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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

BYOB Weekend

Slow enough out there for ya?

93 Responses to “BYOB Weekend”

  1. Joe Leydon says:

    Well, if the movies aren’t enough to grab your attention — here’s my interview with Nolan Ryan.
    http://www.cowboysindians.com/western/home-ranch/2009-10/nolan.jsp

  2. dietcock says:

    JL: That anecdote at the end about Gene Autry is priceless. How amazing that you got to interview a total living legend! Good stuff.

  3. don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) says:

    Did you get him to admit he was on steroids or do we have to wait until some “secret” “anonymous” test gets seized?

  4. IOIOIOI says:

    Don, Nolan being on roids would be a shock. So, son, SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

  5. SJRubinstein says:

    I found a lot to like about “Halloween II.” I may be in the minority, but it’s what I had hoped to get out of the first Zombie “Halloween” – just a real fucked-uped-ness.

  6. SJRubinstein says:

    Really love watching that Twitter log, DP. Great idea.

  7. LexG says:

    Halloween II may not be quite the *masterpiece* (and practically original-besting mindfuck) that his ’07 version was, but it’s still a collection of awesome, amped-up setpieces, all of them featuring undervalued B-actors. Maybe it’s just not for everyone, but Zombie’s grain-and-ambient music aesthetic is as valid as anyone’s working today…
    And people complain about Zombie going to the “white trash” well again… Do people complain about Scorsese going back to gangsters, or Spike going back to simmering urban tensions, or Ferrara doing Catholic guilt for 30 years?
    Zombie is as important and interesting a MAJOR filmmaker as anyone going today. Shame he gets written off because he does horror. From the sounds of it, H2 is more vital and vivid and impassioned than so-called “auteur” Ang Lee doing another powder-lensed snoozer about a boring concert from 40 years ago.
    (Now let’s see if this posts and I’m un-suspended.)

  8. Stella's Boy says:

    Lex I am a horror freak (went to my first horror fest last weekend) and I certainly do not write Zombie off because he does horror. I just don’t find him remotely interesting. Quite the opposite; I find him mind-numbingly repetitive and boring as hell. If Zombie did white trash as well as Scorsese does gangsters, people probably wouldn’t complain. But he doesn’t. Constant profanity and depravity do not make for interesting characters. There’s nothing complex about Zombie’s writing, even by slasher standards. The guy is a one-trick pony whose trick has gotten very, very stale. Having seen Halloween 07 not too long ago, I can’t believe anyone would seriously consider it a masterpiece. It’s easily one of the worst movies I’ve seen in years. Halloween 8 with Busta Rhymes is The Godfather in comparison. I’ll taking fucking Rick Rosenthal over Zombie any day of the week.

  9. David Poland says:

    Seriously, SJR? Cause I’m not 100% on it.
    I kinds feel like I need to change the subject daily or something… not sure… probably should try some less popular tweet ideas on there…
    But it is like a drug experience somehow…

  10. frankbooth says:

    You got mentioned by another big shot, Lex. The man himself, Roger Ebert.
    http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/08/my_name_is_roger_and_im_an_alc.html
    He devoted a whole damn column to you!

  11. SJRubinstein says:

    Maybe it was like watching a lava lamp. I think I’m over it, but if I was one of the filmmakers behind “Halloween 2,” I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off it all weekend. Closest thing to a direct response from audience members as you can get.

  12. dietcock says:

    Frank Booth: That was a really cheap shot, totally below-the-belt. DP has taken Lex off suspension, Lex makes his comeback with a totally on-topic post about a movie that came out today, yet you feel the need to have to be a kockleffel. And if you don’t know what that means, have DP explain it to you.

  13. dietcock says:

    *kochleffel my bad, my yiddish is better than my typing.

  14. jeffmcm says:

    Dietcock, you would be right if it wasn’t for the fact that Frankbooth was right first.

  15. LexG says:

    Off topic but:
    Anyone see some of those NEW MOON stills that got released this week?
    They were awesome. Also: It needs to be 2012.

  16. Martin S says:

    I met Zombie when White Zombie first started touring. His movies are a real reflection of the guy and I think Feraci unknowingly nailed him in his review…
    …I simply don’t buy Laurie having a Charles Manson poster over her bed. I could see her getting into rebellion and everything, but I would think murderers would leave a bad taste in her mouth after her parents and all her friends were, you know, murdered. This is really indicative of the problems with Zombie’s filmmaking – he’s far too interested in getting in stuff that he thinks is ‘cool’ or ‘fucked up’ to worry if it rings true at all
    …His style is strong, and he can build scenes that work, but he can’t string them together into anything that goes anywhere or has meaning. He’s crippled by his own major limitations…
    http://chud.com/articles/articles/20634/1/REVIEW-HALLOWEEN-II/Page1.html
    …and that is him to a tee. Even in the early days he seemed frustrated and for years after, people wrote it off to the “tormented artist” cliche. But like his solo music career, his movies are variations on the same rifts. With his music I chalked it up to arrogance, but the complexity of a movie, especially remakes, is making it a glaring issue. It’s like he can’t decide if he wants to be a Tarantino deconstructionist or Argento surrealist, so he keeps trying to mash them into one and when it doesn’t work, he falls on back horrorcon kewl.
    Look at his Blob remake comments. When he says he doesn’t want to use the “gelatinous form”, does he realize he’s not making The Blob anymore? if it’s a person, then he rips off the X-Men character. If it’s a shape-shifting alien, then he’s lifting The Thing. Much like turning Michael Myers into a Jason Vorhees knock-off.

  17. Chucky in Jersey says:

    For our Hot Bloggers everywhere we now have a Superhero Smackdown to while the weekend time away.

