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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

BYOB – Tues32310

62 Responses to “BYOB – Tues32310”

  1. Hopscotch says:

    Anyone want to place bets that Bridges might be the third person to win back-to-back Oscars for Best Actor? I’m trying to think of the field now. The Bridges love could carry on until next March.

  2. Boonwell says:

    Is TRON really gonna be that good?

  3. rossers says:

    Haha… I would hope he’d be nominated for Tron over true grit

  4. EthanG says:

    Interesting tracking this week…”Hot Tub Time Machine” is near $25 million, very high for an MGM production these days. “How to Train Your Dragon” is around $35 million….VERY low for a Dreamworks animation prodution…a good 25 mil below “Monsters vs Aliens” last year, despite being the first animated movie released in almost four months.

  5. hcat says:

    I was actually rooting that Bridges would loose this year just for the sementry of having Rooster Cogburn bring a late Oscar to a Hollywood fixture.

  6. LexG says:

    Anyone watch IDOL tonight? (Of course not.)
    MILEY POWER. BOW. LAST SONG POWER.
    And what’s with Miley Cyrus warranting a WEDNESDAY RELEASE? Is Morris Chestnutt the love interest?

  7. Stella's Boy says:

    Actually Lex I believe it’s Boris Kodjoe. Regarding The Last Song, Dear John didn’t look all that interesting to me, but it looked like a real film. The Last Song resembles nothing of the sort. That dialogue, the pitiful and strained attempts at acting, the general sense of forced mawkishness, it looks like something Lifetime would pass on without hesitation.

  8. York "Budd" Durden says:

    Lex, I just read your same lame joke on HE only seconds before reading it here. Please “retire” again.

  9. LexG says:

    York, if you go to my Twitter you can read it a HILARIOUS third time… I am all about flooding the marketplace, and it’s not my fault you don’t get the HILARITY of me pointing out the absurdity of whitebread Miley getting a Wednesday release, traditionally the woefully un-PC pattern for African-American themed films dating back 20 years now. But I bet you didn’t know that.
    Usually if you have to explain a joke they say you failed; But in this case it just means that Bud Yorkin or whoever (good reference) didn’t get it. But by ALL MEANS, continue to clock in two or three times a month ONLY to address my posts, it totally sells the idea that I’m not worth paying attention to.

  10. berg says:

    Lex – have you seen Chloe? J Moore and A Seyfried get it on like Sarandon and Deneuve in The Hunger

  11. anghus says:

    i saw repo man and enjoyed the hell out of it. it felt like a movie that would have starred van damme in the mid 90’s.
    wonderfully violent.

  12. Stella's Boy says:

    Like Cyborg or Timecop, JCVD classics?

  13. Chucky in Jersey says:

    @LexG: Disney wants all the tweens to see “The Last Song” before Easter Sunday, which this year is 4/4. You could figure it out if only you get your pr!(k out of your a*se and turn off caps lock.

  14. Blackcloud says:

    “How to Train Your Dragon” 3D and IMAX tix seem to be running a couple dollars more than “Alice” 3D IMAX tickets. Anyone know why? Is that a studio thing or is there some other reason?

  15. The Big Perm says:

    Hey, I thought Hot Blog was supposed to be getting Lex’s “C” material while he used the great stuff for Hollywood Elsewhere. Does Jeff Wells know he’s getting used goods? And can anyone tell the difference between Lex’s C and A material because I can’t.

  16. doug r says:

    That tracking for Dragon is off. It’s the one picture my daughter mentions every time she sees some kind of marketing for it. Which is everywhere, BTW.

  17. Stella's Boy says:

    I’m thinking about taking my two-and-a-half year-old to see How to Train Your Dragon (or is it supposed to be too much for that age to handle?). I haven’t taken him to a movie since a Mommy/Daddy & Me matinee two years ago. Any tips from other parents out there? My fear of course is that we get there before the movie starts and he refuses to sit still. I don’t want to waste $20 in case he just wants to run around like crazy in the theater. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

  18. christian says:

    Lex, do you ever go to the American Idol/Disney sites and start going off on ROLLING THUNDER or NEW JACK CITY? That would be awesome.

