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By Ray Pride Pride@moviecitynews.com

Woody Allen's favorite joke

pamplemousse rose.jpgAs told to Rob Feld in Written By magazine: Do you have a favorite joke? I have a favorite joke, but it’s slightly long. Do we not have time for it? You won’t like it. Try me.It’s about a guy who buys a horse. The horse seems to check out when he’s buying it, and the owner says to him before he buys, “I have to tell you one thing though. He’s got a bad habit. He likes to sit on grapefruits.” And the guy buying the horse says, “Okay, that’s the only thing wrong with him?” The owner says yes. The guy thinks, “He said grapefruits—all right,” and he pays for the horse. He’s taking it home with him. And they’re going across a stream and suddenly the horse sits down and won’t get up. The guy doesn’t know what to do. He runs back to the guy he bought it from. “I bought a horse from you, you tell me there’s one thing wrong, that he likes to sit on grapefruits. He’s sitting in the middle of a stream, I can’t get him to move.” And the guy says, “Oh! I forgot to tell you. He also sits on fish.” I told you you wouldn’t like it. I don’t dislike it, but why that one? … The Dada-ness of it. The absurdity of it is funny because it’s sort of like a perfect little joke. It encapsulates the utter meaninglessness of human existence and of the world.”

One Response to “Woody Allen's favorite joke”

  1. John R. Brehmer says:

    This joke is funny to me, I heard it years ago and it stayed. It’s so stupid it’s funny.

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“TIFF doesn’t make attendance numbers for its Lightbox screenings publicly available, so it’s difficult to gauge exactly how many filmgoers the Lightbox is attracting (or how much money it’s bringing in). But the King Street West venue hasn’t become a significant draw for film enthusiasts. The Lightbox’s attendance has plunged – 49,000 fewer visitors last year, a drop of 27 per cent, according to figures recently reported in the Toronto Star. Its gallery space – designed to showcase the visions of cinema’s most iconic filmmakers – saw most of its exhibitions staff quietly axed this past fall. And its marketing barely escapes the Lightbox’s walls. Unless you are a TIFF member or one of the city’s most avid filmgoers, you could walk by the Lightbox and remain blissfully unaware of a single thing that goes on inside. TIFF “still has a world-class brand,” said Barry Avrich, a filmmaker and former board member, “but it’s going to take some fresh vision from retail, consumer programming and marketing experts, given how the lines have become intensely blurred when it comes to how people watch film. They will have to experiment with programming to find the right blend of function and relevance.”
~ Globe & Mail Epic On State of Toronto Int’l (paywalled)

“I’m 87 years old… I only eat so I can smoke and stay alive… The only fear I have is how long consciousness is gonna hang on after my body goes. I just hope there’s nothing. Like there was before I was born. I’m not really into religion, they’re all macrocosms of the ego. When man began to think he was a separate person with a separate soul, it created a violent situation.

“The void, the concept of nothingness, is terrifying to most people on the planet. And I get anxiety attacks myself. I know the fear of that void. You have to learn to die before you die. You give up, surrender to the void, to nothingness.

“Anybody else you’ve interviewed bring these things up? Hang on, I gotta take this call… Hey, brother. That’s great, man. Yeah, I’m being interviewed… We’re talking about nothing. I’ve got him well-steeped in nothing right now. He’s stopped asking questions.”
~ Harry Dean Stanton