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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Posted Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 - 25 Comments »

Tomald McCruiseald

TomaldMcCruise.jpg
Worth 1000 seeks new employment for Mr. Cruise

25 Comments »

25 Responses to “Tomald McCruiseald”

  1. T.H.Ung says:
    August 29, 2006 at 12:04 pm

    What’s this shit, I thought you were working on Heath Ledger as The Joker.

  2. David Poland says:
    August 29, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    I’m not working on anything…
    The idea of photoshopping Ledger as The Joker is idiotic.

  3. palmtree says:
    August 29, 2006 at 12:27 pm

    My fave were the Tommequins.

  4. jeffmcm says:
    August 29, 2006 at 12:31 pm

    DP’s remark about photoshopping Ledger is a joke, right?

  5. David Poland says:
    August 29, 2006 at 12:37 pm

    Nope.
    The idea of trying to create news is not something I believe in. The idea of posting satire is something altogether different.

  6. jeffmcm says:
    August 29, 2006 at 12:46 pm

    Who would be trying to create news? Wouldn’t photoshopping Ledger fall under the category of speculative fan fiction? I don’t understand your comment at all.

  7. T.H.Ung says:
    August 29, 2006 at 1:10 pm

    It’s an inside joke J-mc — do you photoshop?, if so, Ledger is up for grabs. My fave is Infiltration, Cruise as priest, because he looks so creepy. Steeling a line from a gay man I know who went to Catholic School, “I feel so unloved, I wasn’t ate before I was 7.”

  8. Wrecktum says:
    August 29, 2006 at 1:24 pm

    I think what Poland is getting at is that one of his “competitors” has solicited entries for a Photoshopped version of Heath as the Joker. Poland probably assumes such a solicitation is an attempt to drive traffic to his competitor’s site.

  9. jeffmcm says:
    August 29, 2006 at 1:33 pm

    Well now that makes sense.
    DP, you’re a good writer most of the time, but you have a habit of assuming your readers are reading and looking at exactly the same things you are and on the same page of context.
    PS: Wells sucks.

  10. T.H.Ung says:
    August 29, 2006 at 1:39 pm

    Actually Wrecktum, it’s the other way around.

  11. T.H.Ung says:
    August 29, 2006 at 1:52 pm

    But DP owns the link to Trailer Mash.

  12. David Poland says:
    August 29, 2006 at 1:52 pm

    Actually, it is neither.
    I don’t care about traffic on anyoen else’s site. A. Our traffic is plenty, thanks. Cutting into someone else’s traffic does us no favors. B. I was responding to THUng, not anything else.
    Photoshopping Ledger as The Joker becomes a weird meta-reality that floats around and becomes a conversation of its own. It is gossip of a sort and as that passes as news these days, it is not something I support. This idea that we need to pre-viz the work of the filmmakers, which will then lead to a discussion of whether they matched or surpassed a Photoshopped idea of what the character should look like is so meta that it makes me want to puke.
    If it really was as simple as someone enjoying sharing their idea of a character in an upcoming movie, so be it. But these things seem to become far more legitimized and commodofied these days than is reasonable. (Not to mention that some foreign paper will run it as real, which is their fault, but still a bad result.)
    And J-Mc… it seems that I confuse you daily now. How can you be so confused after reading my shite daily for so many years. I don’t get you not getting it.
    If the context that Wreck put it in was the context that I intended, I would have written it… and this conversation is, kinda, exactly what I am suggesting sucks about photoshopping Ledger as The Joker.

  14. Wrecktum says:
    August 29, 2006 at 2:10 pm

    Thanks for the explanation. I disagree to an extent…fanwanking is a very popular internet pastime and I kind of enjoy the passion and the artistic ability that you see displayed on fansites.
    This is the best typo ever:
    “How can you be so confused after reading my shite daily for so many years.”

  15. jeffmcm says:
    August 29, 2006 at 2:14 pm

    DP, I don’t read as much industry stuff as you do. My first encounters with most of the stuff you’re commenting on is from your own site. So when you are really excited about something, or really irritated by something, I’m often wondering why because I’m not on the same page. And I would hope that you would want to include those of us slow readers in your opinionating and not just make this a website for industry insiders, by industry insiders.
    And I don’t really see that line between ‘parody’ and ‘weird meta-reality’. It’s kind of geeky and obsessive-fan-ish, but I’d hardly call it puke-worthy.

  16. Tofu says:
    August 29, 2006 at 2:15 pm

    Hmmm, looks like there are quite a number of people wanting to see Cruise as a Fireman.
    The lapsed Catholic photoshops are ‘meh’ for the simple fact that Tom already beat them all to the punch in MI3.

  17. T.H.Ung says:
    August 29, 2006 at 2:26 pm

    J-Mc, you spend much time at HE commenting. And lately, you have been very needy. But enough about that, where do you go for fanwanking, geeky, puke-worthy stuff? I might want to check some of it out. you can email me.

  18. jeffmcm says:
    August 29, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    Not really. Only a couple of times in the last week, and I got bored with it because Wells doesn’t respond to criticisms of his stupid opinions, which DP will at the drop of a hat.

  19. jeffmcm says:
    August 29, 2006 at 2:32 pm

    I didn’t mean for ‘stupid’ to refer to your opinions as well, DP.

  20. T.H.Ung says:
    August 29, 2006 at 2:41 pm

    There is something so twisted and precious about this, that I really think you would make a great character study. “Not really. Only a couple of times in the last week, and I got bored with it because Wells doesn’t respond to criticisms of his stupid opinions, which DP will at the drop of a hat.”

  21. EDouglas says:
    August 29, 2006 at 4:15 pm

    This isn’t Ledger as the Joker, and I’m not even sure if Photoshop was around much back when this sketch was done, but this was something shared with me by Batman producer Michael Uslan…this was actually a picture of Jack Nicholson from The Shining which he sketched over with chalk to turn him into the Joker when he first thought of him as a possibility. Enjoy.
    http://superherohype.com/nextraimages/uslanint4big.jpg

  22. EDouglas says:
    August 29, 2006 at 4:17 pm

    (And I could have posted that link on Wells’ site, but I wanted it to belong to David) :)

  23. T.H.Ung says:
    August 29, 2006 at 4:49 pm

    A mo better link and a pretty nice scan. “I took it out of the newspaper, and took White Out and put it on his face, and took a red pen and put it on his lips and a green magic marker for his hair.” So glad I have my unauthorized Nicholson-as-joker airbrushed t-shirt.
    http://superherohype.com/news/featuresnews.php?id=3367

  24. EDouglas says:
    August 29, 2006 at 5:27 pm

    Oh, right… it was White Out. THe funny thing was that I didn’t really believe him when he told me the story until the scan showed up in my InBox.

  25. Lota says:
    August 29, 2006 at 7:03 pm

    In that ‘photo-rendition’ Cruise almost looks like a pretty girl.

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