  19. hcat says:

    They have safeguards on the Disney and Idol sites against Gentlemen like Lex.

  20. Chucky in Jersey says:

    The Den of Geek! sums up all the crap we Hot Bloggers dig up time and time again.

  21. jeffmcm says:

    Chucky, I look forward to your new crusades against Martin Lawrence and Colin Firth. Also, G-& 81355 you for your delightful typographic discretion!

  22. LexG says:

    Berg, I will be seeing CHLOE six times this weekend, but these reports of clam-grinding are both infinitely arousing and yet also a little sad.
    Seyfried is my third- or fourth-favorite actress, but she generally fulfills my fantasy type of DEMURE AND WIDE EYED AND SUNNY AND EARNEST, so seeing her shmack box with Grandma Moore gives me a mixed reaction. And even Julianne Moore on some talk show last week could barely describe the movie with a straight face, something like “It’s that old chestnut about my character thinking her husband’s cheating, so she HIRES A HOOKER TO PROVE IT, then also gets turned on by the chick.”
    I have said this before, but this could only be the product of a LONG-SUFFERING MARRIED MAN (Egoyan) who needs to live vicariously through this shit. Kind of like 70-year-old Kubrick ordering up 150 Eastern Bloc supermodels to his mansion in EYES WIDE SHUT then passing it off to his 60-year-old wife as art. Like, be a little more blatant about it.
    Plus even in THE RUNAWAYS when the gals hook up… I don’t know, it’s an element of women I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, how they’re OK with so casually going down on one of their pals then playing it off like it’s good times for all. That’d be like any of you guys hanging around with boys all, “Hey this football game is kinda boring. I know! Let’s blow each other!” Then the next time all hanging out at some regatta or BBQ like nothing happened.
    Of course my cell phone’s ringtone is the WHERE THE BOYS AREN’T 12 theme song, so I guess it’s hypocritical to nitpick, but chicks scissoring always gives me Mixed Emotions. It’s cool when it’s a VIXEN doing it because she’s dirty and it’s HOT… but when some NICE CHICK is all, “Yeah I hooked up with a chick in college,” I get like Jake LaMotta if his wife showed up in a too-short bikini flirting with Frank Vincent. Both because I wasn’t there with a video camera AND because how are chicks all casual about it.

  23. Rob says:

    Miley Cyrus gets paid to act in movies, you guys.
    With that face. And that posture. And that voice. Is that what Cartman would sound like if he were from Nashville?

  24. berg says:

    girl on girl always works best when the titillation is not the main gist of the exploitation like in Mulholland Drive (horror fu) or Bound (crime noir fu)

  25. Stella's Boy says:

    Lex are you trying to tell me you didn’t see Wild Things daily during its theatrical run?

  26. The Big Perm says:

    berg is right, when you watch one of those Misty Mundae movies or Skinemax horseshit it’s not as good. You just want there to be one or two scenes in a regular movie.

  27. LexG says:

    Nah, I refer you both to the candle wax-RJ opening scene with Jenteal and Christy Canyon in WTBA9, one of the finest screen moments ever.
    ROB: I don’t get what you’re saying. Miley is a) cute, b) likable, c) has a great singing and speaking voice. She is positively CHARMING.
    It looks like it’s gonna rule in that movie where that dude puts rocks around her and writes on her shoe.

  28. Wrecktum says:

    Lesbo scenes are mostly boring because it’s little more than a lot of kissing and caressing. Even hot clam on clam violence gets dull quick since it’s not much more than writhing and moaning. Sex scenes need to have movement: thrusting, bobbing, arching, stuff like that. In lieu of these proper sex scene elements, directors feign movement with a lot of camera pans and dissolves and random closeups of quivering skin. These are phony short cuts that imply hot sexy goodness, but are in actuality a cheap work around.

  29. The Big Perm says:

    I disagree…hotter scenes need less movement. Wrectum, the movies you’re talking about make me think of Skinemax movies that run at 4pm, that shit ain’t sexy. It always looks fake and chintzy.

  30. Rob says:

    Lex – you don’t think she looks just a little bit like Gizmo from Gremlins?