  18. SJRubinstein says:

    That’s an astute observation. I remember banging on that Manson poster, too. But I also knew a guy growing up who’d been shot in the head and he not only kept the x-rays of the bullet lodged in his skull up on his wall, he also continued to hang out with the guy who (not in anyway accidentally) shot him. Stockholm Syndrome’s a bitch.
    Even 24 hours later, I still think I’m a pretty big fan of “Halloween 2,” but honestly, his music has always hit me right. I used to see White Zombie when they came through Houston in the early nineties and even though they weren’t as good live as they were on their albums, their shows were great. I do feel there’s an evolution, though. I think “House of 1,000 Corpses” has a serious evolution to “The Devil’s Rejects” that continues in “Halloween 2.” There’s that one shot of Michael carrying Laurie while walking behind the younger Michael and the mother that looked straight out of “Corpses,” a fucked family with the hulk carrying a body.
    I really think there’s something there and, unlike Devin, I feel that the completed thought is there on the screen. I may be projecting or not looking at it as critically as I should as I’m an unabashed fan, but I really felt what Zombie did with Michael and the sister in this added something new to the genre that I’d never really seen before.

  19. Stella's Boy says:

    I saw White Zombie when I was in high school. I don’t remember much other than how insanely loud it was. My ears were ringing for what seemed like days.
    Maybe this isn’t being fair to Zombie, but the Manson poster seems like the kind of thing he’d do because he thinks it’s cool and not for any deeper, more complex meaning.

  20. frankbooth says:

    Watch this and tell me I’m wrong. And that’s it’s unfair to make cracks about his alcoholism when he treats it like a big joke himself. His attitude is familiar to me. Reminds me of someone I used to know.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tDfDIJA-C4&feature=related
    Maybe I’m hoping he’ll glance at the Ebert piece and remember it when it matters. First he’ll be pissed-off and dismissive, of course. “That’s not what I wanted! Ebert didn’t really mention ME, ME, ME! Dirty trick, Frank.” But maybe — just maybe — some day, when he can’t stand the idea of having another drink, but can’t imagine going without it, either, and he’s seriously contemplating throwing that rope over the light fixture, he’ll give it a serious read.
    What is your attitude doing for him, dc? Maybe you can show your support by buying him a drink or twelve. With friends like you, he needs enemies.

  21. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    WTF. That is the reason right there why Lex doesn’t get laid.
    It’s nothing to do with not being famous, having major insecurities, casual alcoholism, a bad goatee, a few extra rolls. It’s because he can be so damn annoying. No wonder no woman in their 20s wants to be near you. You’re 35 or 36 Lex. That clip would embarrass a 15yr old.
    I went from laughing at your DP/Wells clip to literally having to look away and needing someone to talk me down from a virtual ledge. I felt like committing suicide FOR you.
    We know what you’re doing. You’re resorting to the car crash Rock Of Love way to brief fame. It won’t work for a nerdy film obsessed guy though.
    There is no happy final destination on this route for you Lex.
    Act your age.

  22. LexG says:

    Whatever; The first and third parts of that video are pretty stupid, but the middle part where I pour the booze and do a Jerry Lewis/Diceman/Sandler bit of mugging and say MMM is so funny I’ve watched it 150 times, easily, and it’s brilliant every time.
    Now, frankdouche, why don’t you get back to emailing me more hooker and tranny fantasies and tales of depression and loneliness? Next time you go condescending to me with your OLD fucking douche ass, maybe I’ll reprint that GEM of an email I still have from you which proves your issues and obsession with me have nothing to do with my problems and EVERYTHING to do with your own extremely similar circumstances and problems.
    And, JBD, I like you fine and if you didn’t laugh, you didn’t laugh. Fine with me. But ANY fucking time you want to post of a video or picture of yourself, any time you want to divulge any of your artwork or your personal issues or YOUR comedy or who you are or what you really do, I’ll be ALL FUCKING EARS. In the meantime, keep blowzing in with your old, know-it-all advice and know that it means exactly jack shit when the guy slinging it could either be a Joel Silver level producer… or a cleaning the toilet at an Esson station in Birmingham.
    In other words, suck my fucking dick, old fuck.
    And since apparently neither of you two elderly gentlemen understand misdirection or BRILLIANT, SKILLFUL EDITING, watch it again (I love the view count going up!) and take note that you never see me actually drinking anything that you can confirm what it is.
    As I’ve said before, for all you guys or Poland knows, all my GREATEST HITS here, there, HE, anywhere, were written on nothing stronger than Orange fucking Gatorade.

  23. leahnz says:

    is that an ‘LA confidential’ poster in the background? who knew
    maybe i’m slow, but something just dawned on me: being hard-out on the piss and boners are unlikely bedfellows…so either lex isn’t as think as you drunk he is or his boners are all in his head

  24. LexG says:

    Leave it to Zoe Bell Jr. to show all the thick-headed old men on this blog a thing or two about comprehension skillz, or the concept of “a character.”
    Now anyone wanna take a vote on me posting this CLASSIC email I got from frankdouche?
    It’s a gem! It also has his real name attached, too. Since he’s all about smug, misplaced advice, maybe throwing it up on the blog is just the kind of public service he’s always trying to pull on me.

  25. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, you’re not playing a ‘character’. Stop lying to us and stop lying to yourself.
    I also notice your mere presence is dragging a whole slew of other people down into your misery and issues. Congratulations, you’re spreading your disease.

  26. jeffmcm says:

    Which is my way of saying that Poland should have kept you banned instead of, once again, enabling you.

  27. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Lex I didn’t say you were drunk. I just said it was embarrassing. It was as unfunny as all fuck. You’ve shown in the past that its all about you so for anyone to make a point they basically have to piss directly into your face. So I did. So sue me. As said before I give shit to my real friends in an over the top manner and I possible (no shit) went a bit overboard here.
    I like so much of what you do. Your rant against cinema morons being a highlight. Yes it’s all scripted and yes I get its an act, but don’t you want to know what is funny and what isn’t. Find someone who thought that clip was funny. Someone meaning not a sycophant for any old shit you upload. Your taste filter is a little off sometimes.
    Lex, believe it or not, I really don’t require the attention nor love of web heads for any of my endeavours.
    Suck you dick? Only if your pubes have a similar goatee.
    Old dick? I’m only 5yrs older than you Lex.
    Now where’s your Basterds review clip Lex? Your fans await.

