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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

BYOB Thursday

Leaving Salmon Central behind… Terminated Salacious ahead…
Questions of the Day: Did something keep Transformers Dos from opening LAFF or is a concept comedy with Jeff Daniels and Ryan Reynolds really that good?
How big will Pixar’s most surrealist film to date fly?
And is the best documentary of the year an off-the-radar old school (no talking heads/no narration) film about training kids for Olympic gold while still in pre-school and elementary school?

78 Responses to “BYOB Thursday”

  1. LexG says:

    Alison Lohman. GOOD ACTRESS.

  2. anghus says:

    I don’t know how well UP is going to do. Does it really have any competition. With M&A having already come and gone, what is out there other than ANNUAL PIXAR MOVIE to see?
    It’s not like last year where you had Kung Fu Panda and Wall-E close together.

  3. LexG says:

    News flash:
    Anghus is a fucking bitch. Now go take your beloved MOMMY and wifey to see UP, you hilljack motherfucker.
    But first go watch some more of my puppet shows and be the good little bitch that you are.

  4. LYT says:

    Transformers 2 goes in the now-standard LAFF “world premiere blockbuster that isn’t technically like anything in the fest, but gets attention.” As such, not traditionally suitable for the opener.
    With Wanted and Hellboy 2, the ostensible reason for them opening and closing was the “acclaimed foreign directors.” Can’t say that about Transformers.

  5. anghus says:

    you could qualify Michael Bay as an “acclaimed foreign director” by saying “Directing is a foreign concept for Michael Bay”

  6. LexG says:

    You could qualify Anghus as a “giant fucking tool” by saying “Humor and vagina are foreign concepts for his weak bitch ass.”
    Your mommy’s calling, ANG-HUSS. Also, your editor just “rang” and said you’re fired for not knowing how to spell narcissistic.
    Bitch.

  7. InCalgary says:

    I agree with Anghus. UP is gonna have very little direct competition. I think last year that Kung Fu Panda may have surprised with its longevity and total gross ($416 worldwide?).
    Whether it ‘hurt’ Wall-E…I don’t know. They were 3 weeks apart.

  8. LexG says:

    How much would it rule if Anghus’s wife was fucking Gallagher on the side?
    Ang-Hus, when she comes home, does she smell like watermelon?
    Bitch.

  9. anghus says:

    But 3 weeks apart isn’t much. Especially with an animated family film that usually has longer legs.
    With no real competition in the market, i can’t see how UP doesn’t make coin. Even as a surreal film that’s a hard sell, i still think it passes 200 million without breaking a sweat.

  10. Chucky in Jersey says:

    It’s not hard to sell “Up”. ALl it takes is the Liberal Media being sure to mention Pixar and/or Disney in every story and review.
    The result is perfect for the Liberal Media and perfect for Hollywood: Plot summary with no context, garnished with product placement.

  11. MDOC says:

    The Reviews coming in for Up are phenominal. Ebert 4 stars, Devin from CHUD gave it a 10 out of 10 and said it made him cry. I might have to check it out. That being said, without a cute animal I have to think 200 million domestic tops. It does have no competition though, so it’ll be interesting.

  12. Blackcloud says:

    Chucky’s comments about the liberal media and name dropping always bring to mind Pavlov’s dog, but it is never clear who is Pavlov and who is the dog.

  13. Telemachos says:

    Personally, I didn’t think it was as good as WALL-E or others at the top of the Pixar echelon. But it’s cute and fun and the first 15 min or so are tremendous.

  14. messiahcomplexio says:

    I believe “up” does have the prerequisite cute animal. That dog with the collar that lets him speak English.
    Squirrel! Hi there…
    Also, confused on how “up” works into the vast left wing conspiracy..?
    What? Is that balloon powered floating house just another “lefty plot” thought up by Al Gore to convince us to get off fossil fuels?
    If so, then our plan is working…HAHAHAHAHA!

  15. David Poland says:

    Can someone tell me, calmly, why LexG is going all crazy on Anghus?

  16. Eric says:

    Check one thread down Dave.

  17. anghus says:

    i challenged him to be better. It worked for Kirk in Star Trek.

  18. djk813 says:

    I guess the question is, is it better for them open with a guaranteed blockbuster or is it better for them to open with a film that might sell?

  19. anghus says:

    guaranteed blockbuster is such a fleeting term. Wolverine is something they’d call ‘guaranteed blockbuster’ or Watchmen. And it seems like they will crawl over an acre of broken glass to profit.