  31. York "Budd" Durden says:

    >But by ALL MEANS, continue to clock in two or three times a month ONLY to address my posts
    Lex, I would CHIME in more often, but with your white noise (and DZ’s linkfest on HE) hijacking all the threads, I don’t know what the point would be.

  32. LexG says:

    Rob: HAHAHAHAHA! Guess I can kinda see that, but I still think she’s cute. She was mentoring the IDOLS last night.
    I’d like to be HER mentor, if you know what I mean. I’ll give her a Party in the USA.
    Bud Yorkin: That’s just ridiculous. Half the time both here and there you’re complimentary and amused, then out of nowhere you complain about it. I don’t get it. Just like those handful of HE guys who are all like, “Hey Lex, I can help you set up a website/want to hang out and grab a beer and talk about movies?” Then when I politely decline because I don’t meet people from the Internet as a rule, they’re all “Yeah, well fuck you, I hate you anyway, loser!” Like, be a little more schizo.
    LESBIAN SCENES are the ONLY TOLERABLE PORN SCENES because I don’t want to look at a dude’s nutsack from behind, and I can’t look at some tribal-tatted closet-case weightlifter brutalizing some vapid, stupid-voiced 100-lb chick and see that dude as my male representative.

  33. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, people get angry at you for constantly whining for help with your writing/acting careers, then refusing to actually do anything to advance them (hint: painful thought it might be, you actually have to leave your apartment), then whining some more.

  34. Krazy Eyes says:

    I can sympathize with Lex about not wanting to do meet-and-greets with people from Internet forums. I used to do it quite a bit 5-10 years ago and although I met a couple cool people the general results were pretty scary.
    In fact, one Asian movie forum had a regular poster that was somewhat similar to Lex — all brash and outgoing. We met up for coffee (after a few aborted attempts) and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. In reality he was this stammering shut-in with zero social skills. I probably sound like a dick but it’s the sad truth and I suspect something similar with Lex.

  35. DrewAtHitFix says:

    Stella’s Boy…
    My son’s a fairly movie-savvy kid, about to turn five, and I took him to see “How To Train Your Dragon” in 3D yesterday.
    Do NOT take the two year old.
    It’s loud, it’s very scary for kids in places, and although he ultimately seemed to like the movie, there was one five minute stretch where he had to take the glasses off and hide his eyes. The only reason we didn’t leave is because I have to review it, and he knows that.
    It’s a very good film, but it’s for kids six or up, I’d say. The 3D makes it particularly terrifying in places.

  36. Stella's Boy says:

    Thanks Drew. Good to know. I had a feeling it wasn’t appropriate for his age. Guess I’ll wait for Toy Story 3.

  37. Great article on the front page about that Capone idiot from AICN and how he and only he dictates what cool films get into Chicago. Me thinks the AICN/geek blogger crowd is headed for a fall verrrry soon.

  38. Chucky in Jersey says:

    @jeffmcm: I don’t got nothin’ against Martin Lawrence ’cause he went on a total “Blue Streak”.
    I take it that jeffmcm hates the Den of Geek! because it called out his beloved name-checking as a P.O.S. Throw in the obligatory Academy Award Winner, the semi-obligatory Academy Award Nominee and the now-customary Legion of Doom themes. Nothing screams “Hollywood’s Out of Ideas!” more quickly than seeing that tripe time and time again.
    As for the choice of typography? There are such things as Internet filters.

  39. jeffmcm says:

    Chucky, what’s wrong with you?

  40. christian says:

    “Hey Lex, I can help you set up a website/want to hang out and grab a beer and talk about movies?” Then when I politely decline because I don’t meet people from the Internet as a rule, they’re all “Yeah, well fuck you, I hate you anyway, loser!”
    Lex, you’ve yet to prove this based on the enormous of amount of helpful offers you’ve received. Which makes me think you’re online persona is just that.

