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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB Wednesday, The Oscar Preeeeeeeeeee-Show

35 Responses to “BYOB Wednesday, The Oscar Preeeeeeeeeee-Show”

  1. bulldog68 says:

    Just getting my trailer fix and realized that Liam Neeson was in everyone of them. I know Nic Cage is trying to get out of death, but Liam is certainly no slouch, Chloe, Clash, A Team, After.Life, and voice work on Narnia all this year.
    Also, Dave has zero confidence that Prince of Persia will be hit, but gotta say, the latest trailer succeeds in giving it that PotC vibe, fun, family, effects, exotic locations. Is it too soon to start some summer prognosticating?

  2. LexG says:

    Speaking of trailers, Get Him to the Greek looks precisely half unfunny, half awesome, roughly the same ratio that Russell Brand sucks but Jonah Hill is a FUCKING GENIUS.
    The funniest image IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD is that distorted Spike Lee cam on Jonah’s mugging when he’s tripping balls at that party. Looks funny as hell.
    So does that movie where John C. Reilly plays a total sadsack who starts dating Nancy Loomis From Halloween but her kid is played by Jonah Hill.

  3. dietcock says:

    One thing I have never understood: the obsession with keeping the show under 3 hours and how, in the eyes of the pundits, the ability or failure to do so is somehow the ultimate referendum on how successful or entertaining the show is. First of all, from a financial perspective, don’t the Academy and the network make MORE money if the show goes long, since they sell more ads? And if they are, indeed, so obsessed with cutting the show length, why do they always include those multiple inane Chuck Workman clip montages? Why cut something potentially moving like the Irving Thalberg award to an actual Hollywood legend and not those? Boggles the mind.

  4. LexG says:

    Anyone got a link to the FEMALE PRESENTERS?
    Any good squack lined up? Usually a lot of good “material” during this show, if you know what I mean.

  5. LexG says:

    I am horny as fuck this week.
    My nutsack looks like the beach ball alien from DARK STAR.

  6. LexG says:

    K-STEW IS PRESENTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    K-STEW 4 EVER.

  7. doug r says:

    How can something alive basically be a balloon?

  8. a_loco says:

    “My nutsack looks like the beach ball alien from DARK STAR.”
    Roffle my falafel.

  9. dietcock-
    totally agree. It’s become like, the running joke that turned into a “but seriously, we’re not kidding. We really need to keep it under 3 hours.” It’s the middle that sags, that last hour is a ton of fun!
    Also, would you frigging GO on words with friends!?!? Jeeeeez….

  10. dietcock says:

    Changing the subject off of Lex G’s nuts…
    So I got the DVD of “The September Issue” and the first thing that pops up, before any trailers, is an actual Maybelline commercial. I’ve resigned myself to outside product commercials in movie theatres, but on a DVD? How much did Lion’s Gate get paid and is this a first? Curious.
    And Don — sorry, my iPod touch is on the fritz. Will continue when I get it fixed.

  11. Geoff says:

    Saw an advanced free screening of Hot Tub Time Machine, this week – really hilarious, funniest movie I have seen since Role Models, even though Paul Rudd has no role in it. IMHO, Paul Rudd makes every movie he is in ten times funnier, but John Cusack plays the Paul Rudd role which was originally played years ago by…..John Cusack.
    Rob Cordry and Craig Robinson finally get the break-out roles they have been inching towards for several year. Some tolerable gross-outs, nice gags about time paradoxes, ample nudity, nice usage of Crispin Glover…..a good time was had by all, check it out.

  12. BurmaShave says:

    you had me at “nice usage of Crispin Glover”

  13. scooterzz says:

    you lost me at “nice usage of crispin glover”

  14. scooterzz says:

    you lost me at “nice usage of crispin glover”

  15. scooterzz says:

    sorry ’bout the double…typepad is wonky again….

  16. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Lex the Reilly, Hill, Tomei film is CYRUS and there are scenes that you’re going to groove big time on. My favorite moment is when Hill wants to perform on his synth for his uneasy house guest Reilly. The epic song reminds me of the 9 minute song on Corey Feldman’s prog rock album. Hill stands behind the synth with a deathstare on Reilly as he moogs out in one of the weirdest and funniest scenes I’ve seen for a long time.

  17. Foamy Squirrel says:

    Corey Feldman did a prog rock album? Oh wow… my life was incomplete until now.

  18. LexG says:


  19. Stella's Boy says:

    Where’s all the promo for She’s Out of My League? Does it suck or something? I feel like six days before its release I was already bombarded with trailers and TV spots for Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Role Models, I Love You Man, etc… I haven’t seen anything for SOOML. Do I just watch the wrong channels? I like Jay Baruchel and had been looking forward to this one.

  20. LexG says:

    Baruchel RULES, but if the movie is (clearly from the trailers) set in Pittsburgh, how come it stars a bunch of L.A.-looking dudes who don’t have THICK ACCENTS?
    Even my beloved ADVENTURELAND had this issue: Pittsburgh has THE single THICKEST accent in AMERICA, yes THICKER THAN BOSTON, then they shoot these movies there on the cheap and cast is a bunch of New York snarksters straight out of a Woody Allen movie.

  21. Krazy Eyes says:

    I lived in Pittsburgh for a few years and the accent isn’t that bad — certainly not worse than Boston or parts of NYC. You just need to overlook the occasional “Yinz” every once in a while.