  20. lazarus says:

    Can David Poland tell me, calmly, why someone on his “staff” comes in here and verbally taunts other people, off-topic, from another thread?
    Drunken rants are one thing; bitter, profanity-filled attacks directed at individuals are another. Anghus gave Lex some harsh but constructive criticism, and your unprofessional new columnist goes haywire.
    DP, you’ve completely underestimated the intelligence of the people who come to your site(s), and overestimated Lex’s ability to mature and take his position seriously.
    Hope it was worth it, on both counts.
    Anghus: You’re my new hero.

  21. 555 says:

    Maybe Transformers 2 isn’t ready to be shown? Didn’t Bay say that the 140 terabytes worth of f/x wont be ready to the last minute?

  22. christian says:

    Lex, FAME is a bitch.

  23. Wrecktum says:

    Up is ten quadrillion times better than WALL-E and will easily beat the robot’s worldwide boxoffice, especially with the added 3D upcharge.

  24. chris says:

    What is “surreal” about the action/comedy “Up?”

  25. Wrecktum says:

    Dogs flying biplanes and shooting syringes from guns perhaps?

  26. David Poland says:

    Way too much drama, Laz…
    The whole “hope it was worth it” thing… oy. I mean, please… a touch of perspective.
    No one said that LexG was MCN staff. Lex has talent. What Lex’s ongoing relationship with MCN is still very much in Lex’s control. We shall see.
    Lex shouldn’t have gone off on Anghus, even though Anghus was being quite nasty. He got baited and he bit and bit hard. Unfortunate. Perhaps he felt empowered by my showdown with Anghus. Even more unfortunate. Lex is not The Sheriff of The Hot Blog either.
    The sad thing is, Anghus contributed strongly before and after going out of his way to slap down Lex. He should have known better too.
    But given the history of drama in here, 5 posts is not sending me looking for a next of kin for the blog (courtesy of Drama Joe.)
    I haven’t underestimated the intelligence of anyone. I would have to say that I am one of the few on this blog who really understands just how smart and talented the silent majority on here is.
    And like it or not, those who don’t post here are in Lex’s court – in terms of the columns – by a vast majority. The people who seem to dislike Lex’s work so severely are, mostly, the people who post in here the most. I’m not going to do the math. I’m just going to do what I feel appropriate.
    Lex sent in a column yesterday. I haven’t read it yet. But I will. And we will see…

  27. a_loco says:

    I know this is none of my business, but I feel like asking anyways. Lex: do you get paid for your columns?
    E-mail me if you don’t feel like revealing the answer to my question to all these ppl. a_loco@hotmail.com.
    DP, can’t say I’m a fan of your consistently patronizing tone re: anything to do with Lex, even though I like Lex.

  28. IOIOIOI says:

    Ahole one again bring the poncy material. HUZZAH!
    A_Loco: I would think that would be a big “YES”. It would seem David inadvertently answered this question a while back.
    That aside, glad to know Lex continued to bring it. Even if he brought it so hard, that he and Anghus KO’ed one another.

  29. IOIOIOI says:

    There should be a “C” and a “S” up there. Some where. Beneath the stars or something. I know that we will be together… something something something.

  30. Wrecktum says:

    Huzzah? Go back to the renfair, nerd.

  31. LexG says:

    MORE AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL FUN for the fanz:
    BIG TIP OF THE BRIM to the cute Asian chick in the frozen dinner aisle o’ Vons tonight in the oversized sweatshirt, booty shorts and flip-flops at 10:18pm who responded to my awkward, half-assed, nearly apologetic and impotentlu polite half-smile/nod like the fucking lepers from PAPILLON just coughed in her direction. Lady, it’s called BEING FRIENDLY… Yeah, best case you’re going to say, “Hey, a disgusting overweight man with a ratty 10-day beard and a beer chin that looks like Hank Hill’s visage on a balding James Brolin said Hi to me, I want to have sex with him!”
    But in ANY OTHER PART OF THE COUNTRY, it’s called GODDAMN COMMON COURTESY and being friendly. There are two types of people in this world: Folks who offer a polite “Hi” or “How ya doin’?” in the hallway of an apartment building or the workplace, and the ABSOLUTE UNFRIENDLY COCKSUCKERS who don’t at least return a polite greeting with any acknowledgment whatsoever.
    Jesus Christ, Clunky Glasses Asian Chick, I’m into Firecrotch lately anyway.