  41. LexG says:

    CHRISTIAN, you are hereby commanded to read that post SEVEN TIMES, and if you can make sense of it six times, then you’re a genius.
    And you ain’t no genius.
    (BODY HEAT POWER, ROURKE POWER, GREAT REFERENCE.)
    ANYBODY ELSE HAVE A FUCKING BONER?
    I AM HORNY AS FUCKING ALL MOTHERFUCK, I WANT TO BANG SOME WHORE AND THEN BLOW A VANILLA MALT ON HER FACE AND THEN TELL THAT HO TO FUCK ON OFF.
    I AM SO FUCKING HORNY AND MY DICK IS A SOFT-ON BECAUSE I KNOW I’M NOT GONNA FUCK ANY REAL PUFFIN LEVEL ASSPIE FOR ANOTHER BILLION YEARS,
    HOLY FUCK I AM SO FUCKING HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNY AND IT SUCKS not GETTING ANY PUSSY, i think of FUCKING CHICKS and BLOWING GIANT FUCKING LOADS ON THEM then HATING THEM AFTERWARDS every second of my LIFE, I hate being a LOSER WHO CAN’T COMMAND ASSBANK WHORETANG and FUCK SOME SLUT in her little VAGPIE.
    HORNY AS FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK.
    ANYBODY GOT A GOOD LINE ON A NICE WORKING WHORE SO I CAN SNORT YEY OUT OF HER RAUNCHY ASSBOX?
    I WANT TO RIM A CHICK’S ASSHOLE FOR HOURS ON END

  42. LexG says:

    HOLE CELEBRITY SKIN POWER BOW
    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK BOW
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3dWBLoU–E

  43. Jeremy King says:

    So, this thread is about….uh…American Idol, Miley Cyrus, and a guy who seems to spend half his waking life posting here named LexG?
    Fascinating. But, to change the subject a bit…I’ve been reading that Roger Deakins was brought on to consult or something on How To Train Your Dragon…Didn’t he do a similar thing for WALL-E? And how does that work? Does he just sit down at a computer with an animator and say “More dust here” and collect his check? Do you think he watches a completed print of the movie and then gives notes? Anyone have any knowledge about how this kind of thing works?

  44. LexG says:

    Jeremy King, if you’re more interested in some DRAGON MOVIE FOR TWO YEARS OLDS than Miley Cyrus, you’re clearly gay and take it up the fucking ass.
    FUCK OFF, DOUCHE

  45. LexG says:

    FUCK ROGER DEAKINS, too.
    PRIMARY COLORS, you beige sepia motherfucker.

  46. Stella's Boy says:

    You’re pretty surly this morning Lex. Maybe a nap is in order.

  47. LexG says:

    FUCK A NAP. I’m still up drinking and shit at 6am, on beer #11, half a bottle of Jack, six shots of vodka, and I’m not even GETTING STARTED.
    I’m gonna be up and fucking ruling til 9 or 10am, because I DON’T GIVE A FUCK, MY LIFE IS BULLSHIT, I’m drinking and more 24/7 lately, indifferent to anything and everyone, SICK OF LOW-LEVEL MOTHERFUCKERS all talking up their stupid INTERVIEWS AND SCOOPS.
    Some whitebread, douchebag, no-talent MEGALOSER like that GILCHRIST homo from CINEMATICAL all bragging on TWITTER 24/7 about his stupid, dry as fuck celebrity “interviews,” all getting PAID to write about showbiz and travel to fucking DEAD ARMADILLO, TEXAS for… why?
    Look, I personally know McWeeny and Poland and Voynar, and interact a lot with guys like Leydon and Lou and whoever, and NO OFFENSE, but NO ONE in this circle is some fucking GENIUS that they should be INTERVIEWING ACTRESSES and I’m spot scripting cumshot compilations.
    Most of these dudes had some windfall or are SHAMELESS USED CAR SALESMAN talking up their shit and–
    fuck it, I don’t even remember my point, I don’t care, I’m just sick of the circle jerk of fucking industry BULLSHIT, pretending to like all this dumb shit and all these FRINGE NO TALENTS eking out a living from it…
    If you REALLY THINK 90% of the AICN, CHUD, HITFIX, Cinematical pussies have anything interesting to say about film or anything new or ANY CHARISMA WHATSOEVER on paper or elsewhere, then have at it. Shit’s about as boring as mowing the fucking lawn.

