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Kim Voynar

By Kim Voynar

Dear Santa: I Want This Book for Christmas

Hey y’all! Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, has a book coming out next year (you can pre-order it now). She’s one of my favorite reads; she’s totally screwed up in a way that’s very comforting to the rest of us who are also weird, because we read her stories and we think, “Hey, I’m not so bad!” No, seriously. She’s awesome and whenever I’m stressed out from dealing with the minutae of pre-production leading up to shooting Bunker, I can take a break, read Jenny’s latest misadventures with Victor, her long-patient husband, and laugh my ass off. Today’s entry nearly made me snort chai all over my MacBook. An excerpt:

In the elevator, Bob explained that this is a “transient hotel” and I was all, “Like a flophouse?” He just looked at me and I assumed maybe he didn’t know what a flophouse was, so I clarified, “You mean, like a crack house?” He was still quiet, so to fill the awkward silence I said, “Because this is the swankiest damn crack house I’ve ever been in.” Then more people got on the elevator and they stared at me and I assumed they were staring because they only heard the last part of our conversation, so I further clarified “Not that I’ve been in a lot of crack houses, I mean. I was just being polite.”

In hindsight, it’s possible that they staring at me because I was carrying a dead mouse and because the hotel porter had a hot-pink purse on his shoulder, and not because I was bragging about all the crack houses I hadn’t been to. It didn’t really matter though because we got off on the next floor, and then Bob explained that a “transient hotel” is one where people stay overnight. I explained that normal people just call that “a hotel.”

You can read the full entry right here, but you should not probably not drink your chai or coffee or vodka while reading it, lest you snort it all over your MacBook from laughing.

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“We don’t have any idea what the universe is. Wise people have always told us that this is proof you shouldn’t think, because thinking leads you nowhere. You just build over this huge construction of misunderstanding, which is culture. The history of culture is the history of the misunderstandings of great thinkers. So we always have to go back to zero and begin differently. And maybe in that way you have a chance not to understand but at least not to have further misunderstandings. Because this is the other side of this question—Am I really so brave to cancel all human culture? To stop admiring the beauty in human production? It’s very difficult to say no.”
~ László Krasznahorkai

“I have a license to carry in New York. Can you believe that? Nobody knows that, [Applause] somebody attacks, somebody attacks me, oh, they’re gonna be shot. Can you imagine? Somebody says, oh, it is Trump, he’s easy pickings what do you say? Right? Oh, boy. What was the famous movie? No. Remember, no remember where he went around and he sort of after his wife was hurt so badly and kill. What?  I — Honestly, Yeah, right, it’s true, but you have many of them. Famous movie. Somebody. You have many of them. Charles Bronson right the late great Charles Bronson name of the movie come on.  , remember that? Ah, we’re gonna cut you up, sir, we’re gonna cut you up, uh-huh.


One of the great movies. Charles Bronson, great, Charles Bronson. Great movies. Today you can’t make that movie because it’s not politically correct, right? It’s not politically correct. But could you imagine with Trump? Somebody says, oh, all these big monsters aren’t around he’s easy pickings and then shoot.”
~ Donald Trump