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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Oscar Minus Banksy = Epic Fail

If Steve Pond’s report is correct and The Academy has pretty much banned Banksy from appearing at The Oscars in disguise, one can only hang one’s head in wonder at how STUPID the leadership of The Academy is.

You know what they should be doing? They should be inviting Banksy to deface the walls next to red carpet (while pretending not to)… ask him to turn up with 4 or 5 others in monkey masks – including Jaime D’Cruz and Mr Brainwash – so no one knows who he is… and generally make a spectacle of himself. Why? Because he is one of the world’s greatest marketers to exactly the demographic that The Academy is desperately pandering to at every bloody turn… anyone under 40!

How tone deaf are they?

What is STILL one of the most talked about moments in Oscar history? The Streaker.

What other moments are talked about? Snow White & Rob Lowe, “You like me, you really like me,” Sacheen Littlefeather, Michael Moore being booed, Adrien Brody sexually harassing Halle Berry, etc, etc, etc.

We ACHE for someone to be lifelike and spirited and exciting during the show. I think Franco & Hathaway will have fun on stage, but the promos so far look like they are trying sooooo hard to be spontaneous. And The Academy is pissing away the Banksy opportunity?

No one will remember the 20,000th self-promotional event by The Black Eyed Sell Outs from the Super Bowl this year. Janet Jackson put the phrase “wardrobe malfunction” into the dictionary. Get it? You can’t create a great surprising controversial moment. But you can allow someone who actually has a lot of experience pulling one off to have his head.

What would be the most memorable image of Oscar in history? Banksy’s slash up of the award and/or ceremony. Give him a giant Oscar to work with. Give him an entire wall of the Hollywood and Highland complex. Step up, Academy! Come Monday morning, the stick comes out of your collective buttocks, removed along with the tux or ball gown, and all you will have are the memories. Allow something memorable to happen!


14 Responses to “Oscar Minus Banksy = Epic Fail”

  1. I have a feeling he wouldn’t show up because he, like most, probably realizes the boring Academy will give it to INSIDE JOB.

  2. LexG says:

    If they can’t land Banksy, they should bring out Chet Haze.

  3. witherholly says:

    The Hollywood/Highland Complex goes into increasing stages of lock-down leading up to the Oscars, so I say do it, as long as Banksy/Guetta/D’Cruz provide the security detail and the Acad gives them a playground, because I don’t think the stars and talent want to share their sandbox.

  4. berg says:

    It is my personal opinion that Banksy is more than one person, that Banksy is an art collective … I saw the film twice and all the way through it occurred to me, if Banksy is really a “real” person wouldn’t he sneak a shot of himself in the movie somewhere since nobody knows what he looks like? …. right now I would like to start the BBB movement, Bring Banksy Back

  5. scooterzz says:

    i think banksy should get j.t. leroy to accept the award for him….

  6. cadavra says:

    I agree with Danny: this is likely a moot discussion, since the odds of his winning are minimal at best.

  7. Eldrick says:

    Why are The Black Eyed Peas Sell Outs? They are a pop group, aren’t they allowed to play the SuperBowl? Didnt even know sell out was a term people still used.

  8. IOv3 says:

    David is apparently the arbiter of what pop groups should and should not do. They should not have used Autotune live but hell, I enjoyed it, because I just give them propers for doing something DIFFERENT at the Super Bowl. Seriously though, DAFT PUNK FOR 2012!

    Also, really, the problem with the Oscars is their inability to have fun. They had fun in 2000 and have not had any fun since even though they have tried. They tried hard but nothing has worked. Franco and Hathaway will try but it will fail because you can’t expect two young talents, in a room full of people who have or will employ them, to take the piss out of them.

    If the Academy wants this award show to survive. They will amp up the whimsy by THREE WHOLE POINTS!

  9. LexG says:

    IO: You know it, you hinted at it… preach it. There is but one way to liven up the Oscars:

    MC KEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give him his HEADSET and his PODIUM and UNLEASH THE KEYS.

  10. IOv3 says:

    BRING FORTH DON WAS, BRING FOR THE KEYS, AND BRING FORTH A FUN OSCAR SHOW! Seriously, this show needs a host not beholden to the industry. It’s not like they need Ricky Gervais but Conan seems like an obvious choice, if they let COCO BE COCO.

    That aside; they need to change the way they do the nominations. They need to make it an event in the same vein of the Grammy’s. Seriously, make it a Monday night show at 10/9 ct on ABC, get as many stars lined up for interviews, and stop this 6 in the morning WEST COAST BULLSHIT. The Oscars need to be special and it just seems like the Academy does not know how to generate that specialness.

  11. Eldrick says:

    thats a good call about the timing of the nominations IO.

  12. witherholly says:

    I don’t think so berg, humans don’t work that way, eventually they’d fight and it would all come to light, I think Banksy is of one person, but “owns” Brainwash, who keeps quiet and cured of his desire to videotape everything (if he ever had such a thing, per se) with the power of the finances that bind them, and that the art space(s) on LaBrea employ however many people are needed to do whatever they collectively and individually are doing. P.S. Nobody can still name or tie Guetta to an uber-successful thrift store Thierry suposedly owned; the only shot of signage reveals the word “The Vintage” followed by a third word blurred out or not visible. I’m not talking about World of T’s, which is known about, I’m talking about the one in the doc.

  13. Triple Option says:

    Black Eyed Peas were a totally different group pre-Fergie. Like The Roots, Tony Toni Tone, much funkier. Even when “The Duchess” came on board it looked like they might be more on the likes of Brand New Heavies. Elephunk of course was very popular which ended up having several songs remixed for radio play. I think many original fans were OK with this but then the gloss started to build up little by little and soon everything they were doing was just a derrivative of what they’d already done.

    In many ways it’s not their fault. Something underground becomes mainstream. Like MC Hammer in ’88. A few people are saying, “you gotta check this out!” and wishing the act would get more recognition, then their music is being danced to on Seasame Street to teach preschoolers their body parts. Is it their fault? No one feels like they asked for it, but then you can’t help to feel like they didn’t do anything to stop it, either.

  14. Reid says:

    You are right on the money with the way the Academy is blowing this opportunity, akin to telling Bjork there is a dress code. However, it’s likely we will feel the presence of Banksy at the ceremony, if not the actual man. I believe Franco will work him into his routine somehow, as they come from the same gene pool of performance art, talent, off-the-wall marketing, risk, and rebellious fun.

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