  28. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Jeff you’re wrong. It’s an act. He drinks. I drink. We all drink. la de da.

  29. jeffmcm says:

    The Lex who behaves himself and goes to work and enjoys his job and smiles to his co-workers is the act. The Lex who posts at 4 am wailing about wanting to commit suicide and ranting about his sex addiction is the real guy.

  30. LexG says:

    JBD…
    The fact that NO ONE finds it funny IS WHAT *IS* FUNNY, to ME. That ONE STAR rating is a hilarious badge of honor, the fact that it annoys you is a POINT OF PRIDE.
    But, really, I don’t want to make a night of this, because we all know I have to respond to all your bullshit, and frank “tranny man” douche’s, and McDouche’s, with ONE ARMED TIED BEHIND my back, because if I get too animated, DP pulls the plug again. Which is his right.
    But as IO has said A MILLION TIMES, everyone else gets to say whatever the fuck they want, with no censorship, but if I “go too far,” it’s a four-day vacation.

  31. leahnz says:

    sorta like ‘aaron’ in PRIMAL FEAR!

  32. jeffmcm says:

    And his drinking video is what somebody makes when they know they have a drinking problem and want to call attention to it in order to laugh it off. It’s a form of acting out.

  33. jeffmcm says:

    Yeah, Lex. You’re such a victim.

  34. LexG says:

    The McDouche who has stupid semantic arguments on web sites at 2am all night is an act; The McDouche who lost 100 pounds from eating the six-inch turkey on wheat for two years is the real guy.
    Also, WHY are you even joining in the chorus, Jeff? I had no beef with you on this issue or in this thread. In general, I just have sort of a semi-affectionate adversarial deal with you with no real malice, like it’s all kind of a running joke, but you’re always jumping into the fray, seemingly just to post something and be a know-it-all. Pick your battles, dude.

  35. leahnz says:

    (wow, don’t want to get in the middle of a shit storm but my ‘FEAR’ comment above was re: jeff’s 6:17 PM post, just so as not so sound totally random)

  36. jeffmcm says:

    Because Frankbooth is right, that’s why. One of these days you’ll hit bottom. I thought maybe you had with your recent talk of quitting your job and moving away and getting banned. Apparently not.

  37. jeffmcm says:

    That was to Lex, not Leah. And I am picking my battles – I could have jumped into the awesome Jeff Wells vs. Joe Leydon fight, or the terrific Glenn Kenny vs. DP smackdown, but those were more fun to watch from the sidelines. I’m mellowing out in my old age.

  38. LexG says:

    Hey, dumb-ass, I’ve had drinks exactly ONE NIGHT in the last MONTH, and it WASN’T the night I made that video.
    In other words, you know exactly jack and shit about me. But I could give TWO SHITS AND A FUCK (TM ICP.)
    What a DOUCHE.

  39. frankbooth says:

    Lex, you seem seriously pissed. I’d think you’d be thrilled that you’ve got us all eating out of your hand and buying into the persona you’ve worked so hard to create. Okay, you’re not an alcoholic — you just play one online.
    Anyway, I sent you an email. This has crossed the line into genuine unpleasantness.

  40. Joe Leydon says:

    LexG: I’m not entirely sure how much longer I will be welcome here. So: If you need someone to communicate with, e-mail me.

  41. I find it ridiculous when people like Lex post obnoxious videos of them getting drunk and generally acting like an arsehole and then turning around and saying “you don’t know the real me” whenever anybody calls them out on it. You don’t give anybody the chance to actually know the real you so when people judge you, Lex, as a drunk, socially retarded, loner loser the reason they do so is because you let them get that opinion of you.

  42. LexG says:

    NOW I am going to CHANGE THE SUBJECT because this negativity is a dead end and I told Poland if he unbanned me I’d behave and THIS IS IMPORTANT:
    Does anyone think if I filmed a I WANT TO DATE SASHA GRAY rant video I’d get like a Chris Crocker (is that that douchebag’s name?) type cult following and Sasha would see it and like put me in a porno or something? Obviously Megan Fox or K-Stew are way too big of a movie star to waste their time acknowledging some Internet dork, but since Sasha does GONZO, do you think there could be some new realm of porno called like LOW SELF-ESTEEM PORN where I do a movie with Sasha where she makes fun of how ugly and fat I am, then makes fun of my hair loss and stuff? There doesn’t even really have to be sex, I just want her to insult me and tell me how untalented and hopeless I am, because it would own a lot harder hearing it from a super hot awesome chick than hearing it from a bunch of dorky film blog frequenters.
    ALSO: How do you guys see porn these days? There isn’t a SINGLE INTERNET SITE in the WORLD that doesn’t DESTROY your computer, so I still either have to watch the watered-down shit on PPV for 14 bucks a pop or go to some sleazy videostore and feel like a perv.
    They keep talking about how there’s so much porn on the Web, but there is absolutely NO WAY TO WATCH IT without your comp being hit with all manner of shit.

  43. As always, running away once people actually point out something truthful about you.

  44. LexG says:

    Okay, Kamikaze, I’ll “point out something truthful” about you:
    You’re a 23-year-old (24?) kid with an outsize sense of self-importance that calls to mind any formerly repressed smalltowner from a strict family who goes away to college or the big, bad city and “shocks” everyone with his utterly conventional and mundane opinions or newfound self-expression. Let me tell you something… NO ONE in 2009 owes you any particular reverence for being an entitled brat. We should truly all stand in AWE that you’re so tart-tongued and sassy, so original in your mundane LOOK-AT-ME, I’m young and happy and have a partner and I like MUSIC! insoucience that’ll wear off faster than a fucking Jolt buzz any year now.
    Hit us all up again when you’re 30 and actually have some life experience under your belt, junior. I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but you’re basically an immature child who still thinks the world revolves around you.
    You have the sociopathy of youth going for you, but only you don’t seem to recognize that’s self-created.
    In other words, I don’t have to take shit from some precocious and overopinionated sassmaster half a globe away who doesn’t know FUCK-ALL about how the world works.
    Other than that, keep on rockin’, and join us in 2009, Mariah Superfan.