  32. What about Night at the Museum 2 for competition?

  33. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, you should have written that last sentence on a sandwich-board so that the universe could have that particular piece of information without needing to come here for it.
    Also, Lex, you need to get used to public criticism if you’re going to be a public personality. Anghus got DEEP under your skin and sensed weakness. I’ve never done open-mike stand-up, but I know the WORST way to deal with a heckler is to let him see you sweat.

  34. LexG says:

    COMPETITION = ALISON HOT-ASS LOHMAN. That’s going to be HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE.
    DRAG ME TO HELL is being seriously underestimated; It’s TEEN GIRL HORROR being marketed exactly like THE GRUDGE, which opened at 40 MILLION DOLLARS. Also from RAIMI.
    Not that the intended audience knows who Raimi is, and I guarantee if McDouche or Yancy tagged along with me for the 12:10pm matinee Saturday at the BURBANK AMC, we would be the only two caucasians in a 500-seat theater SOLD OUT with 498 ArmeniaMexiPino 12-year-old gelheads and muffin tops talking and texting thru the whole thing, asking, “What the F-U-U-U-U-U-U-CK?” in a singsong voice for all 90 minutes.
    But rest assured it WILL be sold out. And will do HUGE business. BET ON IT.

  35. jeffmcm says:

    I would never wake up that early on a Saturday. Also, are you turning into Jeff Wells?

  36. IOIOIOI says:

    Ahole: you remain a waste. You are stain on the ass of this blog, and I like you more as Crow T. Robot. It’s a better version of you, and much less douchey. Nevertheless, it’s not my fault your fucking ass cannot catch an AMERICAN TAIL reference. Seriously, what the fuck are you doing here? Go back TWOP or whatever asshole board you enjoy… HOLD ON! THIS IS AN ASSHOLE BOARD! Nevermind.

  37. jeffmcm says:

    “it’s not my fault your fucking ass cannot catch an AMERICAN TAIL reference.”
    Say no more.

  38. christian says:

    AMERICAN TAIL?

  39. yancyskancy says:

    Was gonna make a comment or two, but since I’ve never seen American Tail, I guess I should just slip away quietly.

  40. Triple Option says:

    I don’t always realize how bad a case of PTSD I’ve developed until I get outside of Cali. I’m a fairly introverted person myself, not shy but introverted, so more than likely I’m not breaking anyone’s personal space but it’s amazing how I can say compliment someone’s coat and the person will smile and respond, generally say thank you. Believe it or not, quaint conversations have even arisen. Not in LA. You smile, nod, say hello or give a compliment and they make YOU feel bad for being friendly. We’re not talking waiting for the Line 4 at Western at 12:45 AM. I have to get off an elevator w/my hat in my hand assuring them I would cast my eyes away from them should a future random crossing occur.

  41. Triple Option says:

    Can I just give a big F.U. to the people at ABC/ESPN for ruining the National Spelling Bee competition? I used to love it when it was on ESPN2 and it was just the spellers, audience and judges along w/Dr Cameron reading the words. It was just about the spelling. Here it is, my first Spelling Bee purists rant. But you’d have the kids, maybe a few facts or quick anecdotes and the tension and idiosyncrasies of the kids in the moment created all the TV viewing drama needed to hold you in place for hours.
    It scares me when I see these video interstitials in their home environment they show before the kids get up to spell. There are more than 250 kids in the comp. I know they’re not doing it for all of them. How unfair that some kids have them and others don’t. So maybe you target the finalists from the previous years. Is that fair? “Hey, we already know that deep in you subconscious you believe if you don’t do well your parents won’t love you anymore, but we want to send a camera crew to your home to observe you prepare so we can show it before you step up to 10 million people and pee your pants. No pressure. Izat OK?”
    They create these mini packages of the kids like they’re Olympic athletes, f^king ridiculous. I know they study really hard but quit trying to manipulate a competition of favoritism. “Oh look it’s Jimmy the nose picker. Boy, he sure has come a long way. I hope he wins.” “Oh, this poor girl had to live in the shadow of her brother the 12 & under 4H pig rearing regional finalist. I hope she wins.” Truth is, like w/most adults you observe the kids for just a little bit you can pick out who to cheer and who to hate w/out any guidance from a biased 3rd party.
    Then they put the parents on the stage??? It’s such a vomit inducing moment when the show the kid up at the mic and frame the shot to try to capture the family’s anxious expressions waiting to see if the kid’s gonna get it right. Plus, it used to be the kid spells the word wrong, you’d see the anguish, then boom on to the next one. Now they show the kid go join the family. What for? Is it like Dateline To Catch a Predator where they think they’re gonna see the ‘rents smack the kid for getting the word wrong? Now they show the kid make the walk of shame, then hold on the kids because we love to see someone’s dreams be crushed first hand.
    You got the kid who finished 2nd last year bow out like barely top 8 and he was over there bawlin’ like a figure skater. Now it’d be easy to say he needed to man up and grow a pair but I remember losing in the finals of little league football at that age and feeling like I wanted to cry. Of course I didn’t but I know the feeling. But I kinda feel bad for the kid. He’s not even in HS and he already dresses like the inside sleeve of a Dan Fogelberg album but now YouTube clips are going to be blastext to everyone in his school of him doing his best Tammy Fey Bakker. My advice, now