  22. Jeremy B says:

    Re: She’s Out of My League. It seems to have been a very targeted campaign — I’ve seen ads on USA and ComCen.
    What does the “M” in “MNSFW” stand for? It’s on after all, so I wouldn’t imagine NSFW needs a modifier other than “duh”.

  23. Cadavra says:

    “funniest movie I have seen since Role Models”
    Well, that certainly sells me!

  24. Chucky in Jersey says:

    That fracas between ABC and Cablevision in the New York metropolitan area is getting pretty ugly.
    If you’re gonna have an Oscar Night party in or near NYC make sure it’s at a place with DirecTV, Dish Network, Comcast, Time Warner Cable or Verizon Fios.

  25. Nick Rogers says:

    Jeremy: My guess would be “Maybe,” as in unsuitable at a daycare center but acceptable at a porn shop.

  26. EthanG says:

    Any doubt that “Avatar’s” audience is tapped and it won’t get an Oscar bounce should be erased by its incredible weekday numbers….Monday down just 1% over the previous week….Tuesday up 18% over the previous week…and Wednesday up a stunning 28% over the previous week. It’s leapt back into 2nd place overall and has a chance to reclaim the top spot over Shutter Island today…only the second film after “Titanic” to have a day at #1 after at least 75 days of release.
    And it looks like theatres have FINALLY converted enough 3D to handle two 3D movies thank god…Avatar is only losing 293 theatres this weekend…fewer than Wolfman, Tooth Fairy, Valentine’s Day, Percy Jackson, Eli, Paris With Love or Edge of Darkness.

  27. LexG says:

    Eh, saw it again in IMAX last Sunday and have changed my tune… The 3D looked MUCH better in that format that in WHATEVER that grubby, darkly lit 3D I saw it in the first time… it actually worked, it didn’t give me the usual migraine and nausea, and I didn’t even spend all 3 hours fucking with the glasses.
    I still say he should have said fuck the Navi and just eaten M-Rod’s asshole like a Dairy Queen Brazier.

  28. EthanG says:

    You’re not on the Saldana for Best Acrtress train Lex?
    I still think performance wise it goes: 1. Gabby Sidibe 2. Mulligan 3. Streep 4. Saldana 5. Mirren 6. Bullock
    There is NO way Brad Pitt’s performance in Ben Button was stronger than Saldana’s and I think last year’s Best Actor race is comparably strong to this year’s Best Actress.

  29. LexG says:

    Saldana looks hot in THE LOSERS in those lingerie clips, but maybe it’s just because I was a HUGE Crossroads fan, but she’s kind of old news to me… been seeing her in stuff for TEN YEARS now so not like she’s the new ingenue or anything. Beautiful, obviously, of course.
    Also, it’s the old Andy Serkis question again: Is it REALLY a “performance” in the same way as Mulligan/Bullock/Streep/Sidibe/Mirren IF the actress isn’t even onscreen once in the movie, just either hidden under makeup, CGI’d and doing basically voicework? I intentionally DIDN’T read much on how Cameron achieved it with Saldana and the other Navi actors… Is it like Mocap, where Saldana wasn’t even THERE physically, but in some warehouse getting digitized? Did she ever even put on a “costume” and run around the sets, or is just her digitized image projected in every single moment she’s on screen? It’s a tribute to the effect that I couldn’t tell… But it’d kinda be like nominated Ray Winstone for Beowolf, no?

  30. BurmaShave says:

    STRIKING DISTANCE sort of does what Lex wants. Even if it’s really just people speaking in an accent more than a Pittsburghese voice. Farina god love him can never leave the Chicago behind. Nevertheless, that’s a movie I continue to embrace. The Second Miracle of Rowdy Herrington.

  31. LexG says:

    Movie RULES. Also: ATKINS POWER.

  32. LYT says:

    “But it’d kinda be like nominated Ray Winstone for Beowolf, no?”
    No. Because nobody EVER wanted to bone Ray Winstone in Beowulf.
    I shouldn’t have to explain that part.

  33. aris says:

    When was the last time Tom Hanks acted in anything worth a damn? Seriously. Christ.

  34. LexG says:


Quote Unquotesee all »

“We don’t have any idea what the universe is. Wise people have always told us that this is proof you shouldn’t think, because thinking leads you nowhere. You just build over this huge construction of misunderstanding, which is culture. The history of culture is the history of the misunderstandings of great thinkers. So we always have to go back to zero and begin differently. And maybe in that way you have a chance not to understand but at least not to have further misunderstandings. Because this is the other side of this question—Am I really so brave to cancel all human culture? To stop admiring the beauty in human production? It’s very difficult to say no.”
~ László Krasznahorkai

“I have a license to carry in New York. Can you believe that? Nobody knows that, [Applause] somebody attacks, somebody attacks me, oh, they’re gonna be shot. Can you imagine? Somebody says, oh, it is Trump, he’s easy pickings what do you say? Right? Oh, boy. What was the famous movie? No. Remember, no remember where he went around and he sort of after his wife was hurt so badly and kill. What?  I — Honestly, Yeah, right, it’s true, but you have many of them. Famous movie. Somebody. You have many of them. Charles Bronson right the late great Charles Bronson name of the movie come on.  , remember that? Ah, we’re gonna cut you up, sir, we’re gonna cut you up, uh-huh.


One of the great movies. Charles Bronson, great, Charles Bronson. Great movies. Today you can’t make that movie because it’s not politically correct, right? It’s not politically correct. But could you imagine with Trump? Somebody says, oh, all these big monsters aren’t around he’s easy pickings and then shoot.”
~ Donald Trump