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David Poland

By David Poland

Oscars Gone Real


c/o The Lovely Ms. Librarian @

69 Responses to “Oscars Gone Real”

  1. Mark says:

    The Sound Mix is right on. Now that the Dems have been good enough to bless us with Dean for at least years. Let the comedy continue.

  2. lazarus says:

    Yeah, so Dean has one sound bite than induces laughter. They could build a video library solely out of Bush’s malapropisms and gaffes.
    Go back to your cave, fascist.

  3. Stella's Boy says:

    Ever heard of Bushisms Mark? Not a day goes by where he doesn’t mangle the English language. He has been providing comedy for years now.

  4. Mark says:

    But it doesn’t beat the comedy of Howard “The Scream:. Even better when you lose every election.

  5. thedoom says:

    Funny stuff, although i’m not “getting” the dick cheney one… what exactly is a nanook?
    oh and by the way
    Democrats: stop bitching
    Republicans: stop gloating
    you’d think this shit would be over by now…

  6. Mark says:

    Difference is Republicans can laugh at themselves and play along with a joke. It gets funner when that rube who can’t put a sentence or two together wins two national elections. He cam laugh at himself. Unlike the no humor Liberals.

  7. says:

    Yep, the Republicans excel at celebrating idiocy. What an achievement, you should be proud of yourselves.

  8. Stella's Boy says:

    Mark, you are proud of the fact that you voted for and admire a man who is a “rube who can’t put a sentence or two together?” Wow. That is truly sad, and says a lot about you. And you claim to be patriotic? I can’t think of anything that is more un-patriotic.

  9. bicycle bob says:

    thats all what u people see. u said he was dumb as rocks the first 4 yrs. now hes a svengali and a genuis. which is it? u people better come up with some ideas quick or ur gonna lose ur party to the left wing kooks. seriously

  10. TheBrotherhoodOfTheLostSkeletonOfCadavra says:

    The “Scream” is possibly the most unfair smear ever perpetrated on a political candidate. CNN ran footage from a camcorder of that moment. Dean was COMPLETELY inaudible in the room because there was so much noise–he was trying to make himself heard over the din! (Plus he was trying to get people’s spirits up after a third place finish.) The networks were plugged directly into the hotel sound system, so naturally it was picked up from his mike. This is just another example of using the most picayune thing imaginable to derail a person’s candidacy.

  11. Joe Leydon says:

    Doomster: The “Nanook” allusion refers to “Nanook of the North” (1922), one of the first significant documentary features, directed by Robert J. Flaherty. Flaherty’s classic film tells the story of Inuit hunter Nanook as the poor guy (bundled up almost as heavily as Cheney) stuggled to suvive in Arctic wilderness. Oh, and by the way: Then, as now, there was debate as to whether the documentarian had actually “staged” some events.

  12. bicycle bob says:

    come on now. how many times have we all heard the scream. its hilarious. the guy just blew up cause he saw his campaign exploding or imploding. deans gonna be even funnier as chairman. lets hope he doesn’t forget what got him there and screams some more and doesn’t talk about national security.

  13. Joe Leydon says:

    Ooops. Above posting should read “struggled to survive.”

  14. jon s says:

    But Joe, it is, I think, true that with US ratings having gone way, way down for the Oscars over the last couple of decades, the money made selling international rights becomes more important than ever to the Academy. I’m sure it costs them a fortune to put on that show. Besides that, they probably rely on the extra revenue a bit for their library and other expenses. Obviously they’d get a lower price for, say, the Australian broadcast rights if the show were to be hosted by a TV actor that nobody in Australia had ever heard of.

  15. jon s says:

    Whopse, posted this on the wrong thread!

  16. Joe Leydon says:

    Jon: There is no American TV actor — well, OK, no American TV actor who’s a big enough star to be reasonably considered as an Oscar host — who’s unknown in Australia. At the risk of sounding like a couple of our least favorite posters — U.S. pop culture products in general, but movies and TV in particular, dominate the globe. Indeed, critic Stanley Kauffmann argued not too long ago that there is no such thing as “an American movie star.” Sure, there may be Italian movie stars who are beloved in their own country, but remain unknown everywhere else. Just as there are Korean, French, Russian and German film stars. But if you hit it big in American movies, you aren’t “an American film star” — you are an international star, because U.S. films are seen EVERYWHERE. I’m not saying there aren’t French film stars who are internationally known. But I am saying that there aren’t any Amercian film stars — and no TV stars, either — who aren’t known everywhere. (There may be a few TV personalities — say, Ted Koppell, or Conan O’Brian — who aren’t known in Australia, but “stars” and “actors” are the operative words in this discussion.) Put it another way: Teri Hatcher will be an Oscar host long before Catherine Deneuve or Ziyi Zhang ever will be.

