By David Poland firstname.lastname@example.org
Oh My He Didn't Like This Film!!!!
Selected outtakes from Matt Zoller Seitz’ review of Beyond The Sea:
Now that Spacey’s dream has come true, viewers have the chance to see a two-hour film with little film sense, about a phenomenally selfish entertainer who was a prick to pretty much everyone, played by an actor who’s 15 years too old for the part and who insists on doing all his own singing and dancing even though he’s not very good. To quote Dallas Observer columnist Robert Wilonsky’s observation about Vanilla Ice during his ganja-and-dredlocks phase, "The kid’s got balls of steel. Too bad they’re rolling around in his head."
Spacey dances like Pee-Wee Herman on a hot plate, and his off-pitch, rhythm-free singing is so lackluster that if he wasn’t playing Darin and singing Darin’s hits, you would never be able to guess whom he was imitating.
Defending his hairpiece, Darin declares, "Sinatra wears one." Yeah, but Sinatra’s looked like it was made of real hair, and he didn’t try to play 20 years younger than he was. Spacey-as-Darin is simply too theatrical—too artificial—to be believed. In broad daylight, he looks like a wax statue of Mike Wallace that’s begun to melt.