By David Poland firstname.lastname@example.org
Is This The Single Worst Idea In History?
Wow… when Michael Fleming scoops, he comes up with some craaaaazy shit.
Rob Marshall directing the fourth Pirates movie for Disney.
I mean… mind boggling… truly… it takes my breath away.
In what sick, demented universe would a company like Disney put a guy who has never shot action, never directed anything bigger than a stage, and is struggling with an overlong cut of his third film right now after one hit – Chicago – and one utter flop – Memoirs of a Geisha in charge of their billion-dollar-gross-a-film franchise? Is it really down to this? Is Johnny Depp trying to destroy his meal ticket so he won’t have to put on the pirate’s cap ever again?
I wish Rob Marshall well. If anyone can help him get Nine into shape for a successful Oscar and box office run, it’s Harvey Weinstein, who has a bad rep for overcutting good films, but deserves a lot of credit for being about to fix problem films as well as any producer ever has.
But Pirates 4?
McG for Terminator Salvation at least made some sense. I can only assume that Disney is looking at the Harry Potter series and David Yates coming in to handle the last four films of the series to success so far. But Yates had a lot more experience as a director than Marshall does. And the Potter franchise has a lot of chiefs in place who haven’t changed. Pirates, for which Gore Verbinski did not get enough credit because Depp charmed so intensively, requires some real imagination. I mean, will every action sequence dissolve into a memory that Captain Jack Sparrow has of a dance number in a musical hall somewhere?
Really… if someone at a party told me that I couldn’t guess in a million years who would be directing the next Pirates movie and gave me 100 guesses, somewhere around guess 47, I would, in exhaustion, perhaps choke out Rob Marshall’s name with a laugh because wouldn’t that be funny. Paul WS Anderson is more qualified. And Dominic Sena would probably do a much better job, just letting Bruckheimer tell him what to do.
Is this an April Fool’s joke? Come on… someone… tell me… it’s a joke… right? Gotta be… right?