  17. jon s says:

    Are you sure? I thought that was something that was talked about all the time, say, by Letterman. He could go to England and pretty much be left alone while the people he interviewed from film didn’t have the same luxury. Maybe there’s a distinction between stars of TV DRAMAS like DALLAS, which was sindicated around the word making Larry Hagman and international star, vs. stars of US talkshows (Carson, Letterman, O’Brian). I was also kind of under the impression that sitcoms (like Sienfeld) were less often exported, just due to the fact that TV comedy doesn’t translate well from one culture to another: too culturally specific. And it works the other way: We all knew who Judi Dench is, but except for a small group of people who watch Britcoms on PBS, we don’t really know who there TV comedy stars are.

  18. Joe Leydon says:

    Like I said: American TV “personalities” likely are largely unknown beyond our borders. (Even Johnny Carson was able to go about his business undisturbed in Europe — unless, of course, he ran into U.S. tourists. But, hell, that doesn’t count — I mean, I’ve only done local TV and cable TV news guest spots, but a U.S. tourist came by my resturant table to say hello to ME in London a few years back.) But, yes, even U.S. sitcoms are everywhere, as I’ve been amused to learn during my travels. Do you know that the British TV runs “Friends” 2 or 3 times a day? That you can buy DVDs of “Sex in the City” in Liverpol supermarkets? That — I swear to God, I am not making this up — German TV airs reruns of “Hogan’s Heroes”? And as for the dominance of movies, well, let me put it like this: A few years ago, before Yugoslavia split apart, I was in Zagreb on a Friday night. I went to a local cinema, out of curosity to see what was playing. There was a kiosk in the lobby with a listing for every major movie theater in the city. AND EVERY FREAKING THEATER WAS SHOWING AN AMERICAN-MADE MOVIE. Not one French film, not one Chinese film, not even one Yugoslavian film. You know, we cultural imperialists have a lot to answer for. LOL.

  19. bicycle bob says:

    i think jamie foxx is campaigning for next yrs job

  20. Joe Leydon says:

    Consider this: According to the website for the Sydney Morning Herald, the following U.S. shows are available on Australian TV tonight: sitcoms “Frasier,” “Sabrina the Teen-Age Witch,” “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “The Simpsons,” dramas “Law & Order SVU,” “Lost,” “ER” and “Medical Investigation,” reality TV “The Great Race” — and, no kidding, “Late Night With David Letterman.” Hey, maybe Oscar should invite Dave back to the show.

  21. gombro says:

    This cross-thread conversation is getting very confusing! Maybe you’re right. I, for one, would love to see Jerry Seinfeld host it. But before we resolve this completely, can anyone tell us if US tv does well in non-English language foreign countries? Parlez-vous Francais? Sprecken ze Deutch?

  22. Mark says:

    Seinfeld would be the best choice for a host. Who else can do it?

  23. Joe Leydon says:

    Gomby: Exhibit A — “Friends” in France.

  24. gombro says:

    Zut alors! Merci beaucoup, mon ami! (And I guess that settles that!)

  25. Mark says:

    Letterman will forever be haunted by that Uma-Oprah thing.

  26. Joe Leydon says:

    Mark: You’re probably right. To his credit, though, Letterman repeatedly has mocked himself for that one. In fact, if you remember, he appeared in Billy Crystal’s introductory film montage the very next year, riffing on “Uma-Oprah.”
    Actually, I vaguely remember one year when they tried multiple Oscar hosts. It didn’t work — actually, if I recall corectly, it was pretty much a disaster — but Michael Caine held up his part of the hosting duties with his trademark humor and poise. He may be considered too much of an old timer to be a solo host these days. But I think that raises an intriguing question: What contemporary MOVIE STAR – not necessarily a stand-up comic, but a star nonetheless — would have the charisma necessary to be a smooth and successful host? George Clooney, maybe?

  27. gombro says:

    I like the suggestion of Jim Carrey a lot, actually. I bet they’ve offered it to him, too… Clooney offers an interesting idea about, as you say, Joe, a non comedian host. I mean why not? Save all the jokes for the various presenters and just have the host … you know … host the thing with wit and charm and gracefulness.

  28. Joe Fitz says:

    I think Carrey would make a wonderful host to the Oscars but I think he wants to win one first. Shame he didn’t get rewarded for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

  29. thedoom says:

    Thanks for all the info Mr. Leydon, I appreciate it!