  45. LexG says:

    GodDAMN was that fucking well-written. And just to be clear, I don’t really dislike KC. And he’s likable once in a blue moon. But from here out, whatever Poland’s WATCH IT! edicts, someone comes at me, they get it back tenfold.
    Also, on MY topic:
    I just watched some Sasha Grey vids and they made me kind of sad. I like her when she on YouTube like being funny and charming and maybe flexing her toes and posing and being all intelligent and shit…
    But seeing some gross dudes roughhousing her was pretty nasty…. Blecch. I still think she’s cool, but how about some charm and some posing and some good-natured sexiness and lesbian fun, not some foul dude tossing her around and worse. Who wants to see that shit? Damn, if I did an adult video with S.G., I’d be respectful and polite and buy her some waffles or something then we could hang out and watch STROKER ACE or some shit. None of this nasty gagging or anything. NOT COOL.

  46. My family was not strict, I’ve always lived near “the big, bad city” and I generally present myself as I actually am. Unlike yourself, who can’t fathom why someone wouldn’t like him when everything he presents about himself is unlikable and ugly.
    I do like Mariah Carey though. She’s helluva lot better than whatever “hardcore” band you’re currently sniffing the fumes of. And if you think the life you’re living is “how the world works” then no wonder you drink.

  47. LexG says:

    I just don’t know why everybody is FUCKING WITH ME on a day where I was barely even around and really only interested in talking about Halloween II and New Moon and movies and chicks, etc.
    Not like I came in here today all trumpeting how great my stupid videos were or how awesome drinking is.

  48. dietcock says:

    FrankBooth: How exactly does calling you out for hijacking a thread and going OT (in a particularly smug “holier than thou” manner, I might add) somehow equal ENABLING?
    Am I sitting here cheering Lex on to get drunk? No. Let’s recap the facts, shall we?
    Lex posted a single well-reasoned comment re H2. He didn’t talk about drinking, he didn’t talk about boners, he didn’t talk about gash, he didn’t flame or provoke anyone, he didn’t multiple post, and he didn’t engage in any of the behavior that sometimes pisses people off.
    You, in turn, respond by linking to the Ebert piece and making a snide comment about him, quite similar in tone to the nasty comments made about him a month or so back comparing him to a mass-murderer: “Familiar?” “Remind you of anyone (har-har)?”
    I call you out for dishing out a cheap shot and call you a pot-stirrer. I stand by that assessment. Now, if Lex had done a big multiple post rant about how drunk he was, then maybe you might have had a leg to stand on. But he didn’t. Which means you fired first, totally unprovoked.
    Yet somehow, because I thought that was a cheap shot and called you on it, that now means I’m a dreaded ENABLER??? WTF? If someone saw you kicking a defenseless drunk in an alley and tried to intervene, would that them an ENABLER too? Does the possibility that someone may (or may not — who really knows?) have a drinking problem trump all laws of decorum and make them fair game for unsolicited and unprovoked scorn and finger-wagging? Does every post that Lex makes here, even the serious on-point ones about movies, have to be rebutted with a 12-step sermon?
    If Lex goes on one of his “shock and awe” rants, then call him on it. If you’re concerned about Lex, write him an e-mail (it’s been made clear that you have his address). If his YouTube video disturbed you, comment about it there. That’s all fine and dandy. But ganging up on the guy and painting a big Scarlet Letter on his chest every time he makes ANY sort of post here is a bullshit bully move and you know it. And don’t lob a sucker-punch like that and later act “shocked, positively shocked” ala Claude Raines when it provokes him and gets him riled up. Unless, of course, that’s your plan all along….

  49. leahnz says:

    yikes, lex luthor’s bodyguard much, dietcock?
    and really, there is no ‘hijacking’ a byob thread — by definition you can come in and say whatever the fuck you want, within reason i suppose. hence, the title
    for instance, i popped in the byob for no good reason other than to do a random movie quote:
    “where’d you learn to drive, circle-ville?”

  50. Martin S says:

    SJR – I also knew a guy growing up who’d been shot in the head…
    I see your point and I’d bet your personal insight is what Zombie was going for, but there’s a massive difference in surviving a near-death experience and being the sole survivor of a massacre.
    Re: evolution. I’d think he would be much better off staying the hell away from remakes and cobbling together whatever themes he wants to work with in a specific genre but for an original project. Like the relationship between 1KCorpses and Devil’s Rejects, he could have created a series of Zombieverse movies that were marketed as sequels but could stand alone, much like what Marvel is doing and Clive Barker always wanted to do. His Halloween has about as much in common with Carpenter’s as Emmerich’s Godzilla did with Toho’s, so what’s the point? Fanboy ego? Money? It can’t be careerism, because The Blob is a lateral move at best.
    It’s weird, because I’d really like what he was doing if it wasn’t under the Halloween banner. Intentionally or not, Friday 13th was maternal, Texas Chainsaw was paternal and Halloween was psychologically shapeless evil. If that didn’t interest him, then he shouldn’t have taken it on. If he thought he was adding some new dimension, then he better copt to never watching Friday 13th PT 2.
    I feel I’m ranting about this because of all the remakes announced.

  51. Stella's Boy says:

    Well-said Martin. I think you’re right on about Zombie. I don’t like House of 1,000 Corpses or The Devil’s Rejects all that much, but Zombie showed some chops behind the camera in each (my main beef with him has always been his writing) and at least he was making original (if derivative) genre flicks. At the very least I thought he showed promise. But affection for the genre is not nearly enough. For me Halloween 07 (from the guy who said he despised remakes and had no interest in them) was a huge step back. The already shaky writing plummeted and his trailer trash fixation turned the flick into a farce. It doesn’t sound like H2 represents forward progress, and now it sounds like his next project will be another remake. I find myself starting to agree with Peter Sobczynski and his comment about the “weirdly persistent rumor that Rob Zombie has even a shred of talent as a filmmaker.”