  42. LexG says:

    TONIGHT I REALLY MIGHT DO IT.
    I AM A PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE AND MY LIFE SUCKS BECAUSE I AM LONELY AND EVERYONE ON EARTH HATES ME.
    I AM SAD. BUT WAIT, I HAVE A BONER.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdYQX8J-FFo
    OOPS FALSE ALARM, NEVER MIND, I HATE BEING ME.
    GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON. ONE. ONE. SAY ONE FUCKING THING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY OR FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
    Go on, Lazarus, DOUBLE TRIPLE DARE ME, bitch. TONIGHT MIGHT BE YOUR LUCKY NIGHT.

  43. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    LexG. Get outside and go for a walk. Go get a coffee and watch the sun come up. Tomorrow is a new day. Go greet it sober you silly motherfucker. Doctors orders.

  44. LexG says:

    JBD, thanks for that, but in all honestly right now I DON’T EVEN GIVE THE SLIGHTEST FUCK if I see a single other day on this fucking planet, I hate myself and everything in the world THAT MUCH.
    One way or the other, I can assume this will be my permanent bannage and I appreciate D-PO for the support but at this moment, any support or advice that doesn’t IMMEDIATELY entail me banging a beautiful Hollywood level woman means jack and shit in terms of cheering me up.
    My entire existence is meaningless and — FUCK, I just saw that IDIOT ALEXNADRE BOISVANT ON THE AVN AWARDS doing a SHAMWOW SPOOF called COCKWOW. Christ, give me a few thousand more reasons to kill myself.
    I HATE EVERYTHING/

  45. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Baby steps.
    It’s not your hair loss or weight keeping you back. It’s the pathetic negativity. Come on man, if you’re for real, what woman (from frozen food to firecrotch) would want to be close to a black hole? I’ve had friends kill themselves over the years and I don’t really appreciate people turning suicide into some sort of fucked up standup routine. You’re not for real about this because all of the people I’ve lost attempted it several times before succeeding. So stop pissing me off, I’m very close to hunting you down and kicking your fucking door in and sitting on your enormous head.
    Seriously, stop with the suicide bullshit.

  46. LexG says:

    Yeah but the point is, to the outside world, I’m one smiling, jovial motherfucker; For the most part, those who superficially know me think I’m the sunniest, shtickiest, open-micest motherfucker on the planet, always quick with a silly and impotent rant and a blithely self-deprecating tag. Almost none of them knowing I go home and hit a rock bottom so deep, so depressing and lonesome I can’t even bear to see myself in a mirror without breaking down in tears and posting somewhere, anywhere on the internet about how fucking depressed and miserable I am.
    So when I see some Asian chick buying Stouffer’s, she’s not experiencing the baggage of a depressed motherfucker who jackasses it up for the world to see and makes like Savage in Inside Moves for pity votes; She’s just seeing one PAINFULLY UGLY, FAT, REPULSIVE TUB OF SHIT smiling in a polite way and STILL actively choosing to turn the nose up like fucking Joe Spinell just took out his schlong in “Maniac” or something. Baggage or no baggage, I am THAT offputting to all comers.

  47. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    I would think nearly every male has been given the stink eye from some girl/woman in some bar/cafe whatever. What makes you think you’re so special? Who said you rule the loserverse? You’re just like a zillion other schmucks out there punching a clock and feeling miserable. Now you either continue or you change. It appears that you have no one close to kick your ass so it falls onto you to make the effort. Which means you won’t until you hit rock bottom which from the sounds of it is a long way off. So either wait until you’re covered in shit and unable to leave your room or make a fucking list and stick it on your mirror.
    Things Lex needs to do to make himself happy.
    1. Limit my fucking time online.
    2. Stop watching tv to kill the hours.
    3. Do something new every week even if it feels painful to do so.
    4. Stop being such a whiny bitch.
    5. Meet some of the hotbloggers for a beer.
    6. Make one of my superficial friends into a real one.
    7. Connect with family.
    You’re not a fucking leper. You just act like one on the internet sometimes.