  48. LexG says:

    ANYONE HERE FUCK AN A-LIST ACTRESS TODAY?
    NO?
    THEN KILL YOURSELF. YOU ARE HUMAN GARBAGE.
    YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.
    IN A WORLD WHERE JUSTIN BIEBER IS GOD, HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELVES? TO BE A NOBODY IS TO BARELY BE ALIVE.
    WOMEN WHO AREN’T FAMOUS ARE UN-BONERABLE.

  49. LexG says:

    SO HILARIOUS that all you arrested development closet cases and queens even KNOW what this HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON MOVIE *is.*
    GROW THE FUCK UP. Are you REALLY going to go PAY TO SIT IN A THEATER WITH A BUNCH OF 2 YEAR OLDS to watch this shit? WHAT WOULD YOUR DAD THINK? WHAT WOULD CHARLES BRONSON THINK OF YOU?
    I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ASSHOLES see cartoons, and that you PAID REVIEWERS (HAHAHAHA) go to see them willingly instead of sitting it out.
    And if your excuse is that YOU HAVE KIDS? Why did you go and do that?
    Having kids or getting married = admitting you’re never gonna fuck models.
    You ever see GEORGE CLOONEY HAVING KIDS?
    IT’S CALLED A CONDOM.

  50. Stella's Boy says:

    Lex, I’m sorry your down, but it is really exciting for me to watch my son get excited about movies. We’ve been watching Pixar lately and he loves them. Sure having kids isn’t for everyone, but your lifestyle is an acquired taste as well. I know the creative frustration you speak of. I freelanced for a daily paper for five years, always hoping that it’d lead to something more, but it never did. Some people get lucky or know the right people, some people are genuinely talented. It could always be worse Lex. Don’t despair.

  51. hcat says:

    I’m sure Charles Bronson and your dad would have the utmost respect for someone weeping into the internet about how they can’t get laid.

  52. The Big Perm says:

    Used car salesmen make sales, Lex. Guys who never try, don’t.

  53. Wrecktum says:

    ABC. Always be closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING.

  54. Chucky in Jersey says:

    Good to see there’s somebody other than me who liked “Boiler Room”.
    We also need an exterminator to fumigate LG and some meat for jeff to beat on.

  55. hcat says:

    Did Chucky just attribute Always Be Closing to Boiler Room? That should call for some sort of suspension.

  56. Wrecktum says:

    Or outright ban.

  57. Joe Leydon says:

    Or, a set of steak knives.

  58. I so enjoy reading about how someone must be a “closet case”, “homo”, “take it up the ass” and a “queen” for simply liking a movie. It just makes my day so much sunnier.

  59. The Big Perm says:

    BOILER ROOM, Chucky? FUCK!

  60. Eric says:

    That was pretty damn funny, Joe.

Quote Unquotesee all »

“Well, actually, of that whole group that I call the post-60s anti-authority auteurs, a lot of them came from television. Peckinpah’s the only one whose television work represents his feature work. I mean, like the only one. Mark Rydell can direct a really good episode of ‘Gunsmoke’ and Michael Ritchie can direct a really good episode of ‘The Big Valley,’ but they don’t necessarily look like The Candidate. But Peckinpah’s stuff, even the scripts he wrote that he didn’t even direct, have a Peckinpah feel – the way I think there’s a Corbucci West – suggest a Peckinpah West. That even in his random episodes that he wrote for ‘Gunsmoke’ – it’s right there.”
~ Quentin Tarantino

“The thought is interrupted by an odd interlude. We are speaking in the side room of Casita, a swish and fairly busy Italian bistro in Aoyama – a district of Tokyo usually so replete with celebrities that they spark minimal fuss. Kojima’s fame, however, exceeds normal limits and adoring staff have worked out who their guest is. He stops mid-sentence and points up towards the speakers, delighted. The soft jazz that had been playing discreetly across the restaurant’s dark, hardwood interior has suddenly been replaced with the theme music from some of Kojima’s hit games. Harry Gregson-Williams’ music is sublime in its context but ‘Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots’ is not, Kojima acknowledges, terribly restauranty. He pauses, adjusting a pair of large, blue-framed glasses of his own design, and returns to the way in which games have not only influenced films, but have also changed the way in which people watch them. “There are stories being told [in cinema] that my generation may find surprising but which the gamer generation doesn’t find weird at all,” he says.
~ Hideo Kojima