  52. Chairs Missing says:

    Martin S,
    There’s been way too much pointless squabbling on this blog lately, so please understand that I am not attempting to start a fight with you, merely discuss a couple of your above points.
    “I’d bet your personal insight is what Zombie was going for, but there’s a massive difference in surviving a near-death experience and being the sole survivor of a massacre.”
    This gets very relative to one’s experience. I knew a girl that was molested repeatedly by her father as a child that was very fond of Daddy/daughter sexual role play as an adult. I knew a guy whose mother had a serious drug problem that made a literal point of trying every illegal narcotic just once to prove that he could handle it. Like SJ, this kinda experience is why the Manson poster didn’t rankle as a detail.
    Some people have a traumatic experience & they run away from anything that might remind them of that trauma. Others take an opposite approach & dive headlong into it.
    It’s tricky to say one example of the latter approach makes sense but another example doesn’t because of the scale of the trauma. Hell, I imagine if most directors had a loved one slaughtered shortly beforehand, they wouldn’t make a film as violently bloody as the 1971 Macbeth but that is precisely what Polanski did after losing his wife & unborn child to the Manson Family.
    “Intentionally or not, Friday 13th was maternal, Texas Chainsaw was paternal and Halloween was psychologically shapeless evil. If that didn’t interest him, then he shouldn’t have taken it on.”
    I’ve read enough of your comments & Feraci’s articles to known you are both very bright people. But, reading between the lines of both of your remarks on this specific film series, I get the impression that both of you have a highly particular perspective on what it’s supposed to be about & when Zombie didn’t adhere to your vision, it messed with your reality.
    My personal opinion is that, for the flaws of the Zombie Halloween movies, I love that he took it in a truly new direction, unlike the vast majority of remakes/reboots. To me, Carpenter took the concept of “psychologically shapeless evil” re: the Michael Meyers character as far as it could go. I applaud Zombie for recognizing that & realizing that he needed to look elsewhere to put his own stamp on the material.
    I ask you: why does Zombie’s Halloween need to have that much in common with Carpenter’s? Why can’t he take the broad concept & spin it however he likes? Along the same lines, should we criticize Carpenter because his version of The Thing doesn’t have that much in common with the Hawks/Nyby version?
    If the original Halloween is sacrosanct to you, then any sort of broad changes are going to upset you. I can understand. For me, Jaws is sacred. Even if a director as talented as Fincher or Cronenberg, for just two examples, were to remake it, I know I would be freaked right out by the inevitable changes.
    You outright admit above: “It’s weird, because I’d really like what he was doing if it wasn’t under the Halloween banner.”
    I’ve gotten the same idea about Feraci. Seriously, his comment about Zombie being “far too interested in getting in stuff that he thinks is ‘cool’ or ‘fucked up’ to worry if it rings true at all” could plausibly apply to Tarantino with Inglourious Basterds in my opinion but Devin gave that flick a rave, presumably because that film didn’t tip any of his personal sacred cows.
    As always though, Martin, you offer intelligent posts. I just have to disagree with you in this case. I would also urge you to read LYT’s review linked above. I think he nailed Halloween II.

  53. Stella's Boy says:

    Yeah Zombie took Halloween in a new and fascinating direction: giving Michael Myers a totally boring and obvious backstory.

  54. leahnz says:

    for me, the problem with zombie’s first ‘halloween’ remake (i haven’t seen II) is that it’s unbelievably flat and boring. i caught it on cable some weeks ago and even now i’m struggling to remember it properly, it had zero impact, made no impression on me.
    zombie took a classic film – a masterpiece of building tension, menace, creeps and violence with an endearing, smart, vulnerable, memorable protagonist – and let all the air out of it, then tried to drive it on flat tyres. as far as i’m concerned zombie does gore just fine but he is incapable of building tension, the single most important requirement of directing effective horror, which means he is doomed to failure from the outset.
    his ‘halloween’ is about as tense as an overcooked noodle. laurie is bland and uninteresting, and mike meyers is practically devoid of menace (remember how you just had to see carpenter’s meyers STANDING there in the dark across the street – his white mask glowing indistinctly – and your heart started to pound along with carpenter’s sublime base notes and you thought, “oh fuck, there he is…he’s coming, oh shit, HE’S COMING!!!…” and you’d hold your breath as if that might stop him, but you know NOTHING will stop him because he is the boogieman… contrast that with when you see zombie’s meyers standing there and it’s like, “oh yep. there he is. he’s gonna kill somebody. whatever. sigh….”
    no tension, no scares, no jumps, no holding your breath, no release, no relentless menace, no style, no character, no flair; just flat, even, dull, boring…blech. zombie should be BANNED from remaking any more classics, he’s epically lacking, imho

  55. leahnz says:

    (sorry for misspelling ‘myers’ so many times, i’m a dipwad)

  56. Chairs Missing says:

    Leah,
    I love your uncapitalized insights far too much to ever consider you a dipwad. I misspelled it myself.
    First, I would ask if you have only seen the theatrical version of Halloween 07 or the director’s cut on DVD? In my opinion, the latter is a far better movie (though certainly not without flaws) & I was actually quite disappointed with the theatrical. My understanding is that he was very rushed in post on the theatrical cut & it shows.
    Second, your point about Zombie’s lack of tension is well taken (& your description of your reaction to Carpenter’s original is priceless). But I would counter that he wasn’t even trying to make that kinda horror movie. Zombie’s Halloween isn’t really a slasher movie at all, which as a subgenre I agree needs the type of tension you mention.
    It’s more of the subgenre of ‘serial killer films.’ Halloween 07 has far more in common with something like Henry than Carpenter’s original. So, yes, the focus is far more on the brutality of the kills than tension building. What Stella sees as “a totally boring and obvious backstory” is an amalgam of the actual backstories of a lot of real serial killers.
    Now, is Halloween 07 anywhere near as effective & disturbing as Henry? No, but I give Zombie kudos for the effort at trying something new with the material, even if it doesn’t totally work. We have the original. We don’t need yet another rehash of it. Too many of those already.
    And with Halloween II, I am not even sure I “liked” it but the fact that Zombie actually had the moxie to take a well-known horror franchise into Lost Highway/Mulholland Drive territory was worth the price of admission for me because at bare minimum I hadn’t seen that done before.
    It’s just my opinion & I know I’m in the minority but, then again, Carpenter’s original never effected me as profoundly as lots of folks, so I’m not as attached to it. Now, The Thing, that’s another story!