  48. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    I completed five of your seven before I was 25 but I’m a happier person now.
    By the way, I hope you die on the way to work.

  49. anghus says:

    It’s weird after living in the south for 10 years, you get used to people smiling at you and saying “hello” as they pass. Waiving at you as you drive by.
    It’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s noticably different when i go to NY or L.A. and you say hello to someone and they act like you just asked them to grab your cock.
    It reminds me of that old SNL sketch about the NYC Office of Tourism where they warn everyone to not make eye contact. New York seems a lot softer in recent years. Not nearly as abrassive. L.A. though always has this vibe. People are always looking around, scanning the area, never holding eye contact long enough to notice anything other than if they’re being looked at. I never got a real idea of L.A.’s identity. New York has a vibe. Chicago has a feel. L.A. always feels like it changes every time i’m there. Nothing feels permanent.

  50. The Big Perm says:

    Wow, it’s weird to have time to look at the blog and here’s a thread about spelling bees and Lex’s boner yet again.
    The Hot Blog is large, it contains multitudes.

  51. jeffmcm says:

    On the New York Times homepage now:
    “Zack Galifianakis: How did a 39-year-old, overweight, red-bearded stand-up comedian with a reputation built largely on YouTube videos become his generation

  52. David Poland says:

    I have pulled 11 LexG comments off the blog this morning… so if some responses seem to be missing context, you will understand why. I left a couple for that reason.

  53. The Big Perm says:

    I have porn connections.

  54. lazarus says:

    I TOLD YOU SO.
    Perhaps you should have deleted your last post as well, DP. “What Lex’s ongoing relationship with MCN is still very much in Lex’s control. We shall see.”
    Well, we shall see about half of it, apparently.
    And I can’t believe I wasn’t here to slam down the alley-oop Lex hurled up at me. Sorry, bro.

  55. christian says:

    Lex is in some ways the perfect microcosm of how some Americans are being trained to feel by an increasingly repressive media landscape, where you are a “loser” unless you’re rich, famous or even infamous (which Lex actually is in his own strange web way).
    Lex does take that idiot Tom Leykis to heart, and you can see how that contributes to his self-loathing since Leykis is filled with hatred of himself. And he fobs that off as libertarian self-interest, devoid of spirit or empathy, which in turn infects the souls of poor suckers like Lex, who in turn acts like a petulant child because he hasn’t been given his share of the Good Life. Ironically, Lex has nothing to offer in return besides a need for FAME NOW. The only thing worse than Lex’s media-induced self-loathing is the enabling.
    Lex, Kill Your TV. You’ll be happier in a month.

  56. The Big Perm says:

    It’s so easy to make fun of Lex because I don’t believe half the shit he says anyway. If he’s serious, he’s really fucked up.
    Hey, I made the mistake of looking at CHUD today and I realize why I stopped. The nerd snark over there is like a fog made out of chicken soup. ANYway, no one over there seems to be interested at all in Avatar? Not that I am or not, but certainly the return of Cameron after all these years has got to be something to be interested in. Those guys are complaining about fucking Aliens having no depth and characterizations? Why does every movie in nerdland have to be deep? Obviously it’s a good thing if they are, I’m not trying to advocate Lex’s positions on anything…but it’s like they need the movies to be a surrogate for their own empty lives or something. Can’t a movie be fun and exciting? Did Evil Dead 2 have great characterizations and plot? Why care if Sam Raimi is making another empty vessel horror movie?
    Because hopefully Raimi is going to come in and show us how horror should be done…and hopefully that will be the same for Cameron and action pictures. I’m tired of my action movies being in close up shaky cam, did you even see the full Star Trek ship? I think some of it was always cut off because the camera was so close. You give a director 150 million and they make their movies look like a cheap tv show. A guy like Del Toro is a great genre filmmaker because he knows when to pull back and let you see the cool shit.

  57. hcat says:

    Perhaps I missed it but the BoxOffice Hell chart is missing the new Raimi. Anyone want to make any predictions? I haven’t read such great reviews for a horror film since the first Scream, and with the PG 13 rating I can see this opening to at least 20 this weekend and ending up outgrossing Watchmen, Angels and T4.
    God knows Universal could use the good news and it would be a great thumb in the eye to all of those expensive franchises that have failed to deliver so far this summer (excepting Star Trek which has found a lot of love).

