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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Speaking To The Irrelevance of 3D

amberheard3D490.jpg
Bulging males eyes (etc) aside, this image from Driving Angry needs no further dimensions to get attention. The situation is both maximized and MAXIMized to an effect as old as the first well-shaped leg and the male sense (false or real) that the woman attached to it might be in The Coalition of the Willing.

26 Responses to “Speaking To The Irrelevance of 3D”

  1. Stella's Boy says:

    Todd Farmer is awesome. That is all.

  2. a_loco says:

    I thought Drive Angry was gonna be another one of those “Nic Cage needs money” flicks (Bangkok Dangerous, Season of the Witch, etc.), but everything I’ve been hearing about it lately makes it sound AWESOME.

  3. SJRubinstein says:

    “Drive Angry” and the final “Harry Potter” are what I’m looking forward to in 2011. I’m sure there are other things, but “Drive Angry” is going to be fucking awesome.

  4. But if it was 3D, that door would be coming RIGHT OUT OF THE SCREEN!!!

  5. IOv2 says:

    If only it were her boobs. Sad Banner Walk Away.

  6. Kelby says:

    3d is like beef, if it says bio on the package I know I can eat it.

  7. David Poland says:

    You know, IO, in that 3D Playboy centerfold… nothing particularly 3D about the boobs… was all foreground and background that gave the scene depth. The human body is too subtle for anything less than a pointing part to have any 3D effect.

  8. IOv2 says:

    Well David, the best answer I can give you is, hopefully Roger Corman-esque beauties get more work in 3D films. Someone has to pull off a 3D boob shot before this is all said and done for the giggle inducing audience reaction alone.

  9. yancyskancy says:

    I think maybe you mean Russ Meyer-esque, IO. And didn’t he do a 3D flick once? Or did I dream that?
    I do remember seeing something like The Swinging Stewardesses in 3D many years ago, on a double bill with a Three Stooges 3D effort. This was in Evansville, Indiana, and it actually drew a pretty big crowd.

  10. LexG says:

    HEARD POWER. LOOOOOOOOOK AT HER.
    Only bummer is she’s wearing boots instead of heels. I never get the boot thing, be it from hookers, strippers, models, actresses, etc. Not even go-go boots. Heels only, ladies.

  11. IOv2 says:

    Yancy, you are indeed correct. I get those two confused all the time. Yes, Russ Meyer level boobs should do.
    Lex, heels are frakkin stupid. Seriously, boots all day, all night, and even on weekends. Nothing better than a woman wearing boots. http://www.celebsinlatex.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Rachel-Weisz-thigh-high-boots.jpg
    That’s what it’s about right there, sir.

  12. LexG says:

    No, it’s all about women’s exposed feet. IE, HOT.

  13. IOv2 says:

    Nah it’s all about the boots showing off the thighs, HOTTER!

  14. LexG says:

    Heels are more flattering to the legs, giving them shape and definition.

  15. IOv2 says:

    So do thigh high boots, Lex. You just have a foot fetish. I just dig the legs more than the feet, if I had to pick one or the other.

  16. Joe Straat says:

    Ugh. Feet.
    Anyway, I’m suddenly wanting to see the infamous transition shot from Brotherhood of the Wolf in 3-D…..

  17. Pete Grisham says:

    Tell me Poland, do you like your breasts “flat” too?
    And strangely, as much as I am andmirer of a nice pair of legs, it’s not them that stand out to me in that picture. Maybe at first and maybe because I’ve seen hotter legs but pretty soon it’s the color contrast and the sun kissed face that keeps the attention.

  18. jose says:

    MAD MEN!!!

  19. Blackcloud says:

    Who is she?

  20. LexG says:

    “She” is AMBER HEARD, and you should be BOWING with all the force you can muster, even if she’s a second-tier Lexette.
    She is mostly famous for being naked almost nonstop in just about everything she does, particularly THE INFORMERS, in which is she naked, being ogled, or having sex in literally every single moment she’s on screen. She also played Rogen’s jailbait high school girlfriend (GOOD IDEA ACROSS THE BOARD) in Pineapple Express, was the lead hot chick in the AWESOME Never Back Down.
    In The Stepfather remake, they went for the PG-13 rating, so the filmmakers compromised and put her in a string bikini in every single scene, and you can practically hear the DP breathing like Joe Spinell in MANIAC behind the lens, so lecherously is she filmed. She was also naked yet again in that fake-family movie with Duchovny and Demi Moore that just came out called The Joneses or The Judges or whatever it was. And she had a cameo in Zombieland as the hot chick Eisenberg was going to bang in the dorm who turned into a zombie at the last minute.
    And she had the lead in something called All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, which horror-comic type guys like LYT, Don Lewis, etc have been talking up since second-term Clinton, but I have NO IDEA what it is, and I don’t think it’s ever come out.

  21. Stella's Boy says:

    Heard is also the lead in Carpenter’s next movie, The Ward. I don’t remember her in Alpha Dog. She is the best thing about The Stepfather remake.

  22. Blackcloud says:

    She can take her clothes off, but can she act? Oh, who am I kidding, no one cares.

  23. Triple Option says:

    Lex, I can’t believe the scene in Vision Quest when Linda Fiorentino walked into the gym to see Modine and literally stopped practice when she was wearing that wispy skirt and cowboy boots didn’t have lasting impact on your adolescence or formative years.

  24. LexG says:

    I don’t think yancyskancy will check back into this thread, but TERESA PALMER who he’s been telling me about since Bedtime Stories is in Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
    She is like a bioengineered mix of KRISTEN STEWART and AMBER HEARD. But somehow when I saw the movie– maybe it’s because it’s Disney so they can’t really put her in LITTLE OUTFITS, or I was just grading her against K-STEW (aka HOTTEST WOMAN EVER), as I was watching it I was thinking she was only YEP.
    But now that I’ve done some GISing on the matter and in retrospect I’m thinking PALMER (I’d like to Palm Her if you know what I mean) is a full-on YEP YEP and should make a movie with AM-HEARD and K-STEW called LOLLIPOPS. GOOD IDEA.
    Also: VISION QUEST rules ALL, but never was that into Fiorentino. Too rapsy, a little too butch, and definitely TOO THREATENING.

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