By David Poland firstname.lastname@example.org
5 Is The Stupidest Number
So is this the new Anne Thompson signature? 5 Reasons You’re A Fuck Up? I hope not, especially since Anne isn’t going to make it by playing Queen Bitch and whether it is her writing it or Anthony D’Alessandro, these two back-to-back pieces are abject failures.
“What went wrong” with Wall Street 2 is not a column… it’s barely a sentence. “A sequel that virtually no one wanted made by people who made it for the wrong reasons with an idea that was not fully hatched.”
It’s not the first. Won’t be the last. Has nothing to do with the future of studio dramas.
And if you are going do make over-the-top connections, you have to do the math. W didn’t do anything close to the box office that Wall Street 2 did. This doesn’t make Wall Street 2 a good choice, but you can’t be taken seriously when you write, “Stone was far more frugal with his George W. Bush biopic W., which cost $25 million and grossed about the same,” when the domestic numbers are $26m for one and $48m for the other domestically and $84m to $30m worldwide. Those are not “the same.”
Also the idea of comparing the process of getting The Town made and The Social Network made and Wall Street 2 just makes the author sound like the just got in from Southern Iowa. These things are not connected. Not remotely. And obviously, the box office is not connected to the box office gross of any of these films. In the long run, Sony will spend much more on P&A on TSN than Fox spent on WS2… irrelevant to this conversation.
Shia LeBouff fans not showing up is not a mistake… it’s just what happened. Wall Street 2 could easily have done $100 million domestic without “the millennials.”
A lengthy 133-minute running time didn’t help. Huh? Are we really arguing that 13 minutes between The Social Network (whose domestic gross, btw, will not likely be that much greater than WS2’s) and WS2 made a difference? Did the fact that The Blind Side, a drama which grossed $255m domestic ran 7 minutes shorter than Wall Street 2 make you think twice about this idiotic theory? Or did you just need 5 mistakes to for the movie into this idea of a feature.
Adults are tough critics. WHAT?!?! You mean like Eat Pray Love, which had a 37% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but did $80m domestic?
I was going to just not mention this column. I considered just doing a Twitter entry. But I feel a bad trend starting and better to try to help nip it in the bud now, before anyone self-destructs.
Trying to turn any story into a “5 Things” format is almost always a bad idea. But in this case, only 2 of the 5 arguments offered come close to being accurate. The idea of the film doing better in April… when a grand total of ZERO dramas grossed over $6 million this year and two dramas made more than $2 million in 2009 – State of Play with $37m domestic and The Soloist with $32m domestic – is based on nothing but “nyah, nyah, you shoulda done something else” and no reporting at all.
Stop the madness!