  58. The Big Perm says:

    I think it will do well…so hard to say as it’s a crazy looking horror movie in the summer. How often do you get those? I’m looking forward to it because I love horror, but I am sick of slasher movies and remakes (generally of slasher movies). I want some monstery, ghostly horror that’s not some sad sack crybaby dour film like these Asian remakes. I’m looking forward to this more than any expensive summer tentpole picture.

  59. christian says:

    God forbid a non-branded, non-franchise, non-rebooot, non-remake actually brings in an audience…

  60. jeffmcm says:

    Niche horror with narrow youth appeal doesn’t do well until August, traditionally. Mass-audience horror has the potential to do well if it seems like it’s not just designed for a youth audience, which seemed to be how a lot of the marketing for Drag Me To Hell was pointed.
    So hopefully it’ll do at least 1408 business.

  61. IOIOIOI says:

    Yes Christ… AN AMERICAN TAIL! You motherfuckers do not know Fievel? Really? That guy whose a spaz really has become such a waste around here as well. He’s as bad as Ahole, but not as bad as Ahole’s alter ego… CROW! WOOOO!!!

  62. jeffmcm says:

    I’m sorry, how can I help you?

  63. hcat says:

    Yes IO its a famous song and if you got three of the correct lyrics in a row someone might have gotten it. But typing Somewere something something something is a little vague.
    Here name this score, la laaaaa la la la la la lalaaaaa…..la laaaa

  64. The Big Perm says:

    Now 1408…there was a disappointment. I didn’t hate it, but it seemed primed to be a minor classic. The opening, then Samuel Jackson, and the first ten or fifteen minutes in the room were great. But then I get thinking shouldn’t I be scared, and I’m sorry but special effect computer glowing ghosts don’t cut it. If they went the route of The Shining and did everything in camera, where the ghosts just look like people and got rid of CGI paintings…it would have been so damn tense.

  65. Wrecktum says:

    LOL. Go back to the renfair with your little rat Fievel and huzzah with all the other nerds. “Prithee, Fievel of Nottinghamshire. Fetcheth me a dram of mead for I shall crieth ‘huzzahs!’ at the joust.”
    Fievel. That’s rich.

  66. David Poland says:

    Laz – Your smugness is a good reminder of why Lex’s essays should be published.

  67. The Big Perm says:

    Who here thinks Lex died?

  68. frankbooth says:

    American Tail? Was that one of those teen sex comedies?
    From now on I’m gonna imagine IO as looking just like Christopher Mintz-Plasse in Role Models, with a cloak and KISS makeup and everything.
    And yeah, the Disney ghosts were precisely where 1408 lost me. And what a lame, non-zinger of an ending. Didn’t Wells say it was scarier than The Shining? Heh.
    (Speaking of bad John Cusack movies, anyone remember Identity? I figured the twist in that one out from the trailer, and then the girlfriend made me see it anyway. Few things are worse than sitting through a bad movie you KNOW is gonna be bad.)
    Who here saw Evil Dead in the theater, when it was new? Raise your hand. Okay, everybody with your hand down go over there and sit down on the floor and shut up — ’cause you don’t know nothin’!

  69. leahnz says:

    i saw ‘evil dead’ in my high-school cafeteria when it was new instead of a fancy-pants theatre, does that still count?

  70. The Big Perm says:

    The atmosphere in Identity was great…but aside from that, pretty much a stinker. I didn’t know the twist from the trailer, but I figured it out really early on. Why else would they show the mentally insane guy? I didn’t think the movie would actually be that stupid, but I underestimated it.
    Did Wells say 1408 was scarier than The Shining? I wouldn’t be surprised. Has anyone ever met that guy? I had only seen his picture from his site and then I met him…for a guy who hates chunky ugly people, Wells seriously looks like an old fat lesbian.