  30. JoeLeydon says:

    You’re welcome, Doom. But please — I’m not THAT old. My name is Joe. My father’s name is Mr. Leydon

  31. thedoom says:

    hahaha, alright sounds good… I just saw another Joe (joe fitz) so I wanted to be clear. I’ll call you Joe L when it’s required, agreed?

  32. TheBrotherhoodOfTheLostSkeletonOfCadavra says:

    Actually, a friend at the Academy told me that they HAVE asked Letterman to host again, but he turns it down because he doesn’t want to abandon the myth that he stank so he can continue to make jokes about it, much as Carson always did with his small role in LOOKING FOR LOVE, or all the mileage Hope got from “never winning an Oscar.”
    I think Nathan Lane would be a terrific host (he’s done the Tonys a few times), and apparently he too has been asked, but he’s always too busy.

  33. bicycle bob says:

    i’m sure rock wasn’t the first choice for the academy. surprised they went with him. i think he is too

  34. Terence D says:

    I saw Lane on Broadway in the Producers. An amazing talent. I can’t wait for the movie version later this year. Early frontrunner for ’06?

  35. bicycle bob says:

    the original holds up pretty well. good way to make a quick buck by remaking it with the popular cast of the broadway show. will f is in it. reason enough to see it.

  36. Mark says:

    Its not exactly on my must see list of the new year.

  37. bicycle bob says:

    i’ll see anything with will ferrel in it. even that new woody allen movie.

  38. Joe Leydon says:

    Terence D: Beware of making early Oscar predictions about musicals. I think Dave Poland has taught us that lesson.

  39. bicycle bob says:

    who didn’t think phantom was gonna bomb with schumacher behind the camera? hes made one good film. st elmos fire.

  40. Joe Leydon says:

    Bobster: Oh, I don’t know… I think “Cousins” and “The Lost Boys” were every bit as enjoyable.
    BTW: Has anyone out there seen the stage adaptation of “St. Elmo’s Fire” yet? It sounds like the most unnecessary screen-to-stage transfer since “Singing in the Rain,” but who knows?

  41. Terence D says:

    Producers has a good pedigree to get nominated. Popular Broadway show, two great stars, great director, and already has been a good film. Phantom of the Opera had Schumacher, a no name cast, and way too much expectations. I hope it does not bomb like Phantom did.

  42. Mark says:

    I don’t think I’d be marking that nomination down in pen. Mark it down in pencil. A lot can happen. Who would have thought a year ago Million Dollar Baby and Sideways would be two of the three fav’s?

  43. Joe Leydon says:

    OK, I know there’s no way I can ask this without it sounding like a dis of Martin Scorsese.. and I swear, it’s not… but has anyone else out there heard a rumor about proposals for a “Taxi Driver” sequel? With Scorsese AND De Niro on board?

  44. bicycle bob says:

    i have read that. maybe on aicn. who wouldn’t see that though? deniro would do anything for a dollar now. what happend to his integrity?

  45. Joe Leydon says:

    OK, let me throw out a topic for discussion: Couldn’t you argue that, considering how both Eastwood and Scorsese had to go to outside investors, and “Ray” was an indie-produced negative pickup for Universal, all five Best Picture nominees, like them or not, actually are indie movies?

  46. Mark says:

    Whats your definition of indie? When a studio finances even a part of your picture it is in the studio system.

  47. JoeLeydon says:

    Then “Ray” qualifies as an indie, because it was financed completely outside the studio system before being picked up by Universal. But the others…?

  48. bicycle bob says:

    tough to say any movie with a budget in the 10 millions is an indie. when i think indie i think clerks, slacker, etc. not a movie with box office stars, a proven oscar winning director, and a pedigree.

  49. Joe Leydon says:

    But what is an indie? Are we talking about a definition based on budget, or independence? Or total artistic control? Stanley Kubrick got his movies financed by Warners — but was there ever a more independent filmmaker in the history cinema? Jim Jarmusch once said that, strictly speaking, there are no independent filmmakers, except for those who totally finance their own movies. So, if I win the lottery and decide to make my very own movie for, oh, $10 million, does my movie qualify as an indie? If I get a bunch of investors to back my $7 million production, and I wind up selling it to MGM — is THAT an indie? Were “Sideways” and “Finding Neverland” true indies?

