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By Ray Pride Pride@moviecitynews.com

Boll weasel: Uwe auteur on his crickets

Beatdown for crickets? Zap2It reports that “much maligned schlockmeister Dr. Uwe Boll (the doctorate is in literature, according to his bio) has… eyoouwe870_8q.jpgoffered his biggest critics—including directors Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary—the chance to be in his next movie and also to fight him in a 10-round boxing match. “Dr. Uwe Boll has had enough! Uwe Boll’s position is ‘I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Bolling for dollars123547.jpgHalf of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. I have been told that BloodRayne has a very bad IMDb rating, but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres.’ The criticism goes on and on… Towards the end of the filming of the Postal the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms… As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra/ stand-in in Postal and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the ‘Postal’ movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the greencricket123057.jpginternet and will be covered by international press.” Those interested in participating are invited to send their two favorite anti-Boll reviews or articles to the e-mail address “info@boll-kg.de,” which is, indeed, a viable contact address listed on the Boll-KG website… An e-mail sent to the provided address inquiring about the veracity of the contest was swiftly responded to with a reply reading only “the release is true.” [The alleged release, rife with typos, appears in the extended entry below.] In the Guardian’s recap ends on a sweet note: “Alan Jones, author of The Rough Guide to Horror Movies, says: “He is without doubt the worst director in the world. But don’t forget he works in the genre of horror, and these people, myself included, are completists. If a film gets bad reviews, it doesn’t mean we won’t go and see it. We’ll all flock there anyway.” Would Jones be prepared to take Boll on in the ring? “I’d happily do so. I’ve met people I’ve slagged off in print, and you just end up becoming friends.”


Uwe Boll Invites His Top 5 Most Outspoken Critics of 2005
To Appear In His Feature Film “Postal”.

Airfares & Hotel Expenses To Vancouver Will Be Paid
By Uwe Boll’s Production Company For These Critics To Be In Postal.

June 12, 2006 – Vancouver, BC – We are proud to announce that Dr.Uwe Boll’s BLOODRAYNE starring Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Matthew Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Sir Ben Kingsley, Will Sanderson, Udo Kier, Meat Loaf, Michael Pare & Billy Zane had a successful release May 23rd., 2006 on DVD in both Canada & USA.
Iain Taylor of Vivendi Visual Entertainment Canada stated, “BloodRayne ranked in the top 6 best selling DVD titles during the first part week of sales in Canada (Nielsen Videoscan Canada)”. In the USA BloodRayne’s DVD performance was even stronger. Tom O’Malley, GM of Vivendi Visual Entertainment (USA), said “For the first time in this industry, a Theatrical Release and the Complete PC Video Game were released together on DVD. BloodRayne ranked in the top 5 best selling DVD titles during its debut week (Nielsen VideoScan USA)”. In both countries unofficial DVD rental statistics have proven to be even more impressive.
Again the fans have shown that the critics of Uwe Boll are out of touch with want the general movie audience population wants. Dr. Boll has continually been roasted for the films he has directed and produced. His last two films, House of the Dead & Alone in the Dark, cost $20 million but they have grossed over $110 million to-date. The same negative reactions from some of the same press and the internet critics are now being directed at Uwe Boll’s latest film; BloodRayne.
Dr. Uwe Boll has had enough! Uwe Boll’s position is “I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. I have been told that “BloodRayne” has a very bad IMDb rating, but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres.” The criticism goes on and on.
Uwe is now challenging the critics that failed to watch his films prior to reviewing or commenting, “TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP!”
On July 17th, 2006 Uwe will start filming his next feature film, “Seed”, starring Will Sanderson, Ralf Moeller, Michael Pare & Andrew Jackson. Following that film he will go into production in late September with another feature called “Postal”. Both movies will be shot in Vancouver, BC, Canada.
Towards the end of the filming of the “Postal” the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra / stand-in in “Postal” and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.
To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the internet or have written in magazines / newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Please submit proof of your negative reviews & comments via e-mail to: info@boll-kg.de
All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 64 kilograms (140 lbs.) and 86 kilograms (190 lbs.). You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid or entitled to any residuals
or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be covered.
Dr. Uwe Boll’s invitation to fight and / or appear in his film is extended to all his harshest critics. Roger Avary and Quentin Tarantino are among the most eligible candidates.
The following posters to the IMDb have earned the right to be placed on the list of the most extreme anti-Boll critics and are therefore eligible to enter the contest. Contestants will be chosen to be an extra and physically box Dr. Uwe Boll.
Headhunter004
Adultswimlover2
Evolution_500_2
Greatnates
thedoomsdaybegins
GunnerySergeantNumbnuts
Murdoc995
AimeeBrookes
ChineseOldMarketMan
GabeLogan9060
Veedragon40
BigSexy77
TylerDurden52
Dan223-1
howdy4641430-1
If critics want to bring Uwe Boll down, here is their chance to physically bring him down and have the entire world watch them do it.

One Response to “Boll weasel: Uwe auteur on his crickets”

  1. Julianne Fickert says:

Movie City Indie

Quote Unquotesee all »

“Ten years ago at Telluride, I said on a panel that theatrical distribution was dying. It seemed obvious to me. I was surprised how many in the audience violently objected: ‘People will always want to go to the movies!’ That’s true, but it’s also true that theatrical cinema as we once knew it has died. Theatrical cinema is now Event Cinema, just as theatrical plays and musical performances are Events. No one just goes to a movie. It’s a planned occasion. Four types of Event Cinema remain.
1. Spectacle (IMAX-style blockbusters)
2. Family (cartoon like features)
3. Horror (teen-driven), and
4. Film Club (formerly arthouse but now anything serious).

There are isolated pockets like black cinema, romcom, girl’s-night-out, seniors, teen gross-outs, but it’s primarily those four. Everything else is TV. Now I have to go back to episode five of ‘Looming Tower.'”
~ Paul Schrader

“Because of my relative candor on Twitter regarding why I quit my day job, my DMs have overflowed with similar stories from colleagues around the globe. These peeks behind the curtains of film festivals, venues, distributors and funding bodies weren’t pretty. Certain dismal patterns recurred (and resonated): Boards who don’t engage with or even understand their organization’s artistic mission and are insensitive to the diverse neighborhood in which their organization’s venue is located; incompetent founders and/or presidents who create only obstacles, never solutions; unduly empowered, Trumpian bean counters who chip away at the taste and experiences that make organizations’ cultural offerings special; expensive PR teams that don’t bring to the table a bare-minimum familiarity with the rich subcultural art form they’re half-heartedly peddling as “product”; nonprofit arts organizations for whom art now ranks as a distant-second goal behind profit.”
~ Eric Allen Hatch