  71. IOIOIOI says:

    Frank: yeah, sure, Evil Dead is the end all be all. Sure. Give me the boomstick, whacky skeletons, and evil bitches any day of the week over EVIL DEAD.
    You also can imagine me as your worst nightmare with a green afro and devil horns. THEY ARE COMING TO GET YOU FRANK.
    hcat: I guarantee you those who do not post figured it out. The posters on this blog are some of the least “PUTTING TWO AND TWO TOGETHER” people on the net. Go look at TGWAS’ responses to me, then pray the people who read this blog are not as daffy as that fucker.
    Now onto ASSHOLE, who is that one motherfucker on the internet, that gives people shit for the way they want to salute someone who has died. You certainly picked an apt name dipshit. No one else on this blog — outside of your alter-ego CTR — could be view as such an out and out asshole, then you. On a blog full of assholes.. you stand out. So good job, dippy.
    You are also insulting renfair people. Who have to be leaps and bounds better than you as a person. How dare you attack Spaz! He’s SPAZ! No one attacks Spaz but Lex and I. You don’t fuck with our whippin post with your stupid fucking keystones, and your stupid hatred of stadium seating.
    The fact that you also put HUZZAH with RENFAIR, and not with the British Navy. Demonstrates you know jack shit about fucking history.
    Now you really need to thank your god, that this is the HOT BLOG. That David “HEAT RASH” Poland censors LEX, but keeps your hateful shit online. Demonstrates why this is such a fucked up place. Your ass should be banned, my ass should be banned, Perm, KC, Scoot, Leah, Jeff, Joe, Hcat, Hal, Anghus, , and everyone else should be banned.
    This is where the would be banned… post. Enjoy it, dippy. You seem to enjoy so little. Being a complete jackhole online must really brighten your day.

  72. frankbooth says:

    That not only counts, Leah — you get extra points for it. What kind of crazy stuff do they teach you guys down there, Tree Rape 101?
    I bet you really enjoyed your mashed potatoes and creamed corn. Nothing like eating the exact same thing that’s spewing out of various possessed orifices onscreen. Anyway, I already know you know somethin’.
    I hope there’s creamed corn in Drag Me to Hell.
    Perm:
    “Entertainment Weekly’s Owen Gleiberman has written that 1408 “doesn’t pretend to be a seismic Stephen King movie like Carrie or The Shining.” Except 1408 is a whole lot scarier than The Shining. They’re both haunted-hotel flicks but they exist in fairly different realms, and I prefer 1408’s.”
    http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2007/06/1408_serves_it.php
    Not that anyone with a the slightest clue would go to Wells for an opinion on a horror film.
    IO:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xchov6_YbU8

  73. Wrecktum says:

    FievIOl Joins the Royal Navy. Worst DTV sequel ever made.

  74. a_loco says:

    Wait, who is ASSHOLE? I thought it was me, but then I saw he got attacked when I didn’t even say anything, so I guess I was wrong.

  75. leahnz says:

    is it me or has this thread taken a comedic turn?
    wells seriously looks like an old fat lesbian, tree rape and creamed corn, fieviol joins the royal navy, LOL
    (i can’t wait for ‘drag me to hell’, hopefully it’ll get here this year. anyone who thinks ‘1408’ is scarier than ‘the shining’ may have forgotten to take their meds, and not the good kind)
    and no way i should be fucking banned. mainly because i don’t want to be banned, i hate being banned
    and yeah, dp, what’s with removing all the fear and loathing in lex vegas? are you editing comments now, or just lex’s outbursts? curious

  76. I rather loved 1408… the fist act chit-chat with Cusack and Jackson is one of my favorite scenes ever (I was laughing so hard in the theater I think I embarrassed my wife). Yes, the images may not be scary to us, but they are terrifying to our lead character. You can either be scared that you’ll be scared, or scared that the characters will be harmed. I sympathized with Cusack enough to be scared for him, so the film worked.

  77. jeffmcm says:

    Big Perm, I’ve met him. Good visual description, but I prefer to think of him as resembling the alcoholic hobos that melt in Street Trash.
    1408 I basically enjoyed for being effective if not deep. I kind of liked the implications of the twist at the end.

  78. leahnz says:

    i actually quite like the ‘all-cusack-all-the-time’ 1408 – cusack carries the movie on his shoulders in fine fashion – but it’s a pedestrian piece of film-making compared to the masterful classic ‘the shining’, in which kubrick uses stunning production design and brilliant photography – and possibly the most effective editing in any horror movie – to build tension and a palpable feeling of unease and menace; 1408, on the other hand, while enjoyable has all the sense of menace of a 10 yr old playground bully.
    (oops, i meant to say re: frankb’s comment, my high-school used the cafeteria as a makeshift cinema after hours, ‘evil dead’ wasn’t our typical lunch-time fare! though that would’ve been, as the kids said back in the day, gnarly)

Quote Unquotesee all »

This is probably going to sound petty, but Martin Scorsese insisting that critics see his film in theaters even though it’s going straight to Netflix and then not screening it in most American cities was a watershed moment for me in this theatrical versus streaming debate.