  50. Terence D says:

    No film is an indie nowadays. Everybody has financing from somewhere. Everyone hires pro actors. An indie to me is The Brother McMullen. Something done by amatuers, newbies, etc. How can you call Sideways an indie film? It has stars. It has an Socar nominated screenwriter/director. It has a budget over about 20 million dollars.

  51. bicycle bob says:

    just because sideways and neverland don’t have a budget of 110mill and aren’t tentpole summer flicks doesn’t make them indie. unless u finance ur own movie and release it and put it out there, it isn’t indie.

  52. Mark says:

    The word indie is just a marketing tool. Thats it.

  53. L.J. says:

    I can hardly wait to see if Martin Scorsese stays among the ranks of Alfred Hitchcock, Stanley Kubrick, Charlie Chaplin, Akira Kurosawa, and Ingmar Bergman as a director who’s never won a competitive directing Oscar, or if he is elevated to the ranks of George Roy Hill, Sidney Pollick, James L. Brooks, and Ron Howard! How exciting!!!!!

  54. Joe Leydon says:

    7:55 EST: Very funny opening monolgue by Chris Rock. So far, one award for “Aviator” (art direction), one for “M$B” (Morgan Freeman) — neither I can argue with.

  55. Stella's Boy says:

    I wasn’t crazy about Rock’s monologue. It was OK. Sort of ended abruptly. Some of the jokes definitely fell flat. I still don’t think Freeman deserved it for this particular performance. I honestly believe it’s the weakest acting of the five nominees.

  56. Joe Leydon says:

    8:09 EST: Beyonce can sing in French? Who knew? But she should have ditched the pea-green eyeshadow.
    Was Freeman more of a Lifetime Achievement thing? Maybe. But I still think he deserved it.
    Robin Williams seemed unusually restrained — but I loved the Brando as Elmer Fudd moment.

  57. Stella's Boy says:

    Wasn’t Williams told he had to cut some of his material by ABC? And was Brad Bird cut off? I missed the end of his acceptance speech. Just curious.

  58. Stella's Boy says:

    Saw?! The Chronicles of Riddick?! Alien vs. Predator?! Yikes. Three of the worst movies of 2004.

  59. Stella's Boy says:

    Nice intro for Robbins. The acceptance speeches have been very brief thus far.

  60. Joe Leydon says:

    8:28 CST 9not EST as I’ve been posting, sorry): Actually, during the interview segment in the theater lobby, I found myself thinking: Gee, don’t these people sound like some of the posters on this blog? Yikes.
    Yeah, I think Williams was told to clean up his act by ABC. There was a piece saying as much in the NYT today.
    Hey, three awards for “Aviator” so far. Good sign for Marty or not?

  61. Stella's Boy says:

    Might be just me and you Joe. I was thinking that The Aviator’s awards are consolation prizes and M$B is going to win the major ones.

  62. Stella's Boy says:

    Is it just me, or is the show hauling ass at this point? Or is the pace no quicker than last year?

  63. Joe Leydon says:

    Seems VERY quick to me, but I suspect it’ll slow down when we get to various tributes, film montages, etc.
    Is it just me, or does the lead singer for Counting Crows look like a character from the Simpsons?

  64. Stella's Boy says:

    You’re right, he does. Sideshow Bob maybe? He’s a very weird lookin’ dude. The Counting Crows must be elated with their nomination. I believe they have been playing casinos lately.

  65. Stella's Boy says:

    Ugh. That Sandler/Rock/Zeta-Jones bit was painfully unfunny. Not good. I’m glad Payne and Taylor won.

  66. Joe Leydon says:

    See: I told you things would start to slow down once the tributes began.
    The Sandler/Rock thing happned to promote their co-starring in “The Longest Yard.” But that’s no excuse.
    Hey, good for the editing award! Thelma deserves it. But, as you say, are these consolation prizes?

  67. Lota says:

    The interviewing the ‘man on the street’ re. fave flicks was funny (Chronicles of Riddick…whew).
    Sandler NOT funny but glad not to have to listen to CZJ.
    WIns are dullsville and not what I wished for.
    and ‘Zup wit Pacino’s hair?! It’s been ‘lively’ before but now it looks like it’s ready for its own condo!

  68. Joe Leydon says:

    Best Oscar presenter so far: The droll Jeremy Irons. (Nifty ad lib.) But who the hell screwed up the seating so poor Bill Plympton had to get up to make way for the guy who deafted him for Best Animated Short?

  69. Joe Leydon says:

    Can’t help wondering if they’re thinking over at Warners right now: “Well, gee, maybe we SHOULD have cast Antonio Banderas in “‘Phantom of the Opera.'”

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