  57. don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) says:

    I don’t really care either way about the Halloween movies and quite liked 1000 Corpses. I saw Zombies “Halloween” reboot and, like many, enjoyed the first half more than the second. However I think a fundamental flaw in Zombies work is, he doesn’t give a shit about the source material.
    Not that there was some deeply held beliefs about who Michael Myers is and Zombie shit on that, but he took all the stuff that made Halloween great, tried to make it his own by ignoring all that stuff and it showed. Why not just create your OWN serial killer evil villain and do THAT movie?
    As was stated, it took some guts to try and flesh out who Michael Myers was, but the fleshing out wasn’t terribly creative. (and I haven’t seen H2, but am planning on it) But I think Zombies new project and his comments on it speak to the whole Halloween thing.
    In case you haven’t heard, Zombie is remaking “The Blob” and actually said: “”My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that’s the first thing I want to change.” Uhhh….dude? It’s THE BLOB.

  58. Martin S says:

    Chairs – No problem. If I can’t tell the difference between debate and hostility, that’s my problem.
    Re: The Manson Poster (for shorthand). What I was getting at, and what you seem to share with SJR, is what I believe Zombie also has experience with – people who have been through f’ed-up situations that develop weird habits due to the underlying psychological issue. Completely true.
    But what Zombie’s Myers did, tried to do, is called family annihilation. Chris Benoit is the poster boy for this heinous act. A few months ago, some Long Island father took his family to Maryland to visit the daughter in college and he killed them all in a hotel room. H2 confirmed to me that Zombie has read about this classification and decided to layer it into Myers, because it does not exist in Carpenter’s film where Myers is a real-life Damien. So instead of following any of these ideas through, Zombie cherry-picks; family annihilator, latent Stockholm Syndrome, etc… and it leads to his character’s psychology not matching the situation at hand. Now if this is going to be his signature, which I think he is attempting, I’d like it for original projects.
    There’s an obligation to the creator who was talented enough to make it in the first place and the fanbase that kept it alive for decades or else it would have been the proverbial tree falling in the woods. Also, A property can only survive based on what makes it unique. How many slasher films came and went after Halloween and Friday 13th? Remove mama Vorhees from the Friday equation and you have Myers In The Woods, or as it was called, The Burning. No one movie idea can be original – Norman Bates begat Jason – but a combination of different ideas can produce an unmined approach. Carpenter crosses Damien with Norman Bates and slaps him in Black Christmas – Halloween. Cunningham takes Myers and re-works Bates’ mama issue into a Bava/giallo setup – Friday 13th
    Once you take on a remake of a franchise you’re obligated to deal with the existing themes and extrapolate on them, not jettison the whole shebang for whatever reasons. A stand alone like The Blob doesn’t have that same rigid structure, but there are basic tenets at work. If Zombie wants to stray so far away from The Blob that it doesn’t have a pink gelatinous mound, it’s his choice. But he better not start bitching when the fanboys start yelling he lifted this from The Thing, that from Testuo and “I liked it better when it was called Slither…”

  59. Martin S says:

    The third and fourth paragraphs got screwed up. If anyone wants a clarification, let me know.

  60. leahnz says:

    “Zombie’s Halloween isn’t really a slasher movie at all, which as a subgenre I agree needs the type of tension you mention.
    It’s more of the subgenre of ‘serial killer films.’ Halloween 07 has far more in common with something like Henry than Carpenter’s original. So, yes, the focus is far more on the brutality of the kills than tension building. What Stella sees as “a totally boring and obvious backstory” is an amalgam of the actual backstories of a lot of real serial killers.”
    chairs missing, i think you make a very interesting point there, that makes perfect sense and really does describe zombie’s sensibility in regards to the ‘halloween’ material (i haven’t seen his director’s cut, i only just happened to catch the theatrical cut on cable but i will give it a go). zombie’s approach doesn’t really do it for me personally, but looking at it from that different perspective, i can see how one could appreciate that zombie has at least interpreted mike myers through a different filter, so point taken.
    (carpenter’s ‘halloween’ and clark’s ‘black christmas’ are really the only true slasher flicks dear to my heart, in general the genre has become tired, overused and cliche)

  61. leahnz says:

    (and whether or not craven’s original ‘elm street’ can be considered true ‘slasher’ fare is debatable, i’m sure, but i’ll sneak that in there with ‘halloween’ and ‘black c’ for my fave slashies)

  62. leahnz says:

    and hooper’s original ‘Texas chainsaw massacre’…
    (i think my brain is on the fritz today, i’m just digging myself a deeper and deeper hole)

  63. Stella's Boy says:

    Regardless of the authenticity of the backstory as it relates to real serial killers, I just found it to be a huge artistic mistake. I don’t think it was wise to try and explain Michael Myers. It takes away so much of what makes him scary. Yes it would have been boring if Zombie merely rehashed Halloween. But just because some real serial killers grew up in a white trash family doesn’t make the backstory in the remake any more interesting. It was an obvious choice and it’s dull. Plus I don’t think his wife can act for shit so that doesn’t help, and the dialogue in the backstory scenes is atrocious (though unintentionally hilarious).

  64. LYT says:

    Unintentionally hilarious?
    I had occasion to interview Rob Zombie a few years back. Worst interview I ever did. He basically said that he had no idea why anyone would want to be scared by a movie…that he always found horror movies funny above all else.
    I would suggest that humor is foremost in his mind when making these.