I completely respect when a filmmaker insists that their movie is meant to be seen in the theater, but the thing is, you got to actually make it possible to see it in the theater. Some movies may be too small for that, and that’s totally OK.

When your movie is largely financed by a streaming service and is going to appear on that streaming service instantly, I don’t really see the point of pretending that it’s a theatrical film. It just seems like we are needlessly indulging some kind of personal fantasy.

I don’t think that making a feature film length production that is going to go straight to a video platform is some sort of “step down.“ I really don’t. Theatrical exhibition as we know it is dying off anyway, for a variety of reasons.

I should clarify myself because this thread is already being misconstrued — I’m talking about how the movie is screened in advance. If it’s going straight to Netflix, why the ritual of demanding people see it in the theater?

There used to be a category that everyone recognized called “TV movie” or “made for television movie” and even though a lot of filmmakers considered that déclassé, it seems to me that probably 90% of feature films fit that description now.

Atlantis has mostly sunk into the ocean, only a few tower spires remain above the waterline, and I’m increasingly at peace with that, because it seems to be what the industry and much of the audience wants. We live in an age of convenience and information control.

Only a very elite group of filmmakers is still allowed to make movies “for theaters“ and actually have them seen and judged that way on a wide scale. Even platform releasing seems to be somewhat endangered. It can’t be fought. It has to be accepted.

9. Addendum: I’ve been informed that it wasn’t Scorsese who requested that the Bob Dylan documentary only be screened for critics in theaters, but a Netflix representative indicated the opposite to me, so I just don’t know what to believe.

It’s actually OK if your film is not eligible for an Oscar — we have a thing called the Emmys. A lot of this anxiety is just a holdover from the days when television was considered culturally inferior to theatrical feature films. Everybody needs to just get over it.

In another 10 to 20 years they’re probably going to merge the Emmys in the Oscars into one program anyway, maybe they’ll call it the Contentys.

“One of the fun things about seeing the new Quentin Tarantino film three months early in Cannes (did I mention this?) is that I know exactly why it’s going to make some people furious, and thus I have time to steel myself for the takes.

Back in July 2017, when it was revealed that Tarantino’s next project was connected to the Manson Family murders, it was condemned in some quarters as an insulting and exploitative stunt. We usually require at least a fig-leaf of compassion for the victims in true-crime adaptations, and even Tarantino partisans like myself – I don’t think he’s made a bad film yet – found ourselves wondering how he might square his more outré stylistic impulses with the depiction of a real mass murder in which five people and one unborn child lost their lives.

After all, it’s one thing to slice off with gusto a fictional policeman’s ear; it’s quite another to linger over the gory details of a massacre that took place within living memory, and which still carries a dread historical significance.

In her essay The White Album, Joan Didion wrote: “Many people I know in Los Angeles believe that the Sixties ended abruptly on August 9, 1969, ended at the exact moment when word of the murders on Cielo Drive traveled like brushfire through the community, and in a sense this is true.”

Early in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, as Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt’s characters drive up the hill towards Leo’s bachelor pad, the camera cranes up gently to reveal a street sign: Cielo Drive. Tarantino understands how charged that name is; he can hear the Molotov cocktails clinking as he shoulders the crate.

As you may have read in the reviews from Cannes, much of the film is taken up with following DiCaprio and Pitt’s characters – a fading TV actor and his long-serving stunt double – as they amusingly go about their lives in Los Angeles, while Margot Robbie’s Sharon Tate is a relatively minor presence. But the spectre of the murders is just over the horizon, and when the night of the 9th finally arrives, you feel the mood in the cinema shift.

No spoilers whatsoever about what transpires on screen. But in the audience, as it became clear how Tarantino was going to handle this extraordinarily loaded moment, the room soured and split, like a pan of cream left too long on the hob. I craned in, amazed, but felt the person beside me recoil in either dismay or disgust.

Two weeks on, I’m convinced that the scene is the boldest and most graphically violent of Tarantino’s career – I had to shield my eyes at one point, found myself involuntarily groaning “oh no” at another – and a dead cert for the most controversial. People will be outraged by it, and with good reason. But in a strange and brilliant way, it takes Didion’s death-of-the-Sixties observation and pushes it through a hellfire-hot catharsis.

Hollywood summoned up this horror, the film seems to be saying, and now it’s Hollywood’s turn to exorcise it. I can’t wait until the release in August, when we can finally talk about why.

~ Robbie Collin