By Ray Pride Pride@moviecitynews.com
Boll weasel: Uwe auteur on his crickets
Beatdown for crickets? Zap2It reports that “much maligned schlockmeister Dr. Uwe Boll (the doctorate is in literature, according to his bio) has… offered his biggest critics—including directors Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary—the chance to be in his next movie and also to fight him in a 10-round boxing match. “Dr. Uwe Boll has had enough! Uwe Boll’s position is ‘I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. I have been told that BloodRayne has a very bad IMDb rating, but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres.’ The criticism goes on and on… Towards the end of the filming of the Postal the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms… As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra/ stand-in in Postal and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the ‘Postal’ movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.” Those interested in participating are invited to send their two favorite anti-Boll reviews or articles to the e-mail address “firstname.lastname@example.org,” which is, indeed, a viable contact address listed on the Boll-KG website… An e-mail sent to the provided address inquiring about the veracity of the contest was swiftly responded to with a reply reading only “the release is true.” [The alleged release, rife with typos, appears in the extended entry below.] In the Guardian’s recap ends on a sweet note: “Alan Jones, author of The Rough Guide to Horror Movies, says: “He is without doubt the worst director in the world. But don’t forget he works in the genre of horror, and these people, myself included, are completists. If a film gets bad reviews, it doesn’t mean we won’t go and see it. We’ll all flock there anyway.” Would Jones be prepared to take Boll on in the ring? “I’d happily do so. I’ve met people I’ve slagged off in print, and you just end up becoming friends.”
Uwe Boll Invites His Top 5 Most Outspoken Critics of 2005
To Appear In His Feature Film “Postal”.
Airfares & Hotel Expenses To Vancouver Will Be Paid
By Uwe Boll’s Production Company For These Critics To Be In Postal.
June 12, 2006 – Vancouver, BC – We are proud to announce that Dr.Uwe Boll’s BLOODRAYNE starring Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Matthew Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Sir Ben Kingsley, Will Sanderson, Udo Kier, Meat Loaf, Michael Pare & Billy Zane had a successful release May 23rd., 2006 on DVD in both Canada & USA.
Iain Taylor of Vivendi Visual Entertainment Canada stated, “BloodRayne ranked in the top 6 best selling DVD titles during the first part week of sales in Canada (Nielsen Videoscan Canada)”. In the USA BloodRayne’s DVD performance was even stronger. Tom O’Malley, GM of Vivendi Visual Entertainment (USA), said “For the first time in this industry, a Theatrical Release and the Complete PC Video Game were released together on DVD. BloodRayne ranked in the top 5 best selling DVD titles during its debut week (Nielsen VideoScan USA)”. In both countries unofficial DVD rental statistics have proven to be even more impressive.
Again the fans have shown that the critics of Uwe Boll are out of touch with want the general movie audience population wants. Dr. Boll has continually been roasted for the films he has directed and produced. His last two films, House of the Dead & Alone in the Dark, cost $20 million but they have grossed over $110 million to-date. The same negative reactions from some of the same press and the internet critics are now being directed at Uwe Boll’s latest film; BloodRayne.
Dr. Uwe Boll has had enough! Uwe Boll’s position is “I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. I have been told that “BloodRayne” has a very bad IMDb rating, but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres.” The criticism goes on and on.
Uwe is now challenging the critics that failed to watch his films prior to reviewing or commenting, “TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP!”
On July 17th, 2006 Uwe will start filming his next feature film, “Seed”, starring Will Sanderson, Ralf Moeller, Michael Pare & Andrew Jackson. Following that film he will go into production in late September with another feature called “Postal”. Both movies will be shot in Vancouver, BC, Canada.
Towards the end of the filming of the “Postal” the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra / stand-in in “Postal” and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.
To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the internet or have written in magazines / newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Please submit proof of your negative reviews & comments via e-mail to: email@example.com
All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 64 kilograms (140 lbs.) and 86 kilograms (190 lbs.). You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid or entitled to any residuals
or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be covered.
Dr. Uwe Boll’s invitation to fight and / or appear in his film is extended to all his harshest critics. Roger Avary and Quentin Tarantino are among the most eligible candidates.
The following posters to the IMDb have earned the right to be placed on the list of the most extreme anti-Boll critics and are therefore eligible to enter the contest. Contestants will be chosen to be an extra and physically box Dr. Uwe Boll.
If critics want to bring Uwe Boll down, here is their chance to physically bring him down and have the entire world watch them do it.