  65. Martin S says:

    Massive.
    I said when Maisel was brought on, it was because he was a prepper for sale.
    http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118007932.html?categoryid=13&cs=1

  66. Martin S says:

    All deals will eventually bite it.
    This explains the Sony bumrush on Spidey.
    Someone else was in the lurch to buy. Marvel was going to be sold to someone before IM2 opened.
    Pixar involvement.

  67. IOIOIOI says:

    Disney can really go and fuck themselves. This deal stinks. Marvel needed to sell for obvious reasons, but to Disney? Really? So long Marvel comics. Hello FAMILY FRIENDLY COMICS for ZE WHOLE FAMILY! Worst deal in a few.

  68. Martin S says:

    All of this stems from the Disney/Marvel XD partnership. A number of video rights have been intertwined between the two for years and have never been released because of the ownership mess.
    Massive publishing integration coming. Not sure if it’s good or bad for Marvel.

  69. Wrecktum says:

    :Disney can really go and fuck themselves. This deal stinks. Marvel needed to sell for obvious reasons, but to Disney? Really? So long Marvel comics. Hello FAMILY FRIENDLY COMICS for ZE WHOLE FAMILY! Worst deal in a few.”
    Ha ha! I came here to see Fievel’s reaction and it’s EXACTLY what I expected. Ha ha! Fievel FTW. I hear Iger wants Marvel to start focusing more on Spider-Ham and Super Rabbit books in the future.
    Ha ha to Fievel!!

  70. The Big Perm says:

    So listen up, kids…they’re going to make Halloween 3. Does that mean they will actually make Halloween 3 like the original version and do a Michael Myers-less installment? Personally, I would love that. The problem with Halloween 3 is not that they made a version without Michael Myers, it’s that it was such an awful, retarded movie in every way. Make a GOOD Halloween 3 without Myers, and then have other interesting directors make one every year. Trick R Treat sounded like it would have made for a good Halloween 3. How about a JT Petty Halloween 3, and then a Neil Marshall Halloween 4?

  71. don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) says:

    I’ve been thinking the same thing re; Halloween 3 but I got a way, way better idea. Let Tarantino make Halloween 3 and have it be like the original H3 in tat it has NOTHING to do with Myers. He said he’d like to hit the horror genre….why not H3?

  72. LexG says:

    “The problem with Halloween 3 is not that they made a version without Michael Myers, it’s that it was such an awful, retarded movie in every way.”
    Man, Perm, could you possibly be any more of the least fun dude ever? Christ, Tom Atkins’ performance alone is the stuff of legend, more amusing and entertaining than all of Bruce Campbell’s 27 years of fanboy-beloved performances combined, which I’m sure you’re all about jocking.
    It also features Carpenter and Howarth’s single best electronic score, the AWESOME JINGLE, Cundey cinematography, a delightful villain turn from Dan O’Herlihy, Stacey Nelkin being hot, and a fun tone that’s half tongue-in-cheek, half genuinely sinister. Along with the ’78 film, the ’81 sequel, and Zombie’s ’07 remake, it’s easily one of the best of the series.
    To not be utterly charmed by HIII:SOTW is to have seen it like one time in 2004 from Netflix with a chip on one’s shoulder.
    It’s like some brilliant subversive take on the 1982 suburbia of Spielberg’s movies of the time, mixed with old-school British horror and ’50s paranoia sci-fi. And again… Atkins, leading man. One of the best movies ever made.

  73. christian says:

    What Lex said. H3 was a blast on opening day, though I could hear the collective WTF from the audience. A perfect modern techno-pagan horror tale. And I kick myself for not buying one of those Don Post Silver Shamrock masks in Fangoria…

  74. The Big Perm says:

    Atkins is great as always, but he’s in actual good movies. Halloween 3 is just pretty boring.
    Hey Lex, where did your unfunny video go? I wanted to watch it since everyone was bagging on it but I guess you pulled it, huh? Oh well, all of your other videos are just as unfunny, I can watch those!

  75. LexG says:

    Perm…
    Post something of yours. Seriously. C’mon, through up one of your camcorder movies your AV department in suburban Maryland whipped up that are better than being in L.A., because “D.C. is (my) bitch.”
    Tool.

  76. The Big Perm says:

    Am I being challenged by Lex the real person or is this Lex the wacky character who’s so proud of making unfunny terrible videos that he takes them down when someone comments on how unfunny they are?
    Asshole.

  77. The Big Perm says:

    And back to my original comment…wouldn’t a Halloween series of brand new different Halloween tales be a better yearly Halloween release than the Saw movies? I say yes.

  78. christian says:

    They tried that and confounded audiences, so I’m not sure it wouldn’t be the same…

  79. LexG says:

    Whatever, Big Douche. The gauntlet has been thrown down. AMAZE us with YOUR blistering talent. Oh, right, you don’t need Internet attention to jump-start your happening film career, you get enough props in the real and everything you do here is just bullshit to kill time and amuse yourself. But, yeah, we should find your (mundane) opinions to be oh-so-valid from afar. Oh he who pussied out and couldn’t make it in L.A. so ran back to making broom-closet chintzy productions in the backwoods.
    But thank god it sounds like you’re just more of a money man/hustler type than a creative type. Based on your hopelessly listless wordsmithery you fling in these parts, I wouldn’t trust you to write a fucking grocery list.
    You couldn’t turn a phrase to save your life, you’re never witty, charming, interesting, or clever. Just dull and mean, and lacking in humor if you don’t find me funny. Which is your right, Nobody From D.C. Who Couldn’t Hack it in L.A., but you can’t deny I get HUNDREDS of people on here saying how funny I am, how clever my writing is… When’s the last time Poland offered you a shot at putting your ideas center stage? You’ll scoff and say you wouldn’t want to, but face it, YOU COULDN’T, because YOU CANNOT WRITE. You display ZERO TALENT, and again, I’m sure you’ll just say this isn’t your chosen venue, but trust me, hombre (TM Wells), it’s 100000% obvious from your dull-witted posts you don’t have a fucking SHRED of talent or charm, you aren’t fit to shine my fucking shoes, so why don’t you keep your name-dropping, unironic, zero-self-awareness tool ass fucking quiet, you fucking bitch?

  80. The Big Perm says:

    “Lacking in humor if you don’t find me funny?”
    Now THAT’S funny!

  81. jeffmcm says:

    Big Perm has consistently been funnier and cleverer than Lex.
    A big part of it is because Lex gives off the stink of trying too hard, and everything Perm writes appears to be effortlessly tossed off like something Dorothy Parker would say at a smutty dinner party.
    AND
    The idea of Halloween III wasn’t bad – but the execution of it is boring and lifeless.

  82. Joe Leydon says:

    Speaking as someone who saw (and reviewed) Halloween III during its opening weekend, and shared the disdain of the few folks sitting arond me and the long-suffering Mrs. Leydon in the theater — I wold say, Point: JeffMcM.

  83. jeffmcm says:

    I just saw Halloween III for the first time, about two years ago, and these are some of the words that were included in my post-viewing notes: ‘ugh’, ‘miserable’, ‘boring’, ‘repetitive’, ‘ponderous’.
    I did write that I enjoyed how much drinking Tom Atkins does in the movie, though.

  84. LexG says:

    “everything Perm writes appears to be effortlessly tossed off like something Dorothy Parker would say at a smutty dinner party.”
    Yeah, that doesn’t sound gay or anything.

  85. jeffmcm says:

    I don’t care. He’s better than you are, and he sweats less too.
    Ever since you showed your face in that drinking Youtube video, all I think of when I think of you is the fat kid in Goonies. Truffle Shuffle yourself to bed, loser.

  86. LexG says:

    I don’t know what TRUFFLE SHUFFLE means, because I’m not a fucking douchebag Jared from Subway looking 1981-glasses toolbag who has to create my own IMDB page like a pathetic scrawny fucking dork; Look, if you have a fucking boner for Bitch Perm, cybersex the motherfucker on your own time, McDouche.
    I’m gonna go over to IMDB and fill in the TRIVIA section on Jeff McBallsack’s fucking SELF-CREATED (LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER) page.
    It will read like this:
    TRIVIA: Is a douche.
    I love how you talk shit about me, you going nowhere motherfucker who does PROBABLY THE SAME FUCKING JOB. Good to see your overpriced education has gotten you to the same place in life as me.
    Or per your last email, less than me, since people actually watch my shit.

  87. LexG says:

    Also, McDouchebag, o ye of NO DISCERNIBLE REAL-LIFE PERSONALITY:
    The gauntlet remains thrown: Bet you couldn’t make a fucking bran muffin recipe entertaining on YouTube, but anytime YOU wanna delight us in video form with your scintillating personality and film sense, I’M ALL EARS. Meantime I’ll just amuse myself with all these TV and Internet camera offers and my Anne Thompson Variety clippings.
    And I heard there’s a REWARD for anyone who can EMAIL me “BIG PERM’s,” Washington DC megaproducer’s, credit list or a video he’s made.
    I only have 2,000 fans between here and HE. If Bitch Douche is the big-time player he claims (which we know he’s not, because he’s clearly stupid as fuck and writes like a bad AICN talkbacker), someone’ll hit me up with his credits, and I’ll make that shit a fucking MAINSTAY of any future videos.

  88. LexG says:

    Fuck, maybe Poland’ll hit me up with some Big Perm info.
    CAN’T WAIT TO CHECK OUT HIS CREDS!

  89. LexG says:

    Jeff McDouche, I just wanna make sure:
    Is your IMDB page REALLY up to date?
    I wouldn’t want to miss out on any other good unreleased USC student films that aren’t readily available to the public at large. Is there a sequel to STRAIGHTBOYS out there yet? I wanna make sure I have the most up to date info on all your high-profile ‘jects. Because I’m on my way to never watching any of these nonexistent non-movies. But I’m sure you’re thorough about passing them along to your hero in D.C. Because that town IS HIS BITCH.
    What a bunch of hapless fucking poseurs, nobodies and losers. Yeah, Big Perm, all puffing up and talking up his nonachievements that no one’s heard of and no one gives a fuck about.

  90. LexG says:

    Hey McDouche: I just filmed 11 seconds of my ballsack.
    Maybe I should it add an entry for it on IMDB.

  91. LexG says:

    Hey, Big Perm, the slide projector in Classroom 222 is broken, they need you down there.
    Bitch.

Leonard Klady's Friday Estimates
Friday Screens % Chg Cume
Title Gross Thtr % Chgn Cume
Venom 33 4250 NEW 33
A Star is Born 15.7 3686 NEW 15.7
Smallfoot 3.5 4131 -46% 31.3
Night School 3.5 3019 -63% 37.9
The House Wirh a Clock in its Walls 1.8 3463 -43% 49.5
A Simple Favor 1 2408 -50% 46.6
The Nun 0.75 2264 -52% 111.5
Hell Fest 0.6 2297 -70% 7.4
Crazy Rich Asians 0.6 1466 -51% 167.6
The Predator 0.25 1643 -77% 49.3
Also Debuting
The Hate U Give 0.17 36
Shine 85,600 609
Exes Baggage 75,900 62
NOTA 71,300 138
96 61,600 62
Andhadhun 55,000 54
Afsar 45,400 33
Project Gutenberg 36,000 17
Love Yatri 22,300 41
Hello, Mrs. Money 22,200 37
Studio 54 5,300 1
Loving Pablo 4,200 15
3-Day Estimates Weekend % Chg Cume
No Good Dead 24.4 (11,230) NEW 24.4
Dolphin Tale 2 16.6 (4,540) NEW 16.6
Guardians of the Galaxy 7.9 (2,550) -23% 305.8
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 4.8 (1,630) -26% 181.1
The Drop 4.4 (5,480) NEW 4.4
Let's Be Cops 4.3 (1,570) -22% 73
If I Stay 4.0 (1,320) -28% 44.9
The November Man 2.8 (1,030) -36% 22.5
The Giver 2.5 (1,120) -26% 41.2
The Hundred-Foot Journey 2.5 (1,270) -21% 49.4