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Kim Voynar

By Kim Voynar Voynar@moviecitynews.com

Dear Internet: You are Depressing.

Dear Internet,

I think it’s time we had a little talk. Your negative attitude is seriously bringing me down.`Just this week, we had:

The London Riots, footage of which is beyond depressing. But even more depressing than the riots themselves: the overt racism and classism permeating many of the conversations happening in the comments sections of stories and opinion pieces on the riots. Oy.

Texas governor Rick Perry, He-Whose-Fabulous-Hair-Shall-Not-Be-Named, is apparently the anointed Presidential candidate of God, according to these people, who think they are modern-day prophets. Among other things, the various pastors who are involved with this group think that natural disasters are God’s judgement on the ungodly, that the emperor of Japan had sex with a sun goddess, and that the Democratic Party is run by Jezebel and a couple of lesser demons. And I’m not even making that up.

Casey Anthony is the most hated person in the US, beating out OJ Simpson and Paris Hilton. Quite an accomplishment.

Our House of Representatives appears to have been taken hostage by a pack of incompetent boobs. Oh wait, we elected those guys, didn’t we? On the plus side, Wall Street seems to be bouncing back a bit.

Sesame Street insists that, in spite of all appearances, Bert and Ernie are not now, and never have been, gay. They’re just BFFs who’ve been living together. For FOUR decades. Okay, whatever.

The US Postal service wants to lay off 120,000 people and cut benefits. No word of if they plan to reboot the Pony Express as a cost-saving measure.

In movie news, The Help is either Oscar-worthy, or it’s a racist film, and/or another example of Hollywood white-washing history. Guess I’ll have to go see it for myself and see what I think about that.

Fortunately, TIFF is coming up soon, so we’ll be able to bury our heads in films for a week and ignore the world. At least temporarily. Until then, Internet, if you could maybe lay off the bad news for a while, that would be great. Thanks.

One Response to “Dear Internet: You are Depressing.”

  1. Rob says:

    “But even more depressing than the riots themselves: the overt racism and classism permeating many of the conversations happening in the comments sections of stories and opinion pieces on the riots.”

    Lemme just head it off at the pass:

    “Harrumph blather thugs blah blah you Americans shouldn’t say anything about anything harrumph thugs thugs sneer we hate the darkies.”

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Aloha is the movie equivalent of a man in a donkey suit with a tree branch growing out of his forehead. I don’t know what the fuck this movie is. It feels like Cameron Crowe tried to make some Pynchonesque contemporary riff on Casablanca, then either or he or the studio chickened out halfway through and tried to turn it back into Jerry Maguire. But don’t confuse Aloha with hackwork. It’s more like a mad scientist had 10 beakers bubbling, and instead of unlocking cold fusion, he blew up his lab and melted an ear. I swear, this movie is like some bastard offspring of Casablanca, Inherent Vice, ‘Goosebumps,’ and ‘Baywatch Hawaii.’ My takeaway? Making movies is hard, yo.”
~ Vince Mancini

“We don’t defy the laws of physics: There are no flying men or cars in this movie. So it made sense to do it old-school: real vehicles and real human beings in the desert. We shot the movie more or less in continuity, because the cars and the characters get really banged up along the way. The biggest benefit of digital technology for me was that the cameras were smaller and much more agile, so you could put them anywhere. We also spent a huge amount of time on spatial awareness—making sure the viewer could follow the action and understand what was happening. There has to be a strong causal connection from one shot to the next, just the same way that in music, there has to be a connection from one note to the next. Otherwise it’s just noise. Too often, if you just cram a lot of stuff into the frame, you get the illusion of a fast pace. But there’s no coherence. It doesn’t flow. It comes off as headbanging music, and it can be exhausting. We storyboarded the movie before we had a script: We had 3,500 boards, which helps the cast and crew understand how everything is going to fit together. Movies are getting faster and faster. The Road Warrior had 1,200 cuts. This one has 2,700 cuts. You have to treat it like a symphony.”
~ George Miller

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