there’s something great about MM, but also something primally willful and confused, that in certain very basic respects, she never grew up, partly because we didn’t want her to. How could we? That’s what we loved about her, or thought we did.
Michelle also understands that to play Marilyn, the little girl/woman who won and lost the world, you have to somehow be unself-consciously self-conscious (or maybe vice versa). That’s Marilyn. That’s entertainment.
So this is a story about a lucky bloke who had a week with Marilyn. He, Colin, doesn’t seem like much, and there‘s not much else he’ll be remembered for. (Some documentaries maybe, or his dad). The fact that his role in this movie is so forgettable maybe suits that very unmemorability. I liked the picture, but then I had Marilyn fantasies too. Women may probably enjoy it as much as men, or more, though some will object to the movie’s cleverly veiled objectification. It’s not a show of much consequence really, but it’s well-done, it passes the time and it offers at least a little delight. The Prince and the Showgirl was an okay movie too and it offered a little more delight and a story-window on some legends. My Week with Marilyn gives us a second-hand, recreated portrait, a bit too respectful (too British?) to be great or near-great.
Meanwhile, if we want Marilyn, or if we want to know her at her best, we can simply turn on Some Like It Hot or Gentlemen Prefer Blondes or The Misfits or one of the others. That’s where she lives, where she‘ll live always. Runnin’ Wild, Lost control…Runnin‘ wild, Mighty bold! Feelin‘ gay, reckless too… The rest is just fun and games really, comedy and — though we don’t want to think about it too much — tragedy. Tragedy shimmying and playing a banjo.
The plot seemed a little dicey too: yet another story about a outsider penguin, this time non-dancing little Erik (Ava Acres), the pipsqueak progeny of Happy Feet’s tap-dancing’ star Mumble and his wife Gloria (voiced and sung by Pink, replacing the late Brittany Murphy) and about Erik’s attempt to find his place in a world full of vast dancing ensembles of emperor penguins, along with surly elephant seals, con artist puffins, and globally warmed ice-walls that go sliding off into the sea, trapping everybody on an ice and snow island with no food supply.
Like the first Happy Feet, which angered some anti-ecology types, Happy Feet Two has a strong pro-ecology theme, triggered by all that melting Antarctica ice. It says that all of us — penguins and we contentious humans too — have to pull together to survive: a message that should actually appeal to lots of us, and apparently did the last time out — except possibly anyone who might be mightily miffed by the movie’s global warming angle, and possibly by the sympathy shown to Latino penguins like fiery Ramon (Robin Williams), none of whom are deported to the South Pole.
Oh, and then there’s the two krill, Will the Krill (Brad Pitt) and Bill the Krill (Matt Damon), who break away from their swarm in the ocean and try to follow their dream (or Will’s dream that is, since Bill is a Will-follower), while engaging in pun-strewn badinage that includes the not-quite-priceless “one in a krillion.” There’s Mighty Sven the flying penguin, voiced by Hank Azaria in a pseudo-Scandinavian accent that reminded me a little of actor John Qualen‘s immortal “By Yabber! By Yimminy!” Swedes for John Ford. And did I say that Little Erik gets to sing a Puccini aria, like Pavarotti? (From “Tosca,” yet.)
All of that may sound overly complicated and pretty confusing and possibly annoying, especially for a feature cartoon that will count many simple pleasure-seeking tots among its audience. But, since I liked Happy Feet One so much, I stuck it out, contented myself with a few stray “wows” at the movie‘s incredible technical feats. And when Feet Two began to get really good — in the krill scenes and the one where Erik and his chums face a growly old elephant seal named Bryan the Beachmaster (very well voiced by Richard Carter) I was ready to enjoy myself. And I did.
By the way, when I began to warm up to Happy Feet Two (not globally, but emotionally), I also decided that Pitt and Damon, miscast as they both might initially seem as krill, do a great job playing lowest-food-chain organisms. , I tell you, these two guys: They krilled me. But, after all, they do both work in an industry where it’s krill or be krilled. (Okay, I’ll stop. But they don‘t.)
THE THREE MUSKETEERS 3D (Also Blu-ray/3D) (Two Stars)
U.S.: Paul W. S. Anderson, 2011 (Summit Entertainment)
Tous pour un, un pour tous.
Alexandre Dumas pere
“The Three Musketeers” — Alexandre Dumas pere’s quintessential swashbuckling adventure tale of three crack swordsmen and lusty comrades (Athos, Porthos and Aramis) and the hothead/country bumpkin (D’Artganan) whom they befriend and help turn into a world-class, sword-slashing, heart-stealing hero in the 17th century French court of Louis the effete 13th — has been filmed so many times (more than 40, according to the indefatigable IMDB) that you’d think by now they‘d know how to do it.
Certainly director Richard Lester (and writer George MacDonald Fraser) showed most of the way in their splendid and madly enjoyable 70s film-and-sequel The Three Musketeers and The Four Musketeers (1973-4), with Michael York as D’Artagnan and Oliver Reed (Sir Carol’s hellraising nephew), Frank Finlay (Olivier’s Iago) and Richard Chamberlain (Dr. Kildare) as Athos, Porthos and Aramis. (And Charlton Heston as the wily Cardinal Richelieu, Raquel Welch as a prat-falling Constance, and Faye Dunaway as the murderous Milady).
There have been rowdy, likable entertainments made of Dumas’ classic before, with Doug Fairbanks or his great admirer Gene Kelly as D’Artagnan (1921 and 1948), not to mention the 1939 Allan Dwan-directed romp with Don Ameche as D’Art and The Ritz Brothers as the Three Musketeers (or their counterfeits). Or Walt Disney‘s Mickey Donald and Goofy: The Three Musketeers. Or the little-seen versions from Argentina and Egypt. Or such almost certainly horrible examples of botching the book as Barbie and the Three Musketeers, Zorro and the Three Musketeers and The Sex Adventures of the Three Musketeers — a deranged-sounding movie that may have given new meaning to the Musketeers’ famous motto, “All for One and one for all!” (Or is it “One for all and all for one?”)
Shouldn’t they have gotten all the mistakes out of their system by now with “The Three Musketeers?”
Non! Non! Non! This new version has an estimable screenwriter: Andrew Davies of the Colin Firth–Jennifer Ehle Pride and Prejudice and other fine British literary TV and movie adaptations. It has an offbeat choice for director: Paul W. S. Anderson of the bizarre pop actioners Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat and Death Race. And it has a cast that’s at least interesting (if not particularly good). Yet this flabbergasting movie quickly zooms to heights of almost drunken excess and rampaging foolishness.
Anderson’s Three Musketeers opens with triple intro-teasers of the title trio, in a series of semi-James Bond scenes, set in Venice and top-heavy with super-mechanical gadgetry and weird armour and sadistic jokes that seem to belong in a 17th century Goldfinger. Then he gives us an anachronistic villainess Milady (roguish-eyed Milla Jovovich, looking as if she‘d rather be Lara Croft and acting like Catwoman in queenly finery), a fairly good but wasted Three Musketeers ensemble (Matthew Macfadyen as an urbane but troubled Athos, Ray Stevenson as a staunch Porthos and Luke Evans as an elegant Aramis), and one of the worst D‘Artagnans ever: teen dream Logan Lerman (of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief), who plays the role as if D’Artagnan were Dork’Tagnan, and Paris and Versailles were big fratboy parties.
Then the mincing Louis XIII (Freddie Fox) shows up, followed by his flirty queen (Juno Temple), her girlish maid Constance (Gabriella Wilde), the sinister Rochefort (Mads Mikkelsen, channeling Christopher Lee), the newly villanous Buckingham (Orlando Bloom, glam-hamming it up), and, of course, the wily Richelieu, played by Christoph Waltz of Inglourious Basterds, who supplies most of the style this show has to offer.
By the time the Musketeers and D’Artagnan are in full gear, tring to outrace Richelieu’s crew, and speed the Queen‘s diamonds back to Versailles, battling the bad guys over the English channel in a combination giant dirigible and full-masted flying galleon supposedly designed by Leonardo Da Vinci — a super-vessel that looks like Monty Python on morphine, the movie has gone beyond sanity into full-blown howling nonsense and what seems an Errol Flynn Sea Hawk-inspired booze nightmare. And since these are the kind of moviemakers who wouldn’t put a flying galleon in the air unless they could ram and crash it into a palace, a cathedral or at least an art gallery, you know what to expect.
“Although I work and seldom cease,” wrote our gal Dorothy Parker, “At Dumas pere and Duman fils./ I really can not make me care, for Duman fils and Dumas pere.” (“Fils” rhymes with “fleece,“ for you non-Francophiles and non-Parkerites.) I don’t agree. I like Dumas, bestseller factory though he may have been, and I’ve enjoyed his deathless, breathless adventure classic ever since I first read a version of it it in the Classics Illustrated series at nine or so. But Ms. Parker’s witty contempt might have been warranted had she stumbled into this movie and taken a gander at that galleon and got an eyeful of Milady Milla and watched Freddie Fox‘s Louis swishbuckling away and saw frat boy D‘Artagnan fence on the airship’s beam with the rotten Rochefort. (Where are the Ritz Brothers when you really need them?)
Not a good show. Non. But the movie is so damned outlandish it entertains you every once in a while through sheer unabashed nuttiness. Not very often though. But not your typical Three Musketeers, in any case. Non, non, non, mes amis! Tous pour tous. Un pour un. As we say (sometimes) in the Left Bank, while dueling with the villainous dogs of Cardinal Christoph, “Dumb for all and All for dumb!” (Or is it “All for dumb, and